Mask vs. Real

External vs. Internal (thought/feelings)

Polite  vs.
                  annoyed, angry, hating (aha!) (gr)...stupid, trite, boring

Listening, Interested vs.
                  self-absorbed, thinking (sat!)..don't care, bored

Serious vs.
                  humorous (critical, judgemental, mocking, joking, absurd)

also:

well vs. tormented
english vs. spanish
ordinary vs. extraordinary

my life, lately

by Jesse L Teshara

happy halloween, i have a cirque du soleil mask to wear.
i met a checker at trader joe's whose name is Ween.
- and Alexis at ashby avenue (aaaaa!)
 we watched CSI svu, and Law and Order
(blasts from the past)

I read The Betrothed, by Manzoni not too long ago.
and Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett
-working on my third trivia book (perfectly useless information, by Symons),
after finishing Pinkie is more powerful  than your thumb, by Vincenzo
and Book of the Bizarre, by Varla Venturi..  

my dad is happily back home (in SF) from rehab (in Pacifica).
my friend Sara (with Augustis) is visiting Rebecca in Tennessee
I had a vietnamese sandwich with them (SPA), last thurs.
I have a serious, full-on beard, of late- scruffy and shaggy!
i bought a sushi burrito yesterday, and a strawberry paleta tuesday.
I walked Fido and Taco in San Leandro from 8a to 9a, on Tuesday, too
(FaT two's day!)  I often get a pastor taco there, from los pericos restaurant.
i used up my starbuck's gift cards on cups of morning coffee-
i'm wearing my "lavese las monos" t-shirt
(it's a spanish pun -retruecano- ... wash your monkeys! ('manos' is hands)
i'm looking forward to getting a smart phone for x-mas

my bmi says I'm overweight (212 at 6'1), (maybe i'm 6'2)
and that my range should be between 140-189 (!!) Only 23 to go.
my (schizophrenia) symptoms have been much less, of late (Yes!!)
i almost feel healthy.  Is it possible?! that would be fantastic.

Musical Schizophrenia

Sarah Machlachlan or Black Sabbath?

Yes.  Both!  I like them both, anyway.
I'm a hawkish dove.  trying to be an owl.
save the puppies and kittens, and blow up the terrorists!  It's the same thing.  Well, trying to be.  Pro-life, pro quality of life, death to death-dealers...

in the arms of the angels...
fairies wear boots...

If only terrorists could all be locked up instead of murdered as enemy combatants, so they could:
fight fires, pick up trash,
read and write books, make/record audiobooks
earn degrees, do science,
scare people straight,
(empower themselves through body-building
and teaching/learning martial arts)
be contributing citizens,
live happy and productive lives...
(what else?)

instead of indirectly causing the deaths of non-targeted civilians (as collateral damage, unintended consequences), which is in today's (Huffington) news.

 I saw a video on fb of a hawkish series of bird's eye video of drone strike explosions set to Black Sabbath, supposed to fire me up in patriotic fervor and pride in our bad-ass military, eliminating American-enemy 'ragheads', who don't know who the hell they're fucking with.

It's an ugly world, and this kind of thing can be viscerally satisfying, but it's not working, it's creating more enemies and ill-will, and it needs to stop.  It's overkill, and unjust, and basically evil.  The military culture (kill em all, let god sort em out?) behind this illegal, immoral, unethical drone practice (if not policy) isn't humane or compassionate, it's criminal.  The dark side is a bitch, I know.  But even soldiers shouldn't be allowed to kill with impunity (despite what 'Be all you can be' might imply).

anyway,
here's another article (on schizophrenia), which I guess is relevant.. 

Unity of Humanity

Politics and Religion seem to fragment, aggravate, and divide humankind-

BUT
We're all in the same boat, we're all in this thing together, for better or worse -a worldwide community, the global village, spaceship earth, the third rock from the sun, floating in space, out here all alone, in this lonely spiral arm of the milky way galaxy..

No matter what we believe, in religion or politics, we should help our fellow man, our fellow citizens, and strive to make a better world for All (including animals, foreigners, strangers, enemies, prisoners, the rich, the poor, of all backgrounds and persuasions, alike and different).

We're all human, and much more alike than we are different.  Right?
War is never good, and demonization is always a step in the wrong direction.
Let's do the right thing, and respect and appreciate and be grateful for one another; be kind and helpful and friendly, and strive to be happy and pleasant and cheerful and even humorous.

Personally, I find all religions interesting, if not "trippy," and my idea of fun is visiting lots of different kinds of religious services, sampling the variety, and broadening my perspective, and integrating it all into "one ball of wax."  Maybe it's my virgo nature that likes to analyze all the philosophies, beliefs, dogmas, practices.  I prefer critical thinking to blind faith and obedience, such as when an entire congregation slavishly (like zombies, in my opinion) recite the songs, prayers, and creeds put before them.  I would like to see rigid sectarianism and exclusivity replaced with global openness and curiosity about all forms of spirituality and religious expression.  Why not everybody as everything!?  We really could be!  (It's biblical, actually.  god is love, and love believes in all things)
1 John 4:8/4:16b; 1 Corinthians 13:7

My mom says "to each his own" and we should only believe in things "good and true," which is the flip side of the same coin.  Human nature is varied, and diversity is good, and maybe everybody is wrong! (which also needs be considered, if not believed.)  Does anybody actually believe in something bad and false?!  Actually, I'm not sure it matters one iota what anyone believes.  I believe in freedom, so no one should be persecuted for their beliefs, right or wrong.  But you are free to believe otherwise!  Of course, they say the Pope is infallible (!).

Am I a Hypocrite?

Declaring Myself God might appear "A Bit Much"

I think I'm a good person, and that's all I'm really saying.  (the bible says Only God is good)
And I think everybody is basically good, and has the power to create their personal Utopia/Heaven for themselves.

But I realize it seems arrogant, conceited, proud, superior, condescending, pretentious, self-indulgent...

as well as
commonly perceived as a "messiah complex" (i.e. mentally ill)

I actually think my ideas in this blog serve a valuable purpose of bridging the divide between Theists and Atheists, as well as providing common ground for Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, Jews, etc.

I'm just an amateur philosopher, who enjoys thinking about this stuff as a kind of hobby.
And I find it satisfying Being God (!), as a way/example of being in the world. Join the party!  Be on the same team, of corporate Goodness, Godco, I am who am, Love, etc.

I still eat meat sometimes, and hate (seriously, it's rough), and consider myself fully human...which I suppose makes me hypocritical.
I'm working on it.
-Jess

further clarification of what this blog is all about-

Throughout history, and around the world, in many traditions, mystics have sought unity with the divine.  For me, being God is not a transcendent experience, but rather a simple fact of everyday existence.  All it requires is to Be Good.  To be "One with the Universe" is to simply be yourself.  Divinity is One's natural state.  

Why I Like Bernie

check out feelthebern.org!

a few good reasons, in my view:
1.I believe in Universal Healthcare, for one.  (I think it should be a human right, globally, in fact)

2.I also think education should be free.  I think paying for degrees is basically a scam and a con -if libraries are free, then so should be education -it could ALL go online, as I see it. Bernie supports making public colleges and universities free (for those who get in), which I think is spot on.
(Education is basically just moving information from some people's brains to others'  (through conversations, instruction, reading books, online);  I actually think all books should be online, free, for everyone, too, like the free courses that are already available, as well as -of course- Wikipedia.  Expensive textbooks could be free, accessible online, in my book.  You agree, right?

3.I think we should keep billionaires from buying our elections.

4.Society would benefit greatly if corporations responsibly paid their share of taxes.

5. (well paying) jobs from improving U.S. infrastructure.

6. He's not Republican, not Hillary, and not Trump.
BS over b.s.!

7. He's the most liberal (which is a good thing, in my opinion (except for abortion).  He's got the right idea. You know where he stands.  He's not a flip flopper, and doesn't waffle.  He's had the same views forever.  He supports a healthy debate, a national conversation, and puts the "social" in socialism, which is what a healthy democracy should be all about.

Tomorrow night is the democratic debate, 5:30pm.
I'll be at the Bernie party at Ohmega Salvage, in Berkeley.
Go Bernie! 
He strikes me as ornery, grumpy, a bit crotchety, lol
but that's not really all that bad, and possibly what we need, anyway.
fire in his belly, as they say.