My Jail Story

Irritating and entertaining and two remaining

Anyway, my time in jail

JLT, jail time jolt

At the time, in Sacramento, I was in a room and board, or board and care, situation, without the care, and with a guy named Eric, with a rabbit, that wanted to fight me, I don’t know why.   I didn’t want to, that’s not who I am, or what I do, I don’t risk death (or murder), I haven’t fought anyone since the stupid scuffle in like 5th grade….  Anyway, I ended up calling the cops, but they wouldn’t send anyone, and I got annoyed, so I lied, and told the police dispatcher that I had killed someone, and the body was in the house there.   I figured, I had nothing to fear, because there WASN'T ANY body, and Eric was the one who wanted to fight, and I’m a good guy, which they’ll figure out, right?  Lol.  Well, like a dozen cops came, and a laser was bouncing on my chest, and I ran to another room, and I decided to have some fun, because I like wrestling, and I thought of it like I was training the police, and I ended up being charged with assault on a police officer, and they wanted like 20 years, even though I pulled my punch, and didn’t hit with full force, and could have seriously injured some of them, had I wanted to, which I didn’t.   Well, anyway, I guess I DID train them, and I DID have some fun, but I wouldn’t recommend it, because it was incredibly stupid, and cops don’t like that kind of thing, unless you’re an instructor at the police academy or something, lol.  I was in for 10 months, and pleaded No Contest in a plea bargain.  So I didn’t go to trial, but I waited the ten while the lawyers prepared to go to court (thanks for the work on my behalf, public defender, Maura!).  

In an interesting aside, I had just come out as gay when I wasn’t, just for kicks.   And my mom called me and annoyed me and I called her a bitch, the day before the shit went down.  And also, I really needed to get the hell out of that living situation, and when I got out of jail, I ended up back in Davis, where I met a good woman, who I sort of married, and who I am still good friends with, today.  And I wonder what the charge(s) would have been, and punishment, for merely lying to a cop, or if I had let them arrest me without resisting, or without evidence of any crime.  And I still really wonder what the heck Eric wanted to fight me for.  And where he is today.