Jesse L Teshara / Kelli Jean Simpson
(Kelli) I am a Seer, and I have seen many disturbing images, related to the other occupants in this home. Things like rape, murder, cannibalism. Feet being cut off. Bodies under the house. It is to the point that I am scared for my life.
(or (no visions, or dreams worth believing, but). am a “seer” with just eyes to see with, like almost everyone else)
My boyfriend, Jesse, senses none of this, and is perfectly comfortable talking to everyone, in Spanish or in English. And is almost certain there are no cadavers down there. Good people. He feels lucky to have a room in Berkeley for only $750 Jesse wants specifics, or some kind of evidence, because otherwise this is all utter madness.
Who has done what, specifically? (!!) (in your view)
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List of tenant complaints with K
Water left running (shower, sinks, empty laundry); kitchen range top burners left on, unattended (like only once, to my understanding); microwave left on (empty) (“for 2 hours”); fans left on (kitchen); yelling at tenants (while trying to sleep - during day (night-shifters), and also during night); Kelli also accused of, rumored to have, used “a pipe” (?)…. I have never seen anything like that.
(Has a quirky view of purity, cleanliness) (it’s a kind of funny tug of war between people turning faucets on and off… ). Not really a big deal, if you ask me. Everyone just relax. Respect.
Taking liberty with throwing things away, like a curtain rod, or crawl space door, or people’s belongings (in public areas). I usually agree with her, but still think she should probably ask.
Harmless, like smudging the house with stinky sage (:-). This is to cleanse the house.
For Better or Worse
Hopefully, Better
My relationship with Kelli and living situation have taken a turn for the worse. She said she hates me, in fact. I do not feel that way about her, but I AM tired of being berated and yelled at on an ongoing basis. We share a room. She wants my room. We each pay around $750. We have separate rental agreements. I’m not even sure she really has one. She is angry all the time. She shouts at people in her head, in the fan, and sometimes real people like me or my roommates. Next to nothing I do is right or meets her approval, and the general attitude is one of disgust and annoyance. She says I need to leave the room, immediately. Just like almost everyone else in the house, including the landlord. Everyone in the house (except Aaron, for some reason) has this status (of illegal occupancy), in her mind. The house is the locus of immense criminal activity, if you listen to her. Beatings, rape, murder. Even chopping off feet. I’m not kidding. I have no idea where she comes up with these ideas. She says she is a seer and a vessel-body. She believes, it seems, whatever ideas pop into her head. One of these ideas is that there is a REAL landlord (from the East Coast), and that Edgar (who I’ve been paying rent to for over a decade) is a squatter. I don’t know why she’s persisting in this belief, but apparently she doesn’t like most of our roommates, and is placing faith in a spiritual presence, shall we say, who she has never met, to give her the entire property. I have been on good terms with my roommates for ten years, and haven’t EVER had any indication of depravity, criminality, or any other forms of evil and wickedness. I mean, nobody’s perfect, but not everybody is a cruel heinous monster, either.
Kelli is always evaluating me to see if I’m someone else. She’s removed, analyzing, and often convinced I’m someone else, people I’ve never met, or someone she’s never met, either. She thinks I’m possessed, sometimes. Or “stepped-into”. She yells at a past evil incarnation of herself. It gets really twisted. She says she’s not human. She’s a goddess. She’s not from the earth-realm. Keli Jean of Heaven. Her mom and dad are not her “real” parents. Just about anything she says is part of some endless web of lies, which are seemingly of some use to her, maybe, as she tests reality. She needs to have power, control, and be heard. My conversational style of interactive engagement is not tolerated - it’s shut up and listen. If I’m not “Snake-Man” or “David” or “Ace Young” (which I am incapable of differentiating within myself, so maybe it’s all bullshit), then maybe she’ll be nice to me, but it’s no fun not being able to just be myself, under constant threat of being forcibly removed from my own room, or not allowed into my bedroom to sleep. I could just as much do the same to her, but I don’t, because I respect her, and I imagine we all need some time to ourselves, for me time, for privacy, to decompress or whatever. Our dynamic isn’t the healthiest, you could say.
She’s not feeling sexy, and neither am I, and she’s calling herself a eunuch, and doesn’t want my sexual attention, and that’s okay. I’m not all about sex, and whatever. I want her to be happy, I’ll just leave it at that.
Kelli rollercoaster, previously healthy, everyone I know (family, friends) thinks she’s a bad influence. Ida said “no one can handle Kelli” and “4 weeks off medication and she’ll turn the place upside down”. It’s been like 5 months, if you ask me. She thinks being on medication is a sign of being mentally ill, which is only a shade of difference away from being in an institution for the criminally insane. I actually am quite sympathetic with being your authentic (unmedicated) self, and believe doctors should let people be themselves, only being treated if necessary. Just as long as the patient is on board, and has freedom.
More about it
Kelli Jean Simpson, aka Keli Jean of Heaven, who says she is not from the earth-realm, who I met at SJBH (San Jose Behavioral Health) and have been friends/bf + since 1/1/24 (we've known each other for 20 months now), moved into my room, and we have separate leases on our room in this "boarding house." She does not sub-lease, from me. There are 11 tenants, it is under rent control. 7 of us speak Spanish. Edgar, the landlord, is from Méjico. He has a house in Acapulco, I believe.
So Kelli believes (apparently) that Edgar is not the true landlord, and is in fact a squatter. This is absurd. I looked it up, and Edgar is in fact the true owner, who I have paid rent to for over a decade. (!)
The room is a treasure. It is $750/month, including utilities, and is under rent control. In Berkeley! The weather and libraries and food and proximity to family and dogs etc. make it ideal (for me).
Kelli has denied me access to my room, my computer, and my phone. She has said she hates me. Then again, she never knows who "me" is!!! I am myself, always, if you ask me (it's ridiculous), but she calls me SERPNT, Ace. Young, Blue October, etc. (e.g."whore dick” *)
*i have never cheated on her (absolutely, ever)
We exchanged rings, informally. I kept mine on, until she took it off. We have been intimate. I really don't want things to get adversarial, contentious, acrimonious, unpleasant, or sad. I still really like Kelli, and hope we can reconcile. I love her, in fact. Life is mad.
But it's not much of a relationship when she thinks I'm rarely?/ never? ME! It's become apparent that she needs privacy, but she goes to psychological extremes to get it and force me out. I respect a need for "me" time, alone time, a need for space and privacy. So I give it to her. She only need ask. I mean, I do, too.
But I'm always Jesse L. Teshara (Jesús, Chuy, Isaí) (L is for Lawrence) (birthfather was Stollinitz), or Jess. My dad and grandpa were both "Mr. T." A rose is a rose by any other name, and would smell as sweet!, ... so names are basically incidental, if you ask me. Call me anything?
Kelli is always deciding if I'm acceptable or not. For me, it's utterly insane, and I should be free to be who I am, without worrying if she hates me or not. I really don't even know what the difference(s) are, between the 'good" and "bad" me's, or why she would care so much. I write. She thinks aloud, and talks at length. I still think we don't communicate very well. She thinks I interrupt. I think she lectures, instead of interacts.
She doesn't need to call me other people's names, and push me out the door to our room. It got a little ugly. She's deeply angry at God, Mexico, me, and her parents. She yells in the room at night, sometimes, and thinks she's controlling everything. It's intimidating, and she's hard to talk to, because she's always in her own head, seems. I've had to repeat something 6 or 7 times.
She casually talks to herself, fans, heaters, who (or what)-ever is in her head, about: Sending people to the lake of fire of hell for all eternity (!!). She mentions sending war angels. She tells the heavens and the spirits and angels and gods and saints what to do. It's kind of fun, other than when she's directing the cutting of of heads and setting things on fire. It's deeply creepy, and can be really scary and spooky. She is hypnotic, and claps her hands/snaps her fingers. She speaks in tongues, always going on about the Evil and Wicked.
She seems to be perpetually aggrieved, resentful, and angry. Over a hundred fifty grand was stolen from her(?). She says she is a vessel-body, almost always engaged in spiritual warfare, and besieged by ghost-bullets, ghost-knives, ghost-injections, and the feeling of snakes being put in her body.
Most other people I know think she is bad for me, one even saying I will only be myself when she is on medication. That is NOT my decision, and she values authenticity. But I DO value sanity and, shall we say, less drama. I have personally felt head-shocks, chest-pains, voices, and teeth-taps. I have been diagnosed. I am doing really well. Better even than just the Invega trinza, since I started clozaril. I might be better off leaving Kelli alone, but it's ALSO MY ROOM, dammit. I should be comfortable in my own (Paid -for) place, where I've been for over a decade.
We've both got it good here. Neither of us have an alternate place to go, I think. Not "rich parents" or anything, I think. I shouldn't EVER be locked out of my room. Forcibly pushed out. Made to sleep on the Living Room floor, without a reason. Sometimes I want to relax, take a nap, watch tv, use my computer, sit... Goes without saying. I believe we are FAR more compatible than our current situation suggests. Sometimes I talk in my sleep. Relationships take work.
SOLUTION
Stop yelling at tenants. If not, then medicate.
(unless you know for a fact, with conviction, you’re helping, not disturbing the peace).
Attitude and status of Equality. (You are not telling us where to live, much less ordering Gods around in Heaven, or sending people in your head to Hell).
When Kelli needs privacy, permit Jesse to rest on a pad in the living room.
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Jesse, home in Berkeley, on Ashby
Where I’ve been for over a decade, and feel like family, a bit
I sleep like 10:30p to 7:30a
1. I could sleep in the space off the kitchen, leave my stuff in Kellli’s room, for Kelli to enjoy our room (alone). Then, I’d move into whatever room becomes available, in “2 months” or whatever.
2. I could sleep on a pad in our room (if not sharing the bed). I have a pad.
This is my preferred solution. I enjoy K. She doesn’t bother me, much. Usually.
3. I could sleep on the pad in the living room
(the living room is serving as storage for Michael Helbush, mostly)
I could buy storage bins, and put (most of) my stuff under the house (lock the entry?).
4. One of us could move to another address. The other, keeping the front room.
5. Kelli likes a minimalist decor. Is she trying to get rid of me?… or just my stuff. (!). I will gladly move my books, etc. to conform/ comply.
Our lease agreements could be looked at, maybe revised, and a mutual agreement reached, if necessary? We’re co-renting (leasing?) the same room, with different agreements.
I don’t want to move. It’s $750 for a rent-controlled place in lovely Berkeley. A one-bedroom here goes for $2200-3000/ month, on average. The Bay Area weather is ideal, for me. I have family here. I have a dog-walking gig I don’t want to give up. All my stuff is here, and I use the libraries, restaurants, parks, etc. Just because I really enjoy Kelli doesn’t mean I’m going to leave all this.
K seemingly wants everyone to move out but Aaron (and me, but she changes her mind, sometimes); She needs to know she doesn’t control the tenants.
I plan on living here a good, long time. I like it here. I like the people here. It’s been a godsend. It’s home. If Kelli stays with me, so much the better.
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Sitch: we both want the same room, ambiguous rental agreements for each
We shared the same bed, b/f and g/f
We even wore rings, for awhile
She’s been making me sleep in the living room (BY FORCE)
I’ve been there over 10 years. Most of the stuff there is mine.
She would’ve been homeless, without my room made available to her
She kicks me out of the room on the premise I’m not actually Jesse L Teshara.
It’s insanity. I’m hoping it’s just a ruse, her fancy way of saying she needs privacy. Because obviously I’m only one person!
We must all sleep in the rooms we’re paying for, says our landlord, Edgar. This sounds reasonable to me, but Kelli doesn’t see it that way. I’ve been (unwillingly) exiled to the living room, recently, which has actually never been permitted, but has worked out while Edgar has been in Mexico.
He returns soon. We’ll see what happens.
I want to sleep in my own room. I’ve paid. I have every right to enter it and keep within and exit without being barricaded or judged to not be myself and refused entry, or even forcibly ejected. If Kelli wants privacy, I will give it to her. She need not create some horrifying story about feet being chopped off in the back of the house and what not, for me to feel pity about a non-existent situation that she has created in her mind, and therefore let her keep our front room, alone.
It’s my room. I’ve been here over 10 years. I have always paid rent. I get along with the people here. It’s my home. I live here.
I shared my room with Kelli, who I quite often enjoy, to prevent her being homeless. She thinks of her current situation as one of poverty, while I am grateful for everything, am not in any debt, and am usually happy. I am positive about my situation.
Kelli, off her medication, is more volatile, aggressive, upset, and difficult. Her yelling upsets everyone. Everyone is scared of her. The cops have come 3 times, by my count. Breaking the mirrors, and checks to see if she is a threat to herself or others. She’s fierce and insanely angry, sometimes. Nobody wants to mess with her. We all want her to calm down and relax and enjoy life. Or just keep her rage private. People need to sleep.
If things change, it's all good. The yelling, the saying I'm not me, the lack of access, the believing everything she thinks, the madness. We can be like family here. We should be able to get along.
advice I got: hold on to your room!
you won't be yourself until she's medicated
she won't be happy unless she takes her meds (otherwise, it's scary, sad, hyped-up ideation)
the rules of the house are, take your medications. Otherwise, no lease. I could say, no relationship, but I'm not (won't ever be!) willing to say that.
She was given a prescription when she left the hospital, which needed to be followed-up on, for medical evaluation, within a month or two after. People say, them's the rules.
She's not following the rules of civilization.
She needs to fill her meds, and take them daily.
She has freedom, but must maintain her own Mental Health.
I have to ask myself, it's about me, what gives me Joy? vs. being unhappy, or scared.
What am I willing to put up with / tolerate?
Just because she disturbs the house...
An opinion (from Karen): belongs in a treatment center, or a board/care
