How did the oceans get salty? The whales wailed, and filled the seas with their tears. Big as a wail. Although the Blue Oyster Cult says it was the oysters. People say a whale of a time and as happy as a clam, but they have feelings and are multidimensional. I'm skeptical of the clam claim. The weeping willows dripped into the streams, which emptied into the rivers, and then the ocean, of course. But mostly the cries of the animals being eaten and hunted and slaughtered and dying have filled the air with the rain clouds that have poured down upon the earth and seas, providing us all with water to drink and a place for fish!
Why is the sky blue? The sky is blue because God has blue eyes and the water from his tears are blue, and the blue iris flower sprouted from the drops of his tears, when he mourned and cried over the death of His water-daughter, Christina, and drank Skyy vodka to drown His sorrows, and his weeping and anguish inundated the earth and seas and skies, leaving the world stained blue.
Why is the world round? The world is round because the Goddess likes music, and She has a large record collection, and She wanted a planet to keep it all on, so She decided her planet should be a gigantic spinning record, full of music to fill the air, vibrant with song and tunes and dance and singing and clapping and merry-making, night and day. The Goddess wanted to be the belle of the ball, so she made her planet a huge giant orb, with a Song Dynasty and everything happening in concert.
Why are people mean? People are mean because people are animals, and come from the trees, and everything in Nature is connected. We have pets, and dogs chase cats and bark at other dogs, cats toy with mice, and mice eat insects. Humans are carnivores, and we are at the top of the food chain. Dominance and power come with cruelty and force, and the humans who rule are often the beasts who are most cruel. Our hundreds of thousands of years of history have made dominating societies conquer other, less brutal ones, with guns and steel. People are full of spite, hatreds, resentment, and malice for personal and historical perceived injustices, real and imagined. God has inflicted terrible fates, such as disease and famine and war, upon civilized and mostly harmless peoples. Life is unfair. People want blood. People need justice and revenge and payback. People are mean because of culture, chemicals, traumas, and triggers. Life is a shit-show, full of ignorance and incompetence and misery and poverty and suffering and sadness and grief. If people are mean to you, it is difficult for you not to be mean to others. It is self-perpetuating. You have an evil wolf inside of you that devours everyone, and you have a gentle lamb, too... which one takes over your personality? answer: the one you feed! When all of Nature is eating each other, the real question is why are some people kind?
Why do dogs have tails? So they can wag, of course! But why do they wag? They can't talk! And dogs are notoriously flatulent! They need to scatter their farts around, so their owners won't kick them out, and so other dogs far and wide can smell their brethren, which is their way of communicating, along with pee-mail, and duping the stupid puppies with goopy poop. Woop woop! It throws them for a loop. Poop is like rupees to Snoopy! But farts are the finest smell in the dog kingdom, and wagging spreads the love, spreads the joy, and spreads the gas. The next time your dog wags, he's diminishing his scent for you, and scattering his odor to the ends of the earth to stay in touch (in smell, you could say) with his or her dog-buddies, whose sense of smell far surpASSes ours. Remember, to a dog, farts are like perfume! Poop is like a fine piece of art. And pee is the nectar of the gods, splattered down from on high! Woof!
I had a vision in prison, while dizzy and diseased, that Christ is risen!, said Liz from the mizzenmast (but Liz in prison is risible).
Does the Bible apply to everyone? No, child. It's whatever you believe. Nothing applies to anyone! The world is chock-full of spells, and some people believe some things, and others others. Why do people believe what they believe? It's whatever sticks! There are libraries full of ideas, and some are stickier than others. It's a big, messy, sticky world!! You can write your own bible :-). the Bible says only God is good, God is love, and love believes all things. That's one crazy spell, no?!
