Silence

sigh lenten lentils

taxes in Texas, coyly erotic Iroquois, Nero shot an arrow, Shawn the Shawnee, Cher is part Cherokee?  Cindy, you sinful D!  (smelly Kelli, messy Jesse, and windy Cindy!)  dirty Kurt.   my instinct is to stink inside.   Outstinct?   toilet, toy let / lit, holy throne seat (seat with a hole in it, anyway), throne up

GOD, Glad Overjoyed, Delighted;    

          Grumpy Ornery (Dour, Dismal, Dust)

Don't say you're God;   Don't say you're not God (golden silencer)

Don't worry.   Is God a psycho killer?  Qu'est-ce  que c'est?

A unicorn with an erection

God is full of Himself (emptiness?)

dog-walking and God-walking!

feel free to flee, flea

hear here, see the sea, smell smelt, touch and attach, taste toast

I love the Louvre, but hate the heat

silent reflective introspection and sitting meditation:   enjoy the silence - Depeche Mode;  the sound of silence - Simon and Garfunkel;  4m 33s -John Cage

sigh, lint - I need a lint roller thing

calm, still, quiet, peaceful, undisturbed;  just Be

antichrist?  I'm not for or against him.   I believe he's dead.   So he doesn't care what I think.   I don't know Christ.   I know Christians.   I'm not anti-Christian, either.    I just think they're weird and wrong.   But I grew up, Catholic.   It's still fun to go to Mass, once in awhile, like comfort food, or to have a good think.  I don't call non-Christians antichrists.   But sometimes people think if you're not with us, you're against us. 

If you want to be biblical, you have to be good to merit heavenly reward.   But only God is good.   So you become God (the concept, role, identity, or even status).  God is love.  And Love "believes all things."  Yikes!  Is that even possible?  Like a quantum computer, believing different things, simultaneously, until they resolve - with time.   Anyway, love life.   Love all of it.   Even the delusions and delusional.

talking snakes, lions, goats, and lambs.   Lots of weirdness, symbolism, stuff to chew on, think about.  A little bird told me the crow will caw 3x.  I heard it through the grapevine.

Adam's atomism and Eve in the evening.    mourning in the morning.  knights at night.  No one works nine to noon?  Nuns?  Nein!

Journal Entry

 Good morning (good afternoon).  I slept in.  Re is awake.  She just went back to bed.  The sound machine is on.  White nose thing, or whatever, from Sharper Image.  On creek setting.  The traffic outside rolls by, with a kind of waves on the beach sound, if you tell your head to interpret it that way.   Except for the sirens.  We have incense burning, too.  “Money” scented incense (or something!).   Incense, like a candle, demarcates time.  And we all know time is money.  Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.   So flowers should be cheap, today.   Re just wants lillies, so I have to go look and fetch. 

We started reading Sophie’s World, aloud to each other.   We each read a chapter.   The third chapter awaits.   I like reading to Re.  For now, I can just sit (and write) while Re rests.  I’m charging my computer.   I can listen to music on my headphones, or read the WB (or both).  Or I can meditate, and focus on my breath.  Horizontal meditation?  I need to do pushups, and maybe I should eat my GNC protein powder.  The kitchen looks great.   I love going to the kitchen.   I could call my mom, too.   The blog is at 63.   Yesterday went up to 79.  It’s only 1:31p.  (page views).  I always say I got x.    I should be saying My Blog Got x (Page Views).   But people understand.  Right?  I got 80 today.  My blog got 80 page views today.   You know.  My library book has another week on it.  I want to finish it in time.   Maybe some kid needs it.   My goal is a hundred pages a day (for like 7 days), so I can stay in the time frame.  But I have an Economist, too.   Both demand my time and attention.   I’m writing.   We’ve started Sophie’s World.   Busy, busy!

The Hutchinson CK company the Economist was writing about is NOT my brother’s company.   It just sounds like it.   I have spitball shooters for Ben and Dec.   I doubt the parents will approve.  Poor Liz.   Her big brother died in his sleep, just the other night.  I’m not sure I ever met Dan.  Ugh.  

Sunday, but not sunny.   A bit overcast, which is nice, in Berkeley.  Today I will: read WB, check blog at 4p, maybe read some Economist or Sophie’s World, and listen to music.  I’ll eat some of Michael’s lentils, and maybe some GNC powder.   Do some pushups.   Artcast awaits, as well.  My day, by Jesse Teshara.   Happy Sunday.  No church.   I slept.  Candles,  incense, and creek noise fills the room, as the minutes tick by.   Re sleeps.  Blog views add up and accumulate.   634,590 is my Total.    Over half a million.   I’m turning into McDonald’s.  X served!

I wish I had people in my life who read my blog.   I tell myself I don’t need validation, but it’s nice to get commentary, opinions, reaction, in any case.  I mean, I’m not writing to the Void!!!

What do you think?   What’s good?  What sucks?

wp

Aides with AIDS, born in the sign of Cancer with cancer, having a cold in the cold, bird flu /flew, dead before dying, sick and tired of being sick and tired, infested festivals, weak this week, and healthy in thy hell?  ill in Illinois, and well on welfare, and sick with sickle cell disease, and Cyrus has a virus in her iris, while erections sometimes carry infections, and there's the wheeze disease, and the bibliophile's addiction to fiction, (meals are most real), and the government tries to prevent the production of poisonous toys.  Just breathe.   Don't seethe.  Health, wealth, stealth, not filth.   Infected and infested with incesticide.   Injured ninja.  Insane pain and plainly sane, like manatee sanity, whatever floats your boat, with comfort and ease, like Mumford in the trees.  Presto!  presta valves and pesto!  all better :-).   Allah, peanut butter sandwiches!    Pure, no sin, clean as a whistle, as holy as Swiss cheese!  The smell of sin upon sin replaced by cinnamon raisins?   vaseline, lysterine, and glycerine?

stressy Jesse, anxious Hank, nervous in the service, scared to share, a worried jury, in terror of error, frightened of fighting, and hating fate, that is, death by meth - without breath, but what if- on the mend, without end, eternally infernal, or infinitely bit, or always in Galway, forever pulling levers, or nonstop mopping (!).    Good gawd, Rod - we'll all be in the sod, you odd wad of a dirt clod!

4 ways of saying the same thing:

1. As Adi Da said, Reality is all the God there ever is.   God is reality, and reality god.   Reality is made of God.   God is love.  The universe loves you.   Or, at least, an indifferent universe doesn't hate you.  

2. Allah is all.   Aha!   The beneficent, the merciful.   BM.

3. Catholicity means 'universality', so in a way, everything is Christian, too.  Catholic means "universal."   (Mostly empty space, but whatever).   ST:   spacetime is saintly?  ("ooh God, you are so Big! -Monty Python).  TV is probably far more interesting than The Vast, excepting the odd astronomer or astrophysicist, I suppose.

4. It's all good!!  Respect!

initial conditions, one thing leads to another, great chain of being, lead and what follows, prime mover ex nihilo or something!

hierarchies and lower-archies.    superhuman and subhumans.   I'm only human.  You can Big Up yourself, or you can think of yourself as a gnat (Hi, Nat), at the same time, in fact.    Simultaneously Big and Small, looking at yourself from both perspectives.   There's always a bigger fish.  You are your own Universe (and can even imagine a universe inside your skull), yet you are a mote and a blip, too.   Just do you.  It is what it is.   Honey, I shrunk the kids.   And one of the kids is a monster!   Like a vampire in a vast void!   Drunk dry.

Luvvy

 War Angel

Be Good.   Only God is good.  So be God.   God is love.   I am.  

What’s love got to do with it?  Being a part of something greater than Self.

Be in love.   With love in your life.  Positive vibrations.

Respect, admiration, appreciation, kindness, fun, bliss, joy, pleasure.

Love is sexy, feels good, gives and takes, and makes life worth living.

When love is mutual, there is nothing greater.  

Mutual affection, union and unity and shared experience,

Caring for someone, being cared for, in a dismal, indifferent world (if not Universe)

Grokking deeply the experience and being of another, with compassion

Love is a way of life, a drug, the meaning and purpose of life.

Don’t worry be happy.   It’s all good.

wp

witches making widgets in Wichita

wise wizards like Wozniak

a warlock with a gory cock broke my oar lock

axolotl questions, Abyssinia (I'll be seein' ya), bunny snowshoes (buenos noches)

bang bang, she shot me down, from Bangkok to Bangladesh

I'm kind, crabs are shellfish; when I seafood, I eat it

the clock was hungry?  it went back four seconds

why are you throwing your clock out the window? to see time fly

time flies when you're having fun;  thyme woks

   time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana

goldfish go to war in a tank

I adore jars, when the door is ajar

they arrested the devil- they got him on possession

religious leaders have altar egos

the fish in my beverage is gill-tea, but Lincoln is in a cent

 sic semper tyrannis - thus always to tyrants;  tyrannosaurus rex? extinct!  did you know there is also an angelosaurus?  (also, alas, extinct);  at least there's still the sanity of the manatee;  there's a daemonosaur, but not a satanosaurus or devilosaurus...  monty the monster is from a kid's book;  like, say, Devan the devil, or Damon the demon, or evil Neville, or wicked Rick.   Some think it's sane to sin.   Take your pick, says Dick.   Watch out for the beastly priests, like monstrous Don, or wicked Mick, you dopy pope, playing the holy soul role, the best and most blessed, but only fake-sacred, like normal Norman, a RC dude (rude crude)

Caitlin and Satan, revels with the devil, like a corrupt puppet, or the robotically erotic, having sex with Dexter.   Not even in the same league as Rodríguez.   With Smith, but without clout, without a doubt.

even if you push the envelope, it remains stationery

better than daisies on a piano?  tulips on an organ

are you sure you're an ion?  yes, I'm positive!

the neutron's bill for lunch was ripped by the waiter:  For you? no charge!

Elect Ron!  no, he's a cynic.   You know, negative.

geometry isn't pointless, but the best lines are in Drama class

it's about time I went to History class, but Geography is taking place

I present to you your future as a pasta chef!

Anthony the truck driver?  rig a Tony

propane and anti-pain, protein and 6-14s

fornicating tunafish; ten ants with antennas

fine ants into finance, bugs into buggery, insects in sex

you can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish

so I sew so-so.   So what?  You knit like a nitwit, you twit!

Sorry, you're the best in the west at completing quests, while the world rests

I tested best at having zest for guests (not pests)

I guessed which guests are in my nest

ingesting JessT?   surely, you jest. (yams? yum!)

I don't get the gist of jousting - is it just? 

just juiced, now I'm powerful

mm, apples from Appalachia, oranges from Orange County

get in trouble.  good trouble.  necessary trouble.   -John Lewis

type A in Tai Pei. (and don't forget Thai pay!)

Cumbia in Columbia and Cambodia

power outage outrage

transcript and transexuals in crypts?!

weak end on the weekend - vs. Ronnie Coleman's square butt

yada yada

dumb stupid idiotic retarded slow dim-witted moronic fool

unwise ignorant uneducated incurious apathetic imbecile

AND

bored, boring, uncaring, lazing in torpid sloth

evil, wicked, cruel, brutal, savage, ruthless, mean, vicious, spiteful thing

of anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, menace, ire, spite, malice, and revenge

devil demon of diabolical depraved darkness death destruction and despair

monster beast creature things

let there be light!  metaphor for clarity, understanding, and enlightenment

knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth, omniscience

I see the light!  conscious light?!?

don't be insane, stupid, and absurd

keep it realz

or do whatever floats your boat, if that's how you roll

absurd can be funny

Sarah Silverman said,  Jesus is coming back - I mean, cumming on my back

    it was only water!  but he turned it into cum

start some static with the radio tuned to static

less monism and mormonism, more or less

church of jeezus cryst of former night sinners

LL cool J, loco lunatic mad crazy insane 

kookoo nuts for cocoa nuts

kokonutz;     bad, barmy and daft

ha

rich craft not witchcraft!

Burundi has the lowest GDP per capita: $261 a person per year

    less than a dollar a day (average!)

while Elon has $750B

Stephen King eats an It's-It

Who is in the World Health Organization?

What is the what?  Eggers listens to The Band and The Who

Where's Waldo?  He get's around;  he's been around the block, in Walden Pond even

Here and there; to and fro; out and about: hither and yon, and everywhere in between! :-)

When is now?  When was then?  I have a now and later now and then, but few in the future

Why go to the Y?  Why ask why.   Just because.  Because it is there.

How are you, Howard?  howling howdy at Huell Howser! 

howzitgoin'?  goin' goin' gone!

Reality is all the God there ever is, so God is Reality, which is spacetime, ST, like fish in water - how's the water?   outside of spacetime?  before the Big Bang?  prior to the Universe?

here, there, everywhere, always and forever, now, then, before, after, internal, external

Anywhere and anywhen, always and everywhere, before time and after the end of time, if time can end, whatever time is....  here and now, HAN, prior and post, always already, never not -

what is real?  "the really real" can be fake..  virtual and actual R

space and time have coordinates (you can query google for your latitude and longitude)

we go to movies and experience the past, like historians reading old newspapers

we imagine the future, and make our dreams real

Perfekto

Prr fección

said the cool cat-

 Perfection is rare.   Only at the Olympics, or in one’s own mind - and most of us are pretty hard on ourselves.  Some people strive for an A+, or a 1600 SAT, or, in other words, no mistakes.  There exists an aphorism, strive for improvement, not perfection.   Judge yourself, not others, and always seek a personal best.  World records exist to be broken.   But everybody can be just as competitive.   And sometimes, you can always get better, improve, exceed expectations, and push yourself to and through your limits.  Always be your best is a tall order, but why expect anything less?  Especially, if you step into the shoes of a God!  God makes no mistakes, they say.    Even the apparently flawed can turn out to be part of the process of growth.   Growth is Godly, so never fear mistakes.   The more mistakes, the more improvement.   Don’t shy away from failure, mistakes, imperfection.   Indeed, excellence demands it.  

Of By and For

Gods, Goddesses, Deities of all stripes 

God’s Blog?

A blog of by and for God - for gods, for deities, and for holy men and women,  And for Everyone Else, too, sinners and saints, a timeless record of. goodness, holiness, virtue, happiness, bliss, contentment, peace, and satisfaction.   Rules to live by and good advice, timeless wisdom, suffused with Love.

I AM love, and I love Myself, You, Everybody (in heaven or even in hell).    God loves the sinners, and is a source of Mercy and Grace.   The All Eternity thing is just a scare tactic.   You are forgiven as soon as you feel gulity, are sorry, have regret, and repent.  Mercy is withholding deserved punishment, and grace is bestowing undeserved blessing. 

One man’s hell is another man’s heaven.  Just as earth has different neighborhoods and countries, Heaven has multiple varieties, which you can travel between, staying in for as long as you like.   Heaven bestows immortality, and there is no aging there.  You can choose what age and appearance you’d like to have.  

Space is infinite, and there are as many heavens as there are members of the heavenly host.  You can visit and try them all.   Yes, there is sex, drugs, lin addition to the libraries, movies, restaurants, and, of course, churches.   There are video games (very lifelike) to do all your vice in.  The music scene is off the chain.   The schools are really fun.  

Everybody is cool in heaven.    There is no fighting.  You can step in each other’s shoes, and be whoever you want.  All your dreams are fulfilled.  You can get anything you want.   You can sleep in heaven, and dream heavenly dreams, which you can then actually go to, when you wake.   You can live on earth, as a billionaire.  You can read everything ever written.  You can write your own books.   You can watch all the tv, listen to all the music, and eat every cuisine.   You can compete in Body-building, or Olympic anything.   See every movie.  

You have access to Omniscience.   A couple million years, you start to grok things.   You talk to everybody, and you meditate, and you do every job.  You become Great and Big.  

You can die, and then be reborn in a certain time and place, at a certain age.    With perfect memory.   Or you can turn off pain, and regenerate limbs and organs, say.   You can teleport.  You can make any movie real.  You can try all the religions.  Speak all the languages.  You can do absolutely Nothing, like a rock on heroin, for thousands of years.

Enjoy.

wordplay:  NOT how come, but 'why';  turkeys are done, people are finished;  men sweat, women perspire;  men wear underwear, women panties :-)

General Specific and Lieutenant Vague;  Mr. Clean and Mrs Fields;  Mr. Coffee and Miss Butterworth;  Mother's cookies and Dad's root beer;  Papa John's and Papa Murphy's;  Mother Theresa and Baby Face;  Dr. Pepper and Nurse Salt.   Dr. Pepper and jalapeño poppers.   Salton sea and sea salt.   Uncle Ben's rice and Aunt Jemima syrup, Auntie Anne's pretzels.   Oh brother, you're listening to Sista Soulja?   Twisted Sister, mister.   Brother Malcolm and Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.   Dr. Scholl's and Nurse Ratchett.

GOD:   Gives Orders, Decrees

no-self;  I'm a million different people from one day to the next; 10,000 maniacs;  I am legion;  god is 'we';  x-men changelings, morphs, and shape-shifters.   Thespian: I was only ACTING!  Plural and multiple, appearances, roles, presentation.    Possessed, occupied, "stepped-into."   Mini-me and the many-me's, elves and selves, better angels, sleepwalking.   Young/ old, clothes, hair, attitude, accent, plastic surgery, applications, wigs, body type (skinny, obese, muscular)...  Me and "my better half."   Corporate self (e.g. borg).   

"know thyself" -delphic maxim

I am my body (only, merely, entirely).   I am not my name.   Aging, changing.   In flux.  I am not a soul.   Or sol.  Or sole.   I am not the skin of my foot, or a kind of fish.   I am what I eat, less what I excrete.   Amen.

My name happens to be Jesse Lawrence Teshara, although I was adopted, and my birthparents were Annette V. Riddle and Richard Stollnitz (I believe, think, maybe).   I called myself Jester at scout camp, once.   Names, shnames.  Animals don't have names.  A rose is still a rose by any other name.  I don't care, therefore, what you call me.  I am what I am.

what I am is what I am is what you are, or what?

negatives and positives

-

4 aspects of Unknowing:

   1. (stupid, retarded, dumb), foolish/ unwise

   2. mentally ill (psychotic, delusional - e.g.. hearing things, seeing things, believing things) mad crazy insane lunatic (irrational, dangerous, to self and/ or others)

(schizophrenia is one of "more than 200 types of mental illness" - Alexa)

   3. (ignorant, incurious, apathetic-   doesn't know and doesn't care), not engaged, doesn't research, generate questions, isn't motivated to discover truth, unscientific, superstitious

   4. (confused, misinformed)

(imaginary, unreal, false, incorrect, wrong, untrue) (lies, misinformation, disinformation)

malicious, cruel, hostile, obedient, conformist

+

intelligent, curious, educated, informed, wise, sane, engaged, kind, compassionate, helpful, virtuous, with integrity, friendly, gratitude, love

retarded genius

ee cummings and Van Gough goings

nutritious, delicious, and malicious!

farted retarded, you should fart smart

vent the tent, and the stinky sink

yelling about smells of fragrances of dalliances

tasty testes? ew.   that kind of thing makes me testy.

Ida's ideas and Kant's concepts and girl-world

10 - cent words used in a 20 cent paradigm

    Be Good

sick, fragile, and weak;  healthy, hearty and hale, strong, fit, well, and sane

beer and ale?   root beer and ginger ale, please

latkes with your vodka

rice was all the rage during the last ice age

did you hear about the chainsaw guy who cut off his entire left side?

     he's all right now (ha)

left behind, right back, toe (theory of everything), the nose knows

ICE is intelligent curious educated;  informed compassionate engaged (!!). immigration and customs enforcement on thin ice?  competing in the O-limp-icks?  ice ice baby

internal combustion engine, in case of emergency

a geranium in your cranium

there's heaven on earth and hell on earth, but no Afterlife (good, bad, or neutral).  Right??   Life goes on.  Your specific life doesn't.   That's what I believe.

I don't believe Jesus' bubbish pet Sasquatch is anally-raping Gavin Newsome (don't ask)

one of my favorite, formative memories (blast from the past!):   the insanely intense vibe from the yellow beetle (car) with exposed engine at Camp Royaneh blasting AC/DC (back in black) on its stereo, when I was a kid, in the 70's, on the parade ground, beneath the admin building. (!!!!!), along with the Vuarnets I found.   

Yo, Where You At?

 Jesse is 

🔲  In               please knock           do not disturb

🔲 Out:

    Berkeley 

            Library      Central     THPSouth       West       North       Claremont    

            Cal reading room     GTU        Back yard, outside, at table

            Sacto Market       USLiquors          Arab mkt     King Kebab     Trader Joe’s

            Walking dogs       BklyBowl       BBWest    Safeway    Andronico’s    BK/DQ

            KP              Ace / OSH           WF              Target          Haircut       Indian   

            Nation’s     LLVegi-House      Thai         Taco Truck-   Manantial/  Sinaloa/ The Bay's

            Taqueria     Pho      Burmese     Ethiopian     RiceTriangles      BongoBurger

            McDonald’s         Walgreen’s     Sushi Secrets      Sushinista         Cal campus

            Goodwill              Chipotle.       Afghan Burrito       Subway/ Ike’s      Deli        

            Trek store            Indian rRock      Jack-in-box      Tilden Park       Oak’s Jewelers

            Ikea       REI         Emeryville.         El Cerrito          Starbuck’s        Bigotes

            Friend’s (Quaker)       Buddhist       Jewish      Unitarian     Xian scientist     Catholic

            pastafarian (ministeroni answering to a higher collandering says r'amen)  

            

    Oakland

             KP           Donuts         Noah’s        Round Table

    San Francisco

             Mom's        Bro's        GGPark

    Portland   (Sara Pierre Augie Hugo)        

    Benicia. (Teresa & Johnny’s)

    San Leandro (Rover and JS&M's)

Various, assorted:    movies,     San Pablo park     SF walk.      Causeway classic?

alliterative noshing -

ll, long life;  mm, mtn mike's; tt, taco truck; ss, subway sandwiches/ sushi secrets; kk, king kebab; bb, Berkeley bowl, bongo burger; ff, Foster's freeze

in another dimension, lol