litany of evil

satan, mephistopheles, antichrist, lucifer, beelzebub, devil, demons, monsters, criminals, wicked, evil, sinful, turpitude, depravity, diabolism, misery, sadness, grief, depression, anxiety, stress, worry, panic, terror, melancholy, down, under the weather, weeping, mourning, inconsolable, torment, torture, pain, agony, suffering, anguish, despair, hopelessness, gnashing of teeth, hell, locked in, neuralgia, oppressed, enslaved, abused, beaten, whipped, beheaded, dismembered, guillotined, electrocuted, defenestrated, raped, victimized, unforgiven, cursed, called a pos, hated, accused, lied about, ruined, disrespected, slander, libel, calumny, defamation, kidnapped, neglected, bullied, ignored, assaulted, violated, possessed, poisoned, infected, broken, starved, disfigured, wounded, abrasions, slapped, confined, isolated, stolen from, misfortune, abject poverty, privation, unmet need, drought, famine, war, pestilence, plague, mindfuct, hypnotized, stomped, sleep-deprived, yelled at, tattooed, waterboarded, thumb-screwed, blinded, abacinated, tongue cut out, asphyxiation, suffocation, forced, discontent, unpleasantry, dukkha, alienation, loneliness, helplessness, weak, deprived of rights, insulted, injured, persecuted, ill, affliction, addiction, stimulus-deprived, experimented on, objectified, a pet, a toy, a mere thing, a loser, a guinea pig, made guilty, gaslit, punched, hit, tripped, kicked, elbowed, kneed, strike, choked, strangled, pierced,  impaled, cut, slashed, burned, lesions, scars, bruised, madness, snapped, anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, ire, spite, malice, resentment, unfair and unjust treatment, inequality, pushed, aggravated, hurt, sinned against, force-medicated, misunderstood, unwelcome, outsider, scapegoat, labeled, delusional, psychotic, hallucinatory, schizophrenic, mad crazy insane, manipulated, treated with cruelty, brutality, savagery, ruthlessness, merciless, unkindness, rude, unloved, murdered, genocide, cannibalized, dumped, forgotten.

being shunned:  lesions, contusions, abrasions, delusions, confusion, and tension, depression, aggression, collision, concussion, perversion, transgression, subversion, compulsion, obsession, derision, aspersion.

AIL, alienation isolation loneliness

(grief of, guilty of, god of) devilishly demonic diabolical depravity;   death, disease, depression, despair;   destruction, disfigurement, deprivation, disaster

Buddha is a genius on dukkha

whoever says, "it's all good" has got a screw loose, I'd say (when speaking globally);  but your life CAN be really, really good!

Heads or Tails

Abortion, revisited

Killing your baby, basically, before birth.   Is it like cutting your hair?  Or, is it snuffing an innocent, heavenly being?  People may be like rocks, philosophically speaking, just objects - but a hundred years or whatever of LIFE, is certainly nothing to sneeze at.  Denying your own flesh and blood the opportunity to LIVE, in all it’s ups and downs, glory and error, seems to me to be irreconcilable with self-regard, irreversible, shameful, if not evil.   The virtue of adoption far outweighs the cons of birthing pain, in my book.   You want to prove you’re a bad ass, who killed her own child, for street cred?  Or maybe snipping a pea from the pod seems far less excruciating than pushing out a bowling ball, as it were.  Or, Nature is red in tooth and claw, and life is hell, and life isn’t worth living in the first place, so you’re doing your child a favor?  I mean, you just KNOW it’s a little piece of shit, future Hitler or something, and you’d be doing society a favor, too.  OR….  It’s not a human (yet).   It’s an inconvenience, a clump of cells, a blob of tissue, like the germs you wash off your skin every time you take a shower.  So it goes.  Whatever.   Life is meaningless, anyway.   Unless your baby is a future president, Buddha, deity, or “happily ever after” story (can you predict?).

Let’s dive into that, more.    What lives have the most merit, and deserve to live, in the first place?  People who will fall in love, and make their partner happy, is one answer.   Outstanding servants of society, like say a political leader or pope or scientist who cures cancer, or something.  I’d like to think authors and philosophers contribute to social well-being, just as scientists reveal truth.   Comedians rank up there, for me.   If you ease the pain, make life fun, you get a pass.  On the other hand, I’m not saying there are people who would’ve been better off dead, or will be detrimental to society, or too unimportant to matter (like, say, a mindless agglomeration of a few cells).   Is pruning a bush the same thing?  I like people more than bushes.  I’m not sure what to say.   A lot can influence the outcome of a blank slate like your bouncy baby boy or darling princess.  The thing is pretty much out of your control.  Flip a coin. 

objection!  obstetrics is not about objects!  objective is to be objective.  Everything is a thing.  good things and evil things? or, all just neutral matter, like Matt the mad hatter;  thinking about thing-king.   What's the matter with you?  huh?

rime and thyme, rhyme time:  secular sex and divine dining, food boo'd and beard cheered, hairy and scary, comfort from Mumford, magically pelagic, trite bites, delicious and nutritious, chow on cow, eat meat, ingest pests, consume whom?  fine dining with wine, sleep deeply, the best rest, relax with the facts, enjoy your toys, celebrate being celibate, mirth on a birthday on earth day, read about deeds, watch your crotch, protect your neck, attack back, aikido libido... be happy in your nappy says Pappy, love the doves, kiss your miss, I triple dog dare you to go fuck a duck, nevermind said the Buddhist, stream of consciousness in my sociological socks, awake aware alert, asleep oblivious gone, la la land and the law of the land, lol.  Laos police, Copernicus the copulating cop, and Sharif the sheriff.  Rock the casbah with asthma.

who am I

what am I

where am I

when is this?

why am I doing this?

how are you

which am I?

huh?

I recently bought Kachava.   I like it.   I got coffee flavor.  Much much better than the mushroom coffee I've been getting.   And Jelly Bellies.  Also good.  30 flavors, 3 pounds.  I'm listening to Paul Oakenfold on my new Bose headphones.   Life is good.   I trimmed my beard.  I got new shoes from REI, and some coasters from Goodwill.   The house needs a new fridge/freezer.   Mike is on that, I think.  Our popsicles melted.   I'm visiting my mom in SF this Friday.  I gave Rhee a carton of cigarettes.  $75.   10 packs.  Seneca.  Cheapest in town.  If I don't just douse myself in a cold shower, I'd like to buy a pass to go to one of Berkeley's public pools.   You know, free swim.  I'm not into laps, really.   I just wanna splash around in the sun and enjoy the water.  I have a beach towel.   The reclining chair I found and brought back home with me has been rejected for being torn and used.   Oh well.   I thought it was cool.   At the Rialto, I want to see the Cat video fest '26 coming up, as well as the Grateful Dead concert.   I always wanted to go to one of those.   It was big among my crowd, growing up.  Class of '89!  Go cats!  I bought a pair of ergonomic pillows - I hope they help with my drool situation (from clozapine), as well as my hearing.    By that, I mean the last 3 days I've woken with something like "swimmer's ear" in my right ear, that doesn't just shake loose.   Yesterday, I was hoping and trying to pop the bubble or whatever most of the day.   It was disturbing.  Riding my bike impaired with some added anxiety.  I tugged on my earlobe, pressed behind my ear, and messed with the pressure with my finger, until it actually went away (WHILE I was on the phone to Kaiser!).  Plus, my junk plumbing is haywire, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, Kelli and I both  have new backpacks, and I'm always busy with reading, whether trivia or Economist.   Just finished The Washington Book, by Carlos Lozada.   I checked out 3 movie dvd's from the local branch library.   I do a lot of running around on my bike to get stuff for K and I.  Daily exercise, like pushups, planks, shakes, and jumprope.   I'm highly motivated to lose my gut.   I don't know how much I weigh, though.

ant eye matter

even ants, I grant, are giants

   i.e.   a (myxobolus shekel) is 8.5 micrometers long, fully grown 

   (0.0085 mm), like 10 could fit in the width of a hair

   MSF, mxobouls shekel fart?  they don't have digestive tracts.

     so, the tardigrades (like the "water bears") do, though. (0.05mm)

water-bear fart?, WBF, (they lack complex gut bacteria and fermentation chambers that make gas)...  

also known as a wood-burning fireplace, 

to re-enter humanity

there's a fish that communicates by farting

Manchu cannibal says "I cannot stomach you"

wish for a dish of nutritious fish

vampire omits vomit, includes lewd

me and you on the Menu;  delicioUS

a vision for fission;  confusion about fusion

democrat demon-rats?  

ew, evil wicked, Elizabeth Warren

bc, bent corrupt, Bill Clinton

political wordplay- reaper republicans with hatred / red hats

I'm now affiliated with the Green Party

   me and the other little green men

And I have cool emerald Vuarnet shades 

I liked Schwarzenegger.   Barack should've quit smoking while president, with more attention to the President's council on physical fitness.  Donald?  if they throw a shoe at you, Donald Duck!

Do you buy what Dubai is selling?

Paris is parlous and perilous

Marty the martyr

BC and AD, Bill Cosby and Aliko Dangote

Erica from America, says

Sheinbaum and her shiny new bomb

Jack's jackal hides from Jekyll, in Hyderabad

What's the rush for Russia?

San Luis Obispo is SLO

Fast times at Ridgemont High (I got friends in Low places)

speedy Gonzalez and slowpoke Rodriguez

Hurry up, hurricane

Star Trek and start wreck, Finish in Finland

Spacex and space sex and getting it on

Get On With It!  

family cars

Larry Teshara and Tesla, Peggy T and PT Cruiser, GTO, Jetta

4x4 equals sweet 16

clarity about Larry T

Happy in an electric vehicle in Madagascar

Floating down the Seine, remembering Madrid and crazy town :-)

strawberry shortcake, with a longing for longevity

brevity levity. (whoopee we're all gonna die!)

demonic Jesus and Saint Satan?

killing fig trees and distributing toys to children on Xmas

panjandrum, generalized Lord High Everything

Chemicals

EVERYthing is made of chemicals

People are mentally ill about "chemicals" being bad.   And everybody has their own opinion about what is tolerable and acceptable and desired and unwelcome.

I mean, flatulence is disgusting (sometimes more than others).    Some incense is better than others, and in different quantities.    People are sensitive to perfumes.   Cleaning chemicals freak people out about being toxic or dangerous.  Cigarettes are a constant battle over the carcinogenic properties of second-hand smoke.   "sin upon sin"

We all need to respect one another.   Civilly discuss our preferences.  And keep our word  about not crossing the red lines,  the limits we should adapt to.

If you have mental illness, cigarettes can be helpful, sometimes.   Some odors make people sick.   Body odor can be especially offensive, but we don't need to spend fortunes on chemicals to mask and cleanse and purify.   There IS such a thing as TOO clean, I think.   

The sense of smell is the strongest trigger for memories, good or bad.

Use scents wisely, kindly, positively.

Please.

Lava

 Hell

Perdition

Eternal torment

Unending horror

For all eternity, without end, forever and ever

An infinity of burning in Lake of Fire

Pain, Agony, Suffering, Torture

Misery, Anguish, Despair

God’s punishment for sin, wickedness, evil, depravity 

In my book, Hell IS the biggest sin

A good God would never create such a thing

But if anyone does, they deserve it, themselves, you ask me

cruelty, brutality, savagery, ruthlessness

rape, murder, slavery

Karma: mean to the mean, get what you give

Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth

anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, ire, spite, madness

Ranging from dissatisfaction to pure evil

Rage against the machine

Goddamned piece of shit

A place removed from God, full of demons

Satan, Mephistopheles, Antichrist, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Devil, etc.

war is hell;  hellions are in a bad place

No good luck

No fun

A fancy scare

No one survives death

Everyone gets Oblivion

Sinners, saints, amoebas, elephants, everyone

But the concept of hell serves a purpose

Scared straight, fear of God

God uses both the carrot and the stick

Mind control

Be good, or else

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here

A lot of noise, words, intimidation, fear

Hell is dukkha

Pleasure is the absence of dukkha

Neutral is positive (relative to the insanely negative)

Be grateful, satisfied, happy, well with your life, no matter what

No regrets, no hate, accepance, equanimity, curiosity, engagement. 

Laugh, meditate, play, refrain from wrongness, error, spite, malice, revenge

Turn the other cheek

Forgive and forget, let it be

Kindness is my religion

It’s a long hard road out of hell

Conceptual relief, with realization of truth (nothingness, oblivion, nullibiety)

Ways to die

 Weight, Dye ?   

i.e. overweight, underweight, taxed organ systems, black face, bulimia, anorexia nervosa, starvation, drought, isolation, poverty, neglect

Every Possible Threat to You

insult, offense, trigger, surprise, shock and awe, overwhelming force

punched, hit, kicked, elbowed, kneed, slammed, tripped, thrown, submitted

slashed, stabbed, shot, bruised, battered, broken, beaten, bashed, blasted

internal bleeding, arterial, venous, capillary... broken heart

arrows, rocks, bullets, projectiles, cannonball, boiling oil, missiles, ordinance, shot, MIRVs!

slip on a banana peel, trip on a crack, fall on your face, broken hip, choking, suffocation

Old age, senescence, cellular replication

Diseases (x _____) (y categories) - 

    around 19,000 distinct diseases / (plus?) 10,000 rare ones

heart disease, cancer, infection, copd, stroke, alzheimer's, diabetes...

didn't look both ways, didn't wear a helmet

Hit by a bus, car crash, drunk driving, no seat belt, pushed off a cliff

whipped, burned, castrated, hanged, tattooed

Wrong place at wrong time, bad luck

Hit by an asteroid, hit by a home run, foul ball, baseball (sun in your eyes?)

Soda machine falls on you, piece of space junk

Earthquake the ground swallows you up, building falls down

Tidal wave, big wave surfing error, drowning, fall off a boat

Terrorist attack

first you get a rubber hose - then you stick it up your nose: turn it on, then you're gone!

hammer, nailgun, baseball bat, crushed in a box crusher, pulled into a wood-chipper

cigarrettes, cigars, secondhand smoke, pipes, chewing tobacco

Airplane malfunction, train derailment

your space station is losing cabin pressure!

dagger, axe,  halberd, mace, pike

silent treatment, emotional abuse, abandonment, anxiety, fear

bungee cord snap

ski into a tree, surf collision, rock-climbing miscalculation

mine collapse

caltrops, booby traps, punji sticks, landmine

Hurricane / cyclone, tornado / twister  

Flood, drought, starvation

fire, ice, burn to death, freeze, exposure, inclement weather

Killed by a vampire, eaten by a cannibal

get drunk, kidnapped, raped, tortured, murdered, cooked, eaten

Die in your sleep (killed by a dream?)

mysterious malevolent manipulation of your chi and prana

die laughing, a comedian that "kills"

Weight falls on you (weightlifting mishap)

Medication, drugs, interaction effects, side effects, addiction, overdose

Recklessness

Homicide, Suicide

self-neglect, and self-hatred, not caring

  smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, risk-taking, apathy 

  criminality, suicide by cop, giving in, giving up

bayonet, lance, spear, tomahawk, flail

nuclear, atomic, hydrogen, fission, fusion, bomb

Big Bang, little bang

A car crashes into your house

impaled, dismembered, decapitated

Heart attack

One of the 16 cancers from smoking (or emphysema)

Gun accident (oops, it was loaded, or oops, that wasn’t shooting blanks)

Poisoning

garroted

Blunt force trauma

Sword, knife, throwing star, grenade

Assassin

howitzers, mortars, automatic/ (sub) machine guns

tanks, flamethrowers, monsters, things that go bump in the night

Bomb

kraken

Starting a fisticuff fight

Driving on the wrong side of the street

Power outage, life support systems

Bee stings

Fall off a horse

Struck by a car

stoned to death, crushed, the rack, Iron Maiden, crucifixion

Black magic curse, voodoo pin cushion doll, bad juju

Karma, you pos

   thrown from a car

Giving up

Sadness

abducted by space-aliens and vivisected

Dangerous work (mining, military)

   mercenary, soldier of fortune

Criminals eliminating witnesses

your pancreas listed as an ingredient for a witch's cauldron

Crossing the wrong guy

Bit by a rabid dog

Cow-tipping

Holding your breath

black hole

Strenuous over-exertion

Attempting to exsanguinate, you silly vampire

Overeating, exploding (impacted colon)

Getting beat up (gangs, prison, outside sports arenas, etc.)

MMA, hockey body check

Sports hard foul

Pollution, air, water, soil, secondhand smoke

Running into a wall, a tree, a glass door

Gladiator competition, fight club

Hunting accident

Undertow 

Rogue waves

Running out of oxygen

The bends

Jousting mishap

parachute incorrectly packed

sucked into a plane engine, head lopped by helicopter blade

Wrestling, crossing the line

Looking at somebody the wrong way

Getting eaten alive (dropped into an alligator pit?)

Quicksand

Falling into the ice

Dehydration, salt water

Landslide, avalanche

Collateral damage

Sniper 

slit throat

Surgical strike

Blowing your top, fury

swarm of malarial mosquitoes

improperly prepared fugu

Sacrifice

Elevated risk, lowered self-defense, apathy

Suicidal tendencies

Hit by a train

Jump off a bridge

Out of your depth, biting more than you can chew

Unprepared

Thrill-seeking

Lion-taming and alligator wrestling and snake-handling

Bullfighting, toreador

Overconfidence

Bad lucks

Falling victim to a mass-murderer or serial killer

Falling asleep with a cigarette 

Guillotined

The sun explodes

Eaten by a lion

stung by a jellyfish

bit by shark

poisonous snakebite

poison arrow and blowgun

venomous spider

spy with a nerve agent

resentment, spite, malice, revenge

Long covid

Too many cigars

Fell into a volcano, hit by lava blob

Sunburned too often

getting lost in a snowstorm, blizzard

Ate the wrong kind of mushroom

Affliction too far from hospital, ambulance, care

Sedentary lifestyle, too much sitting, tv

Fireworks explosion mishap

your boat struck an iceberg

Asphyxiation, strangulation

Pain

Trained professionals only, do not attempt to do this on your own

Messing with powers you can’t possibly comprehend

Universal malice, nobody likes you, everybody hates you

Electrocution

Defenestration

frightened to death, horror

Overworked

Bored to death

Mortal combat

War

tickle torture

die of embarrassment

self-defense, preemptive self defense

yada yada, on and on, time itself

ignorance, stupidity

ischemic heart disease.  You know, ischemic.

left for dead

plasma gun death ray!, directed-energy weapon

all of the above

Pai Mei's five point palm exploding heart technique!

beheading, smash mouth, 5 finger death punch, nasal bone impact, knuckle to temple, uppercut to chin, throat chop, a move practiced a thousand times "that cannot fail"

and, of course, being born, being alive (everyone dies, eventually). tick tock

thingness, and decay