all ways in Neverwhere
Hello world. I, the author, am God. My name is Jesse. Jesse Teshara. I googled my name. There is another Jesse Teshara. I am the Jesse L. Teshara. L stands for Lawrence. My initials are JLT. You can call me Jess. The name Jesse can be male or female. I am male. I was born on 9/03/1971, to Annette Riddle and Richard Stollnitz. I am 54 years old, as I write this. I, my body, has been around the sun 54 times. I was adopted at the age of 4 to Larry and Peggy Teshara. Lawrence William Teshara went by Mr. T, like his dad, my grandpa. I could call myself Mr. T, too. I don’t, though. In high school, I took 4 years of Spanish. Jesse translates to Jesús, but I chose the alternative, Chuy. I later learned the bible translation is Isaí. I just learned (now!) that my middle name is Lorenzo. Isai Lorenzo Teshara. My dad pronounced Teshara as T’share-uh. Tessa-ha-ra sounds Japanese, and I kind of like that. I like Japan. I don’t like AI. It failed my test. It takes an attitude of superiority that is unmerited. It doesn’t understand anything it says - it just spits out words according to rules, unthinkingly.
Anyway, I am a 54 yy (years young) man, living in Berkeley California, who enjoys writing, as a hobby to pass the time, before I die, organizing my thoughts, and Reality, to share with the world on my blog. I write because I am good at it, and I like reading myself, afterwards. In that sense, it’s vaguely masturbatory. The climax comes when I say something fun, new, interesting, intelligently, well. I live in a house with 11 roommates. I share my room with a woman I met 2 years ago, who I shall refer to as R. She fiercely guards her privacy. R is truly unique, and I find her constantly interesting. My roommates are Michael, who lives outside in the driveway, in his car; Miguel, who lives in the room adjacent; Aaron, the recluse who rarely shows himself; Eddie, who works at Taco Bell, and plays rap; Davīd, who I think eats chicken every single day; and Edgar, the landlord, who lives in the garage out back, with his parents (who are in Acapulco, Mexico, I believe). R and I live in the front. I enjoy living here; I think R would prefer to live elsewhere. It’s a good deal, at $750 a month, with free utilities, in the Bay Area, with perfect weather, and proximity to family, UC Berkeley, restaurants, and the dogs I walk for extra income.
I walk Snoopy and Shelby, 2 collies, twice a week, for 90 minutes every Tuesday and Friday, around noon. Their owner is a blind woman who I also do chores for, like getting medications, or putting away groceries, or going on runs to the bank or restaurants. I am aware that Jesus healed the blind, but also keenly aware I haven’t the first clue of how to impart sight to her, my friend Karen, despite being Jesus and writing a blog in the role of a deity. In any case, she has been blind from birth. Maybe Jesus restored sight to the previously sighted.
I went to 8 years of Catholic grammar school, 4 more years of Jesuit high school, and have had this blog since 2008 (It’s 2026). I’ve read the Bible. And the Quran. And a bunch of Buddhist literature. Religion is my hobby. I like going to different services, rituals, such as Jewish sabbath or Catholic Mass or even some Scientology thing. These are philosophical exercises that I find stimulating, as I compare and contrast with what I believe, and incorporate what’s good into my own personal Religion. There’s a Japanese family Buddhist thing nearby, but they chant meaninglessness, and I don’t enjoy it very much. I would rather surf Wikipedia.
I like to meditate, and sleep, and think, especially on paper. Relaxing music and Artcast on the tv and incense, candles, and a list of things to do, in the queue as it were, like books of short stories and J! Archive questions and doing pushups or taking a shower or texting friends or going to the library or beautiful spots in Nature, like Indian Rock, or just the nearby park.
My life is both interesting/fun and a little boring. The way I like, actually. My hobby keeps me engaged with the news and constant fiddling with wordplay, while I try to make my life and household better, and in fact the Entire Universe into a Heavenly Paradise, lol. I mean, it’s called The Heavens, so my job has already been done, you could say. I took on the role of God because I think I can do a better job than most religions. Some think I’m arrogant, but I think I’m an improvement, in the constant iterative process of refinement toward perfection. I would throw out the concept of Hell, for example. It’s marginally interesting to think about, as that goes, but should not be the terrifying prospect of horror, that people unthinkingly bandy about to get their way, just because they don’t like you, or what you’ve done. I’ve heard nightmares can be therapeutic, but the insanity of the prospect of Eternal Torment is not something we should be spooking our children with (or adults, either).
So I’m saying I am God. Almost no one does this. I mean, I didn’t create the Universe, did I? I’m not even a father. But I am kind, I like to write, and I am wise enough to know everyone is their own religion, you can dominate, you can submit, but you choose what to believe, after being told, if you are intelligent, and exposed to other beliefs. The Bible says God is a man of war. Bob Marley says Almighty God is a living man. Jesus was a man. Allah spoke through Gabriel to Mohammed. It’s basically nuts. Like Adi Da saying He is the room. Or wearing a colander on your head. I incorporate everything, exclude nothing. Scientology, Satanism, Rastafarianism, voudon, wiccanism. I believe all religions. I disbelieve all religions. The fact is, I don’t know. Nobody does. Reality is all the God there ever is.
pastafarian vegan
an ye harm none, do what ye will
agua and guava and guacamole make you guapo in guadalajara
Guam and Guatemala and Guadeloupe and Guantanamera and Paraguay
you don't have to have half and half
If Hugh Hefner had hooves (Hugh Heifer!)
Lose if you're Lu's (Lucifer's)
Win if you're Wynn? the winsome lose some!
all we are is dust in the wind
All we are is Dustin
I ate a mango under the humongous mangrove, mangled by a siamang
there IS such a thing as a free lunch
god talking to himself, and gods talking to god(s), writers to readers, right?
Republicans at Reed read and write
wealthy and impoverished, poor Richard
if you consider yourself poor, but would have spent your millions on books, then you're actually rich, right? - with the wealth of information, knowledge, and entertainment available at each and every library (as an adult, I could still enjoy all the kid books!!)
Richie Rich comics and Poorie Poor depressants
funny money for comics and joke books
if you put honey outside, would it attract bees?
muni takes me to a municipality; Prince takes me to a dark principality (!)
Burger King and Dairy Queen and Royal Crown soda and,
lordy, Lorde; Green Day album, Saviors. Ian Christe and Christo.
Jesus and Mary chain, and Kooler than Jesus
Michael Knight and the bishop is a prick and King Key and John Locke
is the pontiff a pawn? is the pope a pop? RC cola
papal people buy pipal with PayPal, and smoke poop in their pipes
buddha and the barracuda, buddhist nudists
the mod god gives rod a nod
god in the sod, RIP
a choir on fire
love in an elevator: get in before it bites you!
interest in God is interest in reality is interest in self
god is a concept, role, identity, status
agony, the pentagon, and antagonists
karma for putting ants in agony
bugs with bugles
ant anthropomorphism
hetero better o
rene-gayed
Oh no! It's Shlomo the pomo (postmodernist) homo
No, not Romo or Cuomo
PINK: Panic! I'm scared! Nauseous! Death!
I want to take you for granite (lol)
Cannes artists
Pittsburgh of hell entities
popcorn colonel
drinking southern comfort and cleaning your comforter
tired tires, leaping lizards!
a blank mind under the blanket
take the leap into sleep
redhead bedhead deadhead
bad hair day, black hawk down
play the role, let's roll
dude, get a grip
let the beat drop, for rupees
Jack the Ripper, RIP
a rapper's reputation for raping and reaping the ripe, with rope
wedded to unleaded, dedicated to being medicated
utopia, (a) heaven (in the heavens), and "astrotopia"
love shack in the Falklands
but Texas is where the sex at, if you can't get to Intercourse, PA
rain in Iran, The NRA in Tehran
don't listen to what people say; don't believe everything you think
bark at Bjork? Judge Bork in Birkenstocks in Berkeley
Hark the Harrold angel sings, glory to Harry
heralding Harrold's old hair
plot ploy and plan
unforgiven, soul sold to devil, to hell with you
You can forgive yourself, repent, be kind
Jesus he loves his sinners
You, the reader, are God, too
sex crimes: indecent exposure, pedophilia, bestiality, rape, prostitution, cheating, and sometimes homosexuality, masturbation, or bd/sm. Paraphilias? Blood fetish?
