Few in church

 Humanity’s Future

Elon wants us to be a space-faring species.   Inspired from things like Star Wars and Star Trek.   Space is a harsh, unwelcoming environment.   Its main feature is It is utterly, incomprehensibly,  Vast.   Massively, insanely, stupidly Vast.  The closest exoplanets themselves are impossible.         The space between.   The “heavens” are cold, dark, requiring immense speed to traverse, and therefore threatened by the tiniest particles, that could collide with our expensive craft, en route.   Requiring so much time as to be utterly boring, in the inhuman confinement of a craft, that it seems would require robotic, not human, control.  Compared to Space, Earth IS Heaven.

If only we could move our star and planet, together, toward our (destination?).    Presumably we’d need the moon, too.

We are racing through space already.   They say everything is getting further away, though.   Space, like a rising, expanding bread loaf.   But some things are attracting.

En route.  Avatar (movIe) scenario?   Something to keep minds occupied.  

And other needs.

Good food?  Exercise?  Worlds of information, virtual worlds.   Food, food, food.  Hungry.

Anyway.    I’m not theoretical physicist.    I don’t know the possibilities, scientific and technological.   I’m just intimidated by the Vast.   Seems like the priority should be Human Life on Earth.  

Is it possible?   Is it worth the time, money, effort?  Will the computers generate viable answer(s)?  

Lots of time to think of Heaven.   Perfection.   Bliss.  Longevity.  Meaning.  

Beyond just a blowjob robot.  

All the movies, books, music, internet, experience.

Sex, nature, hiking, swimming, surfing, rock climbing, varieties of religious experience, drugs, bodybuilding, restaurants, raising families, conversation, education, debate, imagination, thinking, philosophy, writing, exploration, sleep, dreaming, and for those inclined, battle, justice.   Every manner of service, employment, invention.   Roles to play.

Every mind is its own world.   From the littlest bug to the biggest whale.  Let love rule.  

My life is my blog, reading, trivia, dog-walking, eating, exercise, rest, movies, music, and variety, keeping busy, doing different things, entering different worlds (like books), and occasional travel.   Some conversation, of course.  Meditation, medication.   

It’s pretty simple:  We live, we die, that’s it.   Do what you want.   Be good.  

Can’t know people.   Possessed.   Roles.  Situations.   Identity is a farce.  

Who am I?   What did I hear:  we are what we imagine others think we are?

We’re actors on the world stage.   We choose our roles.    Or sometimes, anyway.   

I imagined my family thought I was a savage carnivore, when I ate all that skirt steak at my grandparents, when I was little.   It was freaking delicious!   Sometimes I drool about it, 50 years later.   They kept serving me more.  Then again, I shouldn't indulge TOO much, because the meat industry is freaking heinous, and it's probably healthier, anyway, to eat veggie.   I bought kachava, and I like meals like spicy tofu thai, and I read The Omnivore's Dilemma, so "moderation in all things."   I don't think I could or should go fully veg.   I've had it a couple times.  Greasy, coated in flour, slightly crispy.  Yum.   I was also voted Most Kind, in grammar school.   

We are our bodies.   Our gender.   Job.  Sexuality.  Our past.   The places we go, we’ve been.   The books we’ve read.   Influences, teachers, movies.    Some say we are imaginary, we don’t exist, like physicists, or buddhists, or nihilists.   I (my DNA) could’ve been in another culture, family, religions.   I could be in relationships with a menu of millions, or more.  Or is it fate?  Is there no free will?   I walk my dogs through a cloud of possibility.   I could have gone to any number of schools.   I could live anywhere.  I could do a zillion things tomorrow.   

From zero to zillion.  Zilch to infinity.   Zz.    Zz top and sleeping and nullibiety to Allah.   Flies buzz.   Mosquitos to mosques.   A mosquito, my libido.  Hey!

What could I do tomorrow.   Die.   Wake.  Dream.  Read, watch, listen, eat, exercise, sleep, write, talk, create.   What do I create?  Like maybe origami, or muscle.   Make money.   Serve, be of service, get things done, busy busy.  Work, and play.   Laugh, listen to comedy.  Watch porn, masturbate, cum.  You know, the usual.  Go to a restaurant.   Order something new, or maybe a favorite.  Make life fun, stay in heaven, avoid hell.  Stay informed, read the news, Wikipedia, The Economist, 1440 email.   Sit.   Name things.  Ponder my navel.   Well, you know, my breath, in and out, being alive.   

Mortality.

No one lives forever.   You can be a God, a human, a demon, an angel, a saint…   You’ll die, like everyone else.  I was thinking, is a Saint better than a God?   God’s are warriors, saints are good, virtuous.    It is better to stay out of a fight, I think.  Like, not even acrimonious debate, or going to court, or -especially- combat.   Just let it be.  If you step out of the situation, you can probably relate.  You know, empathize.  

What are we all doing?  Making a living.   Getting by.   Trying to be who we want to be.   To live up to expectations, or have integrity, or do right by others, by God.  Fighting evil, like prayer warriors, or spiritual combat, maybe politics, or police work, or the other polii (politesse).   Don’t be rude.  Respect.

Pleasure, a little treasure.  To quote Depeche Mode.  Do unto others as you would have them do to you.   Also, the inverse.   Don’t do to others, just as you wouldn’t have done to yourself.   And a corollary:  Don’t necessarily do either;  people have different tastes - George Bernard Shaw.  And, as a few have said, “It’s all good.”  (!?!)

What is evil?  Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good.   It’s your parents, your conscience, the law, and God.   Opinion, basically.   My roommate in college said morality was based on pleasure or pain.   Which is obviously a big part of it.  Situational ethics is a thing.  The greatest good for the greatest number, I forgot what that is (utilitarianism, thank you internet).  And of course, Self, the primary thing.  Look out for number One.   Freedom, happiness, survival.   Protect your neck.   Staying alive, staying alive.   Eudemonia, human-flourishing (no, not floor polishing, flourishing).   We’re all just animals.  From bugs to whales.  We all want to live.   From the littlest baby to the biggest VIP, we are all tools of the conspiracy! -Dead Milkmen (I think they were kidding).  We all want the Good Life, that is to say. 

Bad words?  Like ass, bitch, cunt, dick, fuck, pussy, and shit.  Look, I even alphabetized them.  The n-word, of course.  Puta verga chingon culo, o así.   Yada yada.  It’s all just noise.   Good noise and Bad noise.   I ain’t tryin’ to hear that!   The tv is just light?   Well, kind of.   But not really.   Static is seriously annoying, of course.  BART can be especially grating sound (strident), at times.   I don’t like commercials, usually.   I don’t like pain.  Like everybody else.   There are some evil smells.  A lawyer might say crime is evil.   Some things are more heinous than others.  Stealing a candy bar is not torturing a baby.   It’s not binary.   Good and Evil, that is.   Greatest Good and greatest evil?  Everyone in their own heaven, or private hell.   Most of us are pretty much the same.  But MY heaven may not be yours.  Just like one person's trash is another's treasure.

10 minute timer

 

10:00

Breathing Mindfulness

 Meditation

Sit.   Cross-legged, or chair.   Turn off stimulus.  That's hard for me.   I like my music.  Set 10 minute timer.  Concentrate on breathing.  Inhale, exhale, in and out.   Be aware of your breathing.   Note your mind, whatever pops up.   Return to focus on your breath.   In and out, inhale and exhale.   Nose, and mouth.   Fast or slow.  It's all good.   See, hear, smell, taste, touch.  Associations.    Distractions.   But you can analyze what your breath looks like, sounds like, smells like, feels like.  Your breath is like food.  Your body is ingesting the gaseous air, just like solid food, or liquid water.   The oxygen, specifically.   The nitrogen (78% of what you're breathing) just goes right back out.   You are in chemical exchange with plants.   Even this thought was kind of a distraction.  Return to breath.  It will take many iterations to stay joyfully focused with single-pointed concentration.  You might want to close your eyes, or focus in front of your nose?  It can be difficult to turn your mind "off".   I habitually, almost automatically, name things I see.  Other external things, like smells, the feeling of my clothes, what I'm sitting on, classifying everything, like sounds or odors or all the objects in front of me, and tangents about their purpose, origin, etc.   Curtains, desk, books.   Curtains makes me think of the phrase "curtains for you" or Kurt Cobain.  The word "diaphanous".   How did they automate the stitching.   What things are made of.   How old they are.  Where they were made.  Yada yada.   Books are knowledge and wisdom, in concentrated form, that take less time to read than they took to write.   Facets of the diamond, for others' Reality, knowledge, experience, imagination.   Dead authors "live" on, through their works.   By reading them, they come back to life, kind of.  Many books are "immortality projects".    Like dreams, warning of nightmares, and guides to utopia.  Vicarious experience, depth of understanding.   And loads of fun, ways of escape, learning, how to write, think, and be.   The mind needs things to chew on, too.   Feed your head.

Just reset the timer.    You want to get to 10 minutes of glorious stillness of mind, even beyond.   They say it's a prerequisite to Nirvana.   Stick to it.

Heads or Tails

Abortion, revisited

Killing your baby, basically, before birth.   Is it like cutting your hair?  Or, is it snuffing an innocent, heavenly being?  People may be like rocks, philosophically speaking, just objects - but a hundred years or whatever of LIFE, is certainly nothing to sneeze at.  Denying your own flesh and blood the opportunity to LIVE, in all it’s ups and downs, glory and error, seems to me to be irreconcilable with self-regard, irreversible, shameful, if not evil.   The virtue of adoption far outweighs the cons of birthing pain, in my book.   You want to prove you’re a bad ass, who killed her own child, for street cred?  Or maybe snipping a pea from the pod seems far less excruciating than pushing out a bowling ball, as it were.  Or, Nature is red in tooth and claw, and life is hell, and life isn’t worth living in the first place, so you’re doing your child a favor?  I mean, you just KNOW it’s a little piece of shit, future Hitler or something, and you’d be doing society a favor, too.  OR….  It’s not a human (yet).   It’s an inconvenience, a clump of cells, a blob of tissue, like the germs you wash off your skin every time you take a shower.  So it goes.  Whatever.   Life is meaningless, anyway.   Unless your baby is a future president, Buddha, deity, or “happily ever after” story (can you predict?).

Let’s dive into that, more.    What lives have the most merit, and deserve to live, in the first place?  People who will fall in love, and make their partner happy, is one answer.   Outstanding servants of society, like say a political leader or pope or scientist who cures cancer, or something.  I’d like to think authors and philosophers contribute to social well-being, just as scientists reveal truth.   Comedians rank up there, for me.   If you ease the pain, make life fun, you get a pass.  On the other hand, I’m not saying there are people who would’ve been better off dead, or will be detrimental to society, or too unimportant to matter (like, say, a mindless agglomeration of a few cells).   Is pruning a bush the same thing?  I like people more than bushes.  I’m not sure what to say.   A lot can influence the outcome of a blank slate like your bouncy baby boy or darling princess.  The thing is pretty much out of your control.  Flip a coin. 

objection!  obstetrics is not about objects!  objective is to be objective.  Everything is a thing.  good things and evil things? or, all just neutral matter, like Matt the mad hatter;  thinking about thing-king.   What's the matter with you?  huh?

rime and thyme, rhyme time:  secular sex and divine dining, food boo'd and beard cheered, hairy and scary, comfort from Mumford, magically pelagic, trite bites, delicious and nutritious, chow on cow, eat meat, ingest pests, consume whom?  fine dining with wine, sleep deeply, the best rest, relax with the facts, enjoy your toys, celebrate being celibate, mirth on a birthday on earth day, read about deeds, watch your crotch, protect your neck, attack back, aikido libido... be happy in your nappy says Pappy, love the doves, kiss your miss, I triple dog dare you to go fuck a duck, nevermind said the Buddhist, stream of consciousness in my sociological socks, awake aware alert, asleep oblivious gone, la la land and the law of the land, lol.  Laos police, Copernicus the copulating cop, and Sharif the sheriff.  Rock the casbah with asthma.

who am I

what am I

where am I

when is this?

why am I doing this?

how are you

which am I?

huh?

I recently bought Kachava.   I like it.   I got coffee flavor.  Much much better than the mushroom coffee I've been getting.   And Jelly Bellies.  Also good.  30 flavors, 3 pounds.  I'm listening to Paul Oakenfold on my new Bose headphones.   Life is good.   I trimmed my beard.  I got new shoes from REI, and some coasters from Goodwill.   The house needs a new fridge/freezer.   Mike is on that, I think.  Our popsicles melted.   I'm visiting my mom in SF this Friday.  I gave Rhee a carton of cigarettes.  $75.   10 packs.  Seneca.  Cheapest in town.  If I don't just douse myself in a cold shower, I'd like to buy a pass to go to one of Berkeley's public pools.   You know, free swim.  I'm not into laps, really.   I just wanna splash around in the sun and enjoy the water.  I have a beach towel.   The reclining chair I found and brought back home with me has been rejected for being torn and used.   Oh well.   I thought it was cool.   At the Rialto, I want to see the Cat video fest '26 coming up, as well as the Grateful Dead concert.   I always wanted to go to one of those.   It was big among my crowd, growing up.  Class of '89!  Go cats!  I bought a pair of ergonomic pillows - I hope they help with my drool situation (from clozapine), as well as my hearing.    By that, I mean the last 3 days I've woken with something like "swimmer's ear" in my right ear, that doesn't just shake loose.   Yesterday, I was hoping and trying to pop the bubble or whatever most of the day.   It was disturbing.  Riding my bike impaired with some added anxiety.  I tugged on my earlobe, pressed behind my ear, and messed with the pressure with my finger, until it actually went away (WHILE I was on the phone to Kaiser!).  Plus, my junk plumbing is haywire, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, Kelli and I both  have new backpacks, and I'm always busy with reading, whether trivia or Economist.   Just finished The Washington Book, by Carlos Lozada.   I checked out 3 movie dvd's from the local branch library.   I do a lot of running around on my bike to get stuff for K and I.  Daily exercise, like pushups, planks, shakes, and jumprope.   I'm highly motivated to lose my gut.   I don't know how much I weigh, though.

ant eye matter

even ants, I grant, are giants

   i.e.   a (myxobolus shekel) is 8.5 micrometers long, fully grown 

   (0.0085 mm), like 10 could fit in the width of a hair

   MSF, mxobouls shekel fart?  they don't have digestive tracts.

     so, the tardigrades (like the "water bears") do, though. (0.05mm)

water-bear fart?, WBF, (they lack complex gut bacteria and fermentation chambers that make gas)...  

also known as a wood-burning fireplace, 

to re-enter humanity

there's a fish that communicates by farting

Manchu cannibal says "I cannot stomach you"

wish for a dish of nutritious fish

vampire omits vomit, includes lewd

me and you on the Menu;  delicioUS

a vision for fission;  confusion about fusion

democrat demon-rats?  

ew, evil wicked, Elizabeth Warren

bc, bent corrupt, Bill Clinton

political wordplay- reaper republicans with hatred / red hats

I'm now affiliated with the Green Party

   me and the other little green men

And I have cool emerald Vuarnet shades 

I liked Schwarzenegger.   Barack should've quit smoking while president, with more attention to the President's council on physical fitness.  Donald?  if they throw a shoe at you, Donald Duck!

Do you buy what Dubai is selling?

Paris is parlous and perilous

Marty the martyr

BC and AD, Bill Cosby and Aliko Dangote

Erica from America, says

Sheinbaum and her shiny new bomb

Jack's jackal hides from Jekyll, in Hyderabad

What's the rush for Russia?

San Luis Obispo is SLO

Fast times at Ridgemont High (I got friends in Low places)

speedy Gonzalez and slowpoke Rodriguez

Hurry up, hurricane

Star Trek and start wreck, Finish in Finland

Spacex and space sex and getting it on

Get On With It!  

family cars

Larry Teshara and Tesla, Peggy T and PT Cruiser, GTO, Jetta

4x4 equals sweet 16

clarity about Larry T

Happy in an electric vehicle in Madagascar

Floating down the Seine, remembering Madrid and crazy town :-)

strawberry shortcake, with a longing for longevity

brevity levity. (whoopee we're all gonna die!)

demonic Jesus and Saint Satan?

killing fig trees and distributing toys to children on Xmas

panjandrum, generalized Lord High Everything

World Wide Web

Internet, offering 

music, porn, joe frank, comedy, news, satire, encyclopedia, answers, video entertainment, workouts, blogging, and email.  

www, sounds like something from Interpol

internet sounds like a net, say, for butterflies, or falling off the Golden Gate Bridge.

wordplay (wp):  identical (I denti-cal),  leg ass foot (legislative assembly footage), Chinese chin (and knees!);    Hi Larry T (dad)-  Hilarity,  Adopt-   ad o' PT (mom, Peggy Teshara).    Ingest, in jest, in Jess T :-)

g.o.d.'s:  government of democrats;  gravely offensive debasement;  good ol' divinity!

demon: devil (either mad or not), dangerous evil monster of night;   -crat (can't remember a thing)

dog, demon of greed

freak freedom for a slayer's slave

vile lint!   vile Lynn!  vile vial.   vile veal!  vile vowel.  vile veil.  vile isle.   vile aisle.  vile Lyle.  Vile while Kyle runs miles with style next the the Nile, vile pile of tiles, vile dial soap, vile wiles of guile.  Heil, vile!  vile smile.

desecration of the dreadful despicable damned diabolical depraved dangerous demon devil-dragon of darkness, despair, death, doom, and deceit!

good gawd, I'm giddy I passed the GED

goading a guide, goo would be good

Berkeley in a burqa;  sects intersects with sex

reaction to recitation;  reciting verse about regaining sight

cinematic cinnamon, amores perros, GU032 (global underground, Adam Freehand), Lomas de Chapultepec;   emcee (master of ceremonies) in MC (Mexico City)

random scribblings

Yo yo hello hi-o

Wussup dawg 

Matshishkapeu

Innu

If God could talk, what would He or She say?

Be perfect, as your Father in Heaven is perfect

So go to heaven.   Be a dad.  Motherfucker.

God says, let there be light, my burden is light, can I get a light?  Sun says sure.

Devil, the darkling, says shadows, nightmares, and blindness, of black evil, spreads its tentacles in the gloom, across the land obscured by darkness, in a pit of doom.

Jedi police, forces using the force

Use the force, jedi

Use your fork, edi ble 

Norse force, of course

Like a horse

What is the source of the force? 

God is imaginary;  The world is God's imagination

put that in your pipe and smoke it

booze, broads, and action!  wine, women, and song!  sex, drugs, and rocknroll!   

brahma shiva vishnu, father son and Holy Spirit!  Me myself and I!   sit, do nothing, meditate.  Good, bad, neutral.  here there everywhere.  past present future.  joy bliss happiness.  breathe, note, be.  read watch listen.   eat exercise sleep.  write talk create.  mad bad sad.   think say do, thoughts words actions.  triune triple trinity.   tripartite triad triangle.   if you don't succeed, try try again.   suck seed?  cess?  Try tricycling in Trinidad :-).  333.   query, learn, discover.   curiosity, research, education.  knowledge, wisdom, understanding.   

(seals and ling cod) naval semen on the ceilin';   love, hope, peace, and joy!   awake aware and alive!   faith hope and love, peace love and happiness, peace and freedom, liberty and liberal aryans?   life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.   Hot pursuit, hot pink, that's hot!  haute couture and stone cold Steve Austin listening to Coldplay during the Cold War.   That's cold.  Ice cold.   Frozen.   Freeze-frame.  Chillin' like a villain.   Son, Is the sun going to sin soon?

insects on your herb:  thyme flies

sisu, if you say so

demonic dementia, on Mondays 

inquire, query, question - like Curious George (Margret and Hans Augusto Rey);  "curiouser and curiouser" (Alice); who what where when why how which?

experience, vicarious and actual.   truth, fact, science, reality, data, information, input, processing, enlightenment

fun, play, laughter, joy, bliss, happiness, comedy, jokes, satire, leisure, treasure, pleasure

Brain is the thinker I use to think thoughts with (use your head, your noggin, brain cranium, skull, melon).   They say you can think with your dick, or follow your heart, or use god as your co-pilot, that is, let go and let God, which is like being possessed, except "access granted"...

G-D, Glad Dad

Frozen zen, burning Bern, cold old, warm worms, hot pot, what's that fly doing in my soup? (waiter: it looks like the backstroke, sir), freezing free, expensive pens, afraid of AIDS, scared of getting scarred, no car in NC, and reading about Eid (feasts)...  there's also a Mecca, California, FYI.

strong fit healthy well sane;  see hear smell taste touch;  best good neutral bad worst;I can't drive 55!   Washington Monument is 555 feet tall.

Omniscience (but not everything is science), omg, god only knows

imagine:  I am a G in E (girl, guy in ecstasy, e.g.);   God is good without an o.  You can't have evolution without love.  Live, love, leave.   The lawyer believes in All law.   There are lawgivers and lawtakers.  la la la.   a note to follow so.    

Elmo?  hell no.  techno?  heck no.   a parade in Paradise, sí.   the witch in the gingerbread house (home sweet home).  Anne'd eye Kant fined Mai weigh holm..    casting spelz.   A Kraft sandwich, and witchcraft.  They ain't no next life, so I'm living my best life.   Seize the day.   See's candy today!   LSD, luminous soul of divine light!  hermaphro-deity??   e-mail from a she-male.   Intersex, the preferred term.   (FYI, For dioecious humans, It is biologically impossible to inseminate yourself).  Prodigy progeny, and androgynous Roger.   Noble notables.   Lucifer in tights, and Jesus the geezer.   Old man in a gold van.  An elder welder.  Carpenter fishing for carp.   Carpe diem, seize the day.  carpe carp, carpe carpet, seize the fish, seize your rug, Seize the candy.  Diem, Demi.   Mojo juju  (spirit vibe).  Turquoise turkeys.  Discontent continues in the country.   Dick indicates his appendix.  Evan in seventh heaven.   Smells like Mel in hell.