Esme

Esme Tupelo Clegg
my new baby cousin
b. 3/11/16, 11:05p
ETC!

pronounced Ezmay:
It's from JD Salinger's short story: "For Esme, with Love and Squalor"
(which I just read, along with the rest of '9 stories')
         from the interweb-
"Esmé is a sophisticated, distinctive, and charming J. D. Salinger name, from his classic 1950 story For Esmé, With Love and Squalor. Related to the French Aimee, which means beloved, and to the concept of esteem, it was originally a male name exported from France to Scotland via a member of the royal family.  It was first recorded in Scotland, being borne by the first Duke of Lennox in the 16th century."

Tupelo is a city in NE Mississippi, named after the Tupelo tree
Van Morrission sings about "Tupelo honey;" youtube link
and it's where Elvis Presley was born
(he had a stillborn identical twin, named Jesse)

and, (thanks, google!)
Clegg Name Meaning. English (chiefly Lancashire and Yorkshire): habitational name from a place in Lancashire named Clegg, from Old Norse kleggi 'haystack', originally the name of a nearby hill.Manx: variant of Clague.

Congratulations, parents Erin and Dan, grandparents Jim and Vicki and Lizzie and Ant, and uncle Patrick!

 

3:16

The Good, and The Evil

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” 

On this day in 1968 (March 16th, 3/16), U.S. soldiers in Vietnam killed up to 500 unarmed villagers in the hamlet of Mai Lai, considered a stronghold of the Viet Cong.

Senescent space-ghost vampire:
Eternal life, I have to say, could be heavenly, hellish, or just like average everyday life.   What if you were immortal, but aging?  You'd eventually lose all your senses.  Or a ghost?  Where's the fun in that?  Or you live billions of years (just getting started!), and end up floating in space, after the earth is swallowed up by the sun?  How boring.  I saw a bumper sticker "ELF" (everyone lives forever).  If I outlive my death (!), I hope my immortality remains vital, interesting, varied, enjoyable.   Vampires are immortal.  Do Christians become vampires?  They drink the blood of Christ.  What a joke, if you ask me.  The two 316's (John 3:16, and 3/16/1968) can be united by the phrase from Dracula, "the blood is the life."  Eternal bloodshed sounds true, and biblical, enough.

Animal Religion

what's going on here?

Protestant ant
Catholic cat, papacy pussy
dogma dog
presbyterian byter
muslim muzzle
sects in insects
mosque like fly (mosca, in spanish)
  (mosquito means 'little fly')
gnostic tick
beatitude, bee attitude
penance ants

not quite:
ewe in jewish (you wish)
bible, papal bull, cow-ncil (of tr-entomology)
rabbi is awfully close to rabbit; b is hop (bishop) (hoppy Easter!)
heaven has ave, close to avian ('ave' is bird in spanish)
    (holy trinity of va-toucan, cardinal, hen)*
mormonkey!

and unrelated, but still fun:
Haydn Sikh!

*"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." -Luciano De Crescenzo (a bit more romantic than heaven= ave hen, lol

Books, etc.

goal: book/day

i've fallen off of my disciplined start to the year, but I've still been reading:

8 books:
Steve Jobs (biography), by Walter Isaacson (finished today, large print)
Easy Origami, by John Montroll (I've made most of the book's ideas)
2100 Asanas, by Mr. Yoga (Daniel Lacerda) (purchased)
Mother Night, by Kurt Vonnegut (found/purchased at a thrift store)
Outsider in the White House, by Bernie Sanders (with Huck Gutman)
Life is Good (the book), by Bert and John Jacobs
Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell (i haven't seen the movie)
It's not me, it's you, by Mhairi McFarlane

and (only a small bit, of course)-
 -Encyclopedia Britannica
     (on disk! i wonder if it has everything the library set has)
 - also started reading Bill Bryson's 'One Summer' (narrative non-fiction about America in 1927)

also,
I've attended 3 different religion's services, lately (my idea of fun):
1.unitarian
2.christian science
3.ephesian church of god in christ
         they were ALL trippy!  the black church, especially (last weekend)
          (i was the only white person attending)

other nuggets-
i had mediterranean/lebanese food with Sara
i visited the apple store, fixed my ipad mini (tablet)
i saw beach blanket babylon
i interviewed for possible employment as a WAG dogwalker
i did gardening at Mission San Jose, visited my aunt
got a new phone, an iphone
bought a chess set (still haven't played anyone)
was diagnosed with "runner's knee"
saw the Revenant (movie w/ LDC)
    (that could mean leonardo dicaprio or less developed country)
met someone for coffee from okcupid
had a sushi burrito with my cousin Patrick
went to a phone bank event for Bernie Sanders
won a McDonald's gift certificate

and
the usual daily gym/library/music/email
         and weekly kaiser/dogwalking
         and monthly free food

tomorrow:
my cousin Erin's baby daughter is due. 
and i might get a haircut, myself.

update

my life lately

going to beach blanket babylon tomorrow, in sf
(with mom and dad, dinner after)
did a bunch of origami, but not the crane yet.
(the box, a boat, pelican, piano, hat, pigeon, house)
bought a slice of vegetarian pizza from Papa John's today
bought gnc protein powder (chocolate wheybolic ripped)
spent $61 at target (with xmas gift cards)
i have a cold.  slept in.  therefore, didn't do:
gardening this morning at MSJ.   or the gym.  or 10m daily run.
listening to itunes as i type this (kalx, wprb, wmbr, whrb, mostly)
did troubleshooting for the blog
    (an annoying cgi-bin/redirect.ha problem)
    (it works now, :-)
skimmed the ny times at the library
read about buddhism on wikipedia (a lot more awaits)
and surfing my new encyclopaedia britannica disk
(my computer won't eject it!!i rarely use the drive, not a problem (yet)
reading Vonnegut's Mother Night
discovered a cool website: phrontistery.info (for word lovers)
bought a lotto ticket for tonight's superlotto plus
(didn't win, entered 2nd chance)
$- planning on joining WAG (dogwalking app) soon
surveys, taskrabbit, cal psychology ESI* lab study
maybe i'll do a bit of okcupid dating
will help mom with gardening, weather permitting
and i really want Bernie Sanders to win
*emotion and social interaction

Problems and Solutions

An (almost) Comprehensive List!

suffering, discontent
                - Buddhism (mindfulness meditation; result: equanimity)*
                -yoga (a hare krishna i met called it the "path to god")
                 -humor, laughter (making yourself and others happy)

crime, sin - law and order, justice; repentance, forgiveness
(e.g. 7 deadly sins: pride, avarice, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, sloth)

unhealth, mental/physical illness
                   -diet, exercise, hospital, meds, time/healing
                   -balanced diet, food groups; variety
                   -vegetarian, fruits and vegetables, of different colors
                    (quality, quantity: not too much, not too little, healthy)
                   -stay hydrated, 7 glasses of water/day
                   -medication/medicine/drugs/pharmaceuticals
                    (self-medicated, and/or doctor prescribed)
                   -fish oil (omega 3), vitamin c
                   -well as we'll: togetherness, community, being social
                    (example, the pope)
                   -mental health: group/cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy)
                   -depression/anxiety:
                          -shower, swim, walk, talk, shop, eat, nap/sleep
                   -enough sleep
                   -cleanliness, hygiene (brush, floss, rinse)
                   -look good, feel good
                   -spiritual life: friends, family, love, nature, comfort, security
                   -moderation
                   -fitness: walk, exercise, fresh air, movement, dance,
                     sports participation, gym, swim, lift, bike

supply meeting demand -logistics              
poverty -employment, money
basic needs- charity, gvt/taxation
insecurity- self-defense/martial arts, military/police, home-security
war- diplomacy (or victory)

ignorance- curiosity, education, discipline, reading,
                    research, teaching, writing
                 -computers/tablets/smartphones: internet
                    (e.g. google, wikipedia, open yale courses, etc.)
                 -library/librarians
                     (books, magazines, newspapers, audio cd's, video dvd's)
                 -enlightenment (mindfulness, reflection, discernment)
                 -"knowing" (in the biblical sense)
                 -science

boredom- art/creativity, blog, exercise, sports, family, books, magazines, newspapers, internet, music, movies, travel, games, tv

tired-nap, sleep; hungry-eat! thirsty- drink.
horny -! (sex? masturbate? extinguish desire?)

behavior, morality, ethics- incentives, inducements,
           carrots and sticks, rewards and punishments

Bjorn Lomborg (his Ted talk on his book, Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems)
solution: read my book report, on this blog! SWBP (link on sidebar, on right, under "SAVE THE WORLD") (again, that's Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems, which I bought, read, have, and wrote about)

Love is the main solution
followed closely by Nature, Money, and Humor
(I listen to a lot more Music than comedy, though, myself)

*about Buddhism:
(extinguish the buddhist "poisons": greed, hatred, delusion)
(what is different about a buddhist vacuum cleaner? no attachments)
(attachments, negative and positive:  craving and aversion*)
 *(attachment/clinging/lust/desire/greed/need/want/craving/
  aversion/anger/hatred/rage)

Teshara

What's in a name?
A list of wikipedia articles answering (some of) what's in my (last) name:

T (cross)
Te (also a priest, formerly at St. Stephen's parish in SF) (2,5, like 'Jesus' 'Christ', in numerology)(and Theistic Evolution)
Tes (8, like 'God')
Tesh (John is my confirmation name)
Tesha (laughter is therapeutic)(jesus as comedian?!)
(no teshar) (but there is a 'tessera')
(no teshara) (but there is a teixeira (my great-grandfather's name was changed from this at Ellis island)

and backwards:
Et (phone home!)
Set (son of adam and eve, and an egyptian deity)
H-set (also, all the words beginning with h? and, my high school's hallways)
(eg, heaven, hell, his holiness, hatred, happiness, harvard, honda, hollow, hospital, healthy)
(hset is a burmese name)
(no ahset) (but there is AH (islamic calendar)
(also anthony hopkins, anthony harris, adolf hitler, alfred hitchcock, anne heche, etc)
(no 'rahset') (but there is a 'rah', god of mu (!); mooo says the holy cow)
(no arahset) (but there is the arabian satellite, arabsat)

A (Teshara is like 'to share A', e.g. my dad is a school administrator)
Ra (arabic for ten!, and another egyptian deity)
Ara (latin for altar)
Hara (early name for Shiva)
Shara (minor sumerian god of war)
Eshara (ishara, goddess of oath, from syria)

Ar (such as animal rights)
Arah (gi joe!) (also, 'arahant', an enlightened buddhist)(and 'arahura', a divine canoe)
(no 'arahs')
(no 'arahse') (but 'arroz' is rice, in spanish)

esh (a latin letter, same as the integral sign, in maths)
(no 'esha' wiki page (yet), but a bunch of people have the name)
(eshar, no page, but a word, in proto indo-european, something to do with blood)
sha (a cyrillic letter, literally the same as esh! (another name for)
shar ('east,' in Tibetan)
sh (back in the day, SH (sacred heart) was the rival of SI;
interestingly, also stand for self-harm, and self-injury)
ha (ancient egyptian god of the desert to their west)
(also, east african people and their language (cool, eh?); as well as hell's angels)
es (another cyrillic letter; and a manga (Eternal Sabbath)

and, of course, anagrams!
some of the embedded words are:
as, at, sat, re-, has, ash, he, haters, earths, hearts, aha, rest, erst, hare, hear, rhea, share, hears, shear, hares, era, ear, eta, stare, shat, hast, aster, sera, tares, rates, sea, hart, eats, ate rash, rats, star, tsar, art, tar, as at her, the sara, et sarah, tears eh, ares, hats, arehats.

aster is a plant (aster -risk? toxicity class 4 -skin rash, irritation)
sera is plural of serum
erst is formerly, before the present time
rhea is the ramie plant or fiber
eta is the 7th letter of the greek alphabet (and an initialism for estimated time of arrival)
era is equal rights amendment, too
Ares is an ancient greek god of war
AR can be annette riddle, as well as alternate reality, all right?

'ate rash' reminds me of a gross corn flakes joke
(punchline: scab collection) (to go with the blood pie reference)

wordles reveals other words-in-words:
areas, haste, resh, rathe, reata, rase, sate, seta, trash, teas

resh is the 20th letter of hebrew
rathe is growing, ripening, or blooming early in the year or season
reata is another spelling of riata, which is a lariat
rase is another spelling of raze, which is to tear down, demolish, level to the ground
seta is a stiff hair or bristle

Also, there's:
Ishtar (goddess of love, fertility, war, and sex)
Ashura (arabic for tenth)
Ashur (mesopotamian deity, head of pantheon)
Asura (hindu powerful superhuman demigods)
Asura (the lowest rank of buddhist deities/demigods) (also, a Soul Eater character)
Ahura (a class of zoroastrian angelic divinities) (just add S and T (st.!)
Avalokitesvara (buddhist bodhisattva, representing/embodying compassion)
(substitutes v for h) (means "lord who looks down")
Shura (arabic for "consultation," used in Quran)
(e.g. Surat ash-Shura, 42nd sura of the Quran -with 53 ayat)
(also, japanese term for one of 6 realms of reincarnation)
and
Teshie is "one of the biggest towns in Ghana"
Teshaya is/was a native american settlement in monterey county, california
Tesse is a lake in Norway (about 4 hrs from Hell)
Sharavati is a river in India
Al-Asharah is a town in eastern Syria, on the Euphrates
and
Teshenawa is an extinct Nigerian language
Sharabha is a creature in Hindu mythology, parts lion/bird/human
Sharia is Islamic law, the pathway to be followed, the divine and infallible law of God (!) (Shiite provides the 'te')
Tassajara is a zen buddhist retreat in california
Tejava's logo (iced tea) looks like my signature (v is similar to r)

aside:
words looks like it could be pronounced wards, with wor or war
letters has let in it (as in blood-letting)
meaning has mean in it (and nin- such as nine inch nails)

What to Do?

Don't Let Anybody Tell You

what to do, what to do-
 I heard a song on kalx today that said, "Don't let anybody tell you what to do"

but that, itself, is an injunction!
and, of course, the law tells you what not to do.

so, do whatever you want, including whatever anybody else wants, but only if it's legal!!

'todo', btw, means 'all' in spanish
do it all, know-it-all!

A Part of Something Bigger

You are God, and So is Reality

(you are your own reality, but reality is not just you)
does that make sense?

it's like light being a particle and a wave: both are true.

Other people are not you, unless you're the body of christ, or the body politic, or 'as earth'
(for example, or whatever)

cause or reflection?
but, even then, it's debatable whether you are the cause of the larger entity, or just reflect it.
(or maybe both)
on reflection, I think we're all both

anyway,
I was thinking about Bill Gates recently.
Numerology (mine, anyway): God=8.  Satan=10
and
Bill H Gates is 8888, and his birthday is 10/28/1955 (which is 10-10-10-10!)
pretty cool, eh?

J is the 10th letter
wwjd
jesse, jesus, satan..
john jacob jingleheimer... (that's my name, too) ha

allah, all a H, all a god
10: I and O, input and output, information overload
also, binary, ones and zeros.
10 fingers, digital
fin, the end  (gr)
i-o, i-o, it's off to work i go!

also,
Today, Presidents' Day, I finished reading Bernie Sanders' book, Outsider in the White House (good stuff!) Go Bernie!  I worked out at the gym, and at home too, and feel really good.  I weigh 210.
On a related note, I checked out a book from the library with 2,100 yoga asanas (poses/positions).
Yesterday, I had dinner at my folks' in SF, played with Ben, and my bro gave me a suit.
Tomorrow I go to San Leandro, and Wed thru Fri it's supposed to rain! yes.

My Credo

Religion

What do I believe? Who do I believe (in)? And, of course, why? Has it changed?

Where and when...am I a product of my place and time, and the people in my life and past?

Or, alternatively, are my beliefs a result of detached purely philosophical speculation?

In college, I took a theology class, which included a Credo: On God, Human Nature, and Morality.

And finally, are these beliefs merely personal, or do I claim universality, catholicity, their truth for All?

I believe:

1. God is a muddy concept, and needs clarification, if the term is to be used meaningfully. If God is always and everywhere, omnipresent, then He is everything, reality, the universe, the All-
2. then you are a part of Him/Her/It. God is One: A corporation, including everyone/everything.
   People are animals and things, and bodies, not souls, and share Godhood with paperclips and persimmons and pelicans. Always means infinite, in both directions of the timeline, past and future. Always was, always is, and always will be, in the eternal now. Spacetime.
3. God is also defined and described as alpha and omega, beginning and end, birth and death, from conception to decayed, disintegrated dust; creation by your parents/sex to destruction by time/cellular replication. This also includes evolution, from the start of humanity to its potential, possible extinction. From the big bang to all possible futures, including a deep future when all the stars finally go dark.
4. God is good, and God is love, and God is light. But also bad, hate, and darkness. You can't say God is everywhere and deny his presence in any category or sphere or location, even hell and sin and pain and suffering and disease and death and destruction. God is in the devil, too, if you believe in an entity who is the adversary of everything, including himself (!) You could also say the devil is in God. If God is everywhere, the devil is God, too. In the sentient, maybe life is All-in-all. I believe everyone is equal, everyone is their own God, the primary architect of each one's own happiness. Maybe matter itself is conscious. Matter is energy, and energy a form of matter, and light a form of energy, as well as a form of consciousness (like dreams). Mind is bigger than each individual brain, and humans share thoughts telepathically, both day and night. Humanity is a collective, within Animalia, within Earth, within the Universe. There is only one universe, although each mind can be considered a universe unto itself (thus, reality as a multiverse).

Reflect on this, young grasshopper.

Sum Weerdness and Inne-Sanity

Madd (mothers against drunk driving), Mad (magazine), M.a.D (mom and dad)!
"when people run in circles it's a mad world" -cold play?
angry? insane? both? the term itself is a bit insane.
in the seine river.  in a sane person/mind. shouldn't it be UN-sane?
or does that reflect "poorly" on the United Nations.  unwell.  poverty and health.
a "sound" mind (with voices) is apparently saner than a still, quiet one!
madness, I say, old chap!  mci (mad crazy insane) mickey mo-use.
cool!  (rearranged, loco): what's your loco-motive, you crazy criminal?
choo-choo! chew! chewy! Chuy and Chewbacca.
Mohammad's M.O. (modus operandi, missouri (not pronounced misery)(miz-ur-ruh!)
Inn sanity, say, of a bed and breakfast (BB gun, BB body building, BB wolf, Bibi (Net and yahoo)
and sew on and so fourth

Anyway,

Sum weerdniss

Won ts (eliot) a pawn uh thyme, inn a (local area network) :-D phar (macy) jafar a weigh, their livid a which and a Kat, a purr-sun and (ben-) hur spear IT (information technology) anne I mull, hoo Bo (knows) lichen'd 2 eat heated meat and beets ev'ry weak 4 break-fast. Ow fast, u ass? Really frilly fast. Sew fassed, in f-act, t-hat thay de-sided too eet et slo-ER (san luis obispo emergency room), sew thA kood n-joy (dish soap) the mm, eel moor.

Place your alpha-bets, gentlemen:

Hey bee seedy E! Flunk gee itch eye (blue)jay okay ellen am enjoy oh pee queue are essence tea you VW double-you, ex, why, and Zorro/ zee(dee salad).

I felt like being a little crazy.
hope you enjoyed :-)
-Jess-see (with your 2 i's) To Share Ra (the sun god)
-2 light references! i have a vision! enlightenment!

a LONG post

I've been writing lately

Ai ay aye!! flying high in the sky! (I like to write)

I am a writer. Because I write. Not HOW I write, but THAT I right. Am I good writer? I leave that judgement to you. I think I write well, though, because I think well, and because I've had a fair amount of practice, putting thoughts to paper, journalling, and being a mind that's processed its reality, a kind of machine-like crunching of data, for over 4 decades. I also read a lot. I earnestly hope you find my prose clear and lucid, and perhaps entertaining, if not edifying. Also, I enjoy writing. Typing, seeing my thoughts, and constructing a narrative -being creative- are satisfying acts. I mean, it's better than staring at the ceiling, right? Maybe a buddhist monk would disagree. Well, to each his own. I'm more of a monkey than a monk. My last name is Teshara (pronounced T' share-uh), and just as Wordsworth tried to make valuable words, I strive to be true to my name, and share. I've got shit to share. What did the Buddhist Monk says to the hot-dog vendor? Make me one with everything! BM? ew. 

Thoughts are ephemeral, but printed words, processed thought, hold the promise of permanence. Well, maybe not infinity, eternity, forever! Forever, (“and ever,” - why do they say that?) - that's a mighty long time. Forever-forever? Not even a diamond lasts that long, I would guess. But it's a kind of immortality. A larger fraction of infinity (but, I realize, still a drop in the Vast). I like to see evidence of my existence, with the potential to outlive my body, and the possibility of lurking for thousands of years on a bookshelf. It's the poor man's way of downloading one's mind and brain into a matrix, a computer, the machine. Actually, I'm not sure Bill Gates himself can do much better. But maybe all the world's books will be uploaded to cyberspace, and then maybe even read by The Great Mind, which is what I'm calling a super-intelligent computer from the future. Reality is a kind of construct, and books are spells within the larger spell. Merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. Am I dreaming my own life, or is someone else my author? That's where Gods and Devils come in. Mind control can be welcome or unwelcome. We each play different roles, live different lives, and have different identities. Geography and History, space and time; or just spacetime, if you will. The moral and amoral, both sides of the chessboard, competing for possession of your inner throne. Situational ethics. And within each of us, are competing selves. Not each of us is schizophrenic, but I would say all of us house a multiplicity, a diversity. Our brains themselves are split (in hemispheres), even if our minds themselves are not. We're crowd-sourced, you might say. Priests and parents try to program us to be ideal adults. It starts with our names. What's in a name? Well, I'm Jesse Teshara, and there's a lot of possibility in that. Jesse is Jesus or Isai or Chuy, in spanish. Hey Zeus, Artificial Intelligence, Chewbacca...you see where I'm going with this? See SJ is Jesse, rearranged. Teshara anagrams to 'as earth.' I've got the whole world in my hands! 'Ace wrathless sane jeer' for example, is an anagram of my full name. I lived for a spell, you might say. But I don't do it merely for myself. I'm 44 years old, and I've done a fair amount of thinking, and I hope you'll enjoy the fruits of my cogitation, the truth of my philosophy, and gain, in addition to some wisdom, a portion of the happiness I feel when I write. I'm communicating with strangers from the future. That's you, my friend! I know, I know, there's nothing but an eternal present. My writing is a rite, and hopefully it's all right! It takes longer to write than to read, so you're being me, efficiently!

I set aside time every day to tap my soul through the keyboard onto computer, then paper, until eventually it reaches you, my anonymous destination. The Wright brothers took flight, and these words are my flight of fancy, landing on eyes, ears, and brain-cells. For a moment, your mind is mine! (I suspect the mind is mined at night by Morpheus). If I am dead when you read this, then my slowly disintegrating bones will feel happier with your attention and approval. But if I'm alive, I'm grateful for your time, and your time-travel into my past! Or is it my time-travel into your future? Certainly both, I would say. Ah, writing and reading, what a wonderful, magical, world. A far better pursuit than thievery, soldiering, boxing, hitman, assassin... Maybe even better than being president! Intellectual lectors and elections, and you, the select few. Really, a street sweeper could be a master of the universe, and a president a mere pawn. Such is life. And you may not even be born yet! (Today, the time of writing, is Wednesday, 1-27-2016 c.e., 9:10pm). Drop me a line if you wish to meet the author!

MY ideal job is author. Hopefully, yours is being a reader! We make quite a pair. Me, solitary, in my room, tap-tap-tap, pecking away, and you, eyes and mind flowing over the surface of the page, gleaning images, and concepts, and well-put turns of phrase, to put in that magical file of yours, your brain, capable of anything, with the potential to live a glorious life of excitement and joy and bliss. The bliss of roller coasters and sex and music, as well as the bliss of tranquility, peace, and calm. Entire libraries scream for your attention. Gyms demand daily maintenance and improvement. Kitchens and grocery stores and cookbooks implore your creativity. Products and people in various places, requiring logistics, getting from supply to demand. Games, movies, restaurants, entertainment give. Sleep, making crafts, chores take. Experiences lurk everywhere. 

 

Bike, bart, bus about. Take a train to Thailand. Hitchhike to Hell (it's a town in Norway, too). Take a life, make a baby. Sex and violence, sax and violins, make music, live your life, feel alive, all things in moderation, including moderation. Go to prison, witness a miracle, go to heaven. Heaven is in a book. Heavenly is a ski-resort. Paradise is near Chico. Make money, be homeless, take a risk, make friends, hate some shit. Love life. Live until you die. Does that help? Kaiser says to thrive. Throw that knife into the river. Fuck some shit up. Go crazy. Take meds. Remember to brush, floss, rinse. Early to bed, early to rise, supposedly made Benjamin Franklin healthy, wealthy, and wise. Good morning, Vietnam! Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain committed suicide. Maybe you can learn from them. Authenticity is sacred, but identity is fluid. Love all, serve all, be all. Be all you can be. Aim High. Be an army of one. Welcome to Mordor, Sauron. Welcome to hell, Satan. Welcome to heaven, God.

BEING GOD

Only God is good. To be good, all you have to do is not be bad. Being God is easy! You can be better than God!! You can be yourself, which is above Godhood, which is above Jesus, which is above the pope, which is above the minions and sheeple of the catholic church, which is above -i dunno- (are some religions better than others?). Personally, I think Buddhism is better than Catholicism is better than Islam. But being an atheistic God outranks them all. You rule your own world, your own mind, your own happiness, your own life. And being God, you can define your own morality for yourself, and outrank all those puny moralists in the courts and churches and synagogues and mosques and legislatures. You are in charge! Being in control is the ultimate in empowerment. The only power others have over you is that which you give to them. Ceding power is your choice, you always have that option, but I prefer supremacy, in my own realm. And I advise being open to taking advice! We're all pretty much in the same boat, anyway. But what works for me may not work for you. Human nature can be pretty diverse. I like promoting myself to priest, being self-ordained, after of course writing my blog, which was my process of self-apotheosis. Being God is fun. I recommend it. But if you find yourself drawn to criminality, all I can say is don't get caught. The freedom to swing your fist ends at the tip of my nose, in my view. If we're all the same, then everyone else is God, too (even if they don't know it, or submit to someone else). God is usually defined as love, and as merciful, but there is a time to kill, and vengeance is mine, sayeth the lord. Of course, you don't need to draw on the bible or established religion for your ideology and precepts. The dalai lama said kindness is my religion. Adi Da said Reality is all the god there ever is. Fear of God, then, would be pantophobia! What did Yoda say about fear? “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Nobody wants suffering. Well, their own, anyway. Except the masochists. They can go to hell. I don't believe in an afterlife, good or bad, so I can say that. I'd still like to live for a few thousand years, though, if not be surprised by waking up after death somewhere pleasant and idyllic. The word heaven reminds me of heaving, which reminds me of the myth of Sisyphus, which isn't heavenly at all. Utopia might be a better word. Plus, it's achievable for society, for earth, for humanity, and -in my view- should therefore be the “heaven” we all strive and hope for.  But why stop there? We can make the heavens heavenly too! No limits. Love is part of evol-ution. 

BEING DEVIL

Devil is the opposite of lived, just evil isn't live, just as dog isn't God, and 'essej' isn't me, Jesse. That's my message, a mess of sage. Deep, ain't it? Whoa, nellie! LN says what? Anyway, mm, essej. Delicious! Jesse means God's gift, or God makes forget, or “the whole office of the eucharist.” It's a biblical name, as King David was the son of Jesse, and the genealogy of Jesus is called the Jesse tree. JT, like me (and also like the sign for pi). To share Ra, the ancient egyptian sun god. My mom is Peggy T, which is pretty close to the word Egypt. My dad drives a PT cruiser. My brother's initials are GLT (like the volvo). Larry Teshara can be shortened to Tes-la. My birthday is 9-3, like the Saab, in the year '71, like the Z71 truck. No car, like North Carolina, sob. Scar, like South Carolina (said my voice). The Scientologist said I had low accord. Jesse Teshara Christ =DIE. If you want to crucify me, that's certainly my response. What is the basis of this silly equation? Besides Jesus=Death (=2)

Jesse=15115=4=D. Teshara=2518191=9=I. Christ=389912=5=E. Well, that was fun.

Let's try an easier tack, as mathematical meaning can be a bit mean (Lawrence=31595535=9, btw).

Devil is 4-evil (for evil, uc?). Satan is say, ten (and it is, too...11215). Lucifer is 3339659=2. Mephistopheles is 45789126785351 (14 digits, phew!) =8. So, Lucifer Mephistopheles is Jesus, God!! Go figure. Antichrist =4.

David, Al, Jesse, Four

and Four (I've met someone with the name 'Four'); also, I know an April (the 4^th month)

so many candidates for Antichrist!

I'm against untruth, and I don't believe Jesus (really) walked on water, or changed water to wine.

Just because he did some magic tricks, I'm not going to be his follower.

I think he commanded (or deserved) a dream-world, if in fact those “miracles” even happened.

He said he was the way, the truth, the light. There's a cathedral of light, nearby.

Light is a weird thing, always traveling the same speed, photons being waves and particles, etc.

I don't understand Jesus. Honestly, I don't think Jesus understood Jesus (or light, anyway).

Did he say if I'm not with him, I'm against him?

I don't consider myself an Antichrist, but maybe I am (on his terms).

Christ just means anointed with oil (chrism), so i could make myself christ with some olive oil.

I have no desire to follow in Jesus' footsteps, as I imagine any sane person would as well.

Also, Jesus may have survived his crucifixion, coming back to life later, but he's surely dead now (unless you consider the “body of christ” to be his church-membership)

I kind of identify, actually, with As Earth (my last name), which would be non-exclusionary to non-christians. T' share uh, to share 2, to share Jesus/beast/lucifer/it... Beast is of course “the beast with two backs”, or sex. Lucifer is light, which is like being born (into the light). IT (besides information technology), could therefore stand for being born again. Being “born again” is being a creature of light, being possessed by Jesus, you might believe. If you believe you're Jesus, that seems kinda scary to me, 'cause you would want revenge on your crucifiers (the “anti-christs”), and you could get violent, because you're not yourself anymore.

That's what being the devil is.

Thou shalt not kill (though you shalt not kill, maybe I will!.. vengeance is mine, sayeth the lord)

lord= l or d (life or death) (love or despair) (light or darkness) (Ln or david?) 3 or 4! like or dislike?1or 6

Yay! I Got a New Phone!

my new toy, a "smartphone"

my iphone 5c was a xmas gift from my bro I just got today, that I'm playing with.

-FaceTime is cool (it only works between 2 apple devices).  

-It has maps, a compass, and gives directions, which can be really useful.

-voice recognition, you can dictate texts and emails.

-you can listen to radio, from online (most radio stations stream over the internet).  

i like whrb, especially.

-i can check out websites (like google, or my blog, or the jeopardy archive, or wikipedia, or ted, or youtube)

(or news like csmonitor or cnn)

-local weather (you can permit it to know where you are), camera/pictures, calculator.

-there's WAG, an app (short for application) that will hook me up with people who want a dogwalker.

-i might get a botany app: take a picture of a plant, it'll tell you what it is.

-comedy central has a joke archive..

etc.

so that's why it's "smart".  

i can listen to harvard radio while I read the news or learn trivia, for example.

it doesn't have Siri, like my ipad,
or translation, like the apple watch (but it could, and should!)

don't get smart with me, boy! sorry, too late.

Reifying God

'Reification' and 'Prayer'

1. 'reify' means to make something abstract real
I'm convinced, as I've said earlier, the only way to make 'God' real is to become Him (or Her).

maybe you think Being God is a lie.
Maybe it's one of the "lies we tell ourselves in order to find wholesomeness and truth" (a quote I took from the description of the upcoming play, 'Chester Bailey', in which my cousin Erin's hubby, Dan Clegg,  is playing the title role (a 2-man play!), from 5/25 to 6/12, at the Strand Theater (1127 Market St., SF).  I'm looking forward to seeing it.  And being 'Uncle Jesse', again, to his daughter, due in early March!

also,
2.Today's poem (I get emailed a poem/day, from poetryfoundation.org)
is
'Prayer', by Francisco X. Alarcon
      check it out! ...underlies my philosophy perfectly!
      i'd copy it to this post, but i'm not sure if that's illegal.

My New Year's Res

Resolution, that is

It's to "read a book/day"
a Book-A-Day wouldn't be all that "bad."  In fact, it'd be great!!
And I can cheat by reading children's books :)

This year, so far, I've read:
1.All of Emily Dickinson (off of Bartleby, on the internet)
2.The Man Who Wasn't There, Anil Ananthaswamy (excellent! especially the chapter on schizophrenia)
3.The Comedians, Kliph Nesteroff (only surveyed it (a history of american standup): i.e. read portions about comedians I already knew of)

and lots of children's books (cb's)
1.The Postcard, Tom Abbott (literally the first book on the shelf, children's section!)
2.Elijah of Buxton (Caldecott -children's book award- honor book; i copied the list of winners/honors from wikipedia)

(children's books):
Bermuda Triangle, Looking for Bigfoot, Mysterious Disappearances, Crop Circles, Monster Hunt, The Gods & Goddesses of Ancient China, Alien Investigation, Helen Keller, I Toad You So, Tyrannnosaurus Wrecks, Holiday Howlers, Haunted House jokes, Ha Ha Ha Sidesplitters, 1000 crazy jokes for kids, Bug jokes, You must be joking, Champion crack-ups, Joking Around with chirp, Ivan to make you laugh, Amazing Cows, Greatest goofiest jokes, How do you lift a walrus with one hand?, Biggest riddle book in the world, Going Ape, Punny Places, Foul Play, Real Classy

that's 32 books in 10 days.  not bad, eh?

I borrowed some books from my dad, that are on deck: 
Treasury of Laughter, by Larry Wilde
Encyclopedia of School Humor, by S and S Mamchak
The World's Best Dirty Jokes, by Mr. "J"
More of the World's Best Dirty Jokes, by Mr. "J"

i currently (zap!) have checked out from the library:
It's Not Me It's You, by McFarlane
(and 5 books in spanish: masaje, tae kwon do, kung fu, hipnosis, y forenses)

my reading list also includes:
(authors) Alan Fuerst, Vaclav Smil, Bill Bryson, Terry Pratchett, Robert Reich, Twain, Vonnegut, Carl Hiaasen, Evelyn Waugh, PG Wodehouse; Shakespeare/Proust/Freud, Isaac Asimov, Nikolai Gogol, Patrick Rothfuss, Joe Abercrombie, Gregory J Keyes, Robin Hobb, Daniel Abraham, Maurice Druon, Brent Weeks.

(titles) The Box, by Levinson (about shipping containers); Hyperbole and a half, Brosh; Stuff Matters, Miodownik; How Asia Works, Studwell; On Immunity, Biss; The Rosie Project, Simpson; The Bully Pulpit, Goodwin; Blood Meridian; Moby Dick; The Kingdom of this World; Beyond Good and Evil; El Tunel, Sabato; Don Quixote; Arabian Nights; La Morte D' Arthur; Nocturno de Chile, Bolano; Ficciones, Borges; Epic Measures, Smith; Tap Dancing to Work; The Sixth Extinction; The Better of Our Angels; The Man Who Fed the World; Business Adventures, Brooks; Red Queen; Guns Germs and Steel; I am a strange loop; Character Strengths and Virtues, Peterson and Seligman; No Job No Prob!; Stress Test, Geithner; Making the Modern World, and Should We Eat Meat, Smil; Dante's Inferno; How to be alone; The Fat Cat, Jack Kent.

(topics) literature, fiction (1001 books you must read before you die); caldecott winners/honors; reference books (encyclopedia, atlas, history, languages, vocabulary, slang, biography); poetry (i get a poem/day in my email); trivia; religion, aletheon, buddhism; news; national enquirer, mad magazine. 
origami, cuddle sutra, jokes, prison lit: orange is the new black, inside: life behind bars in america, Santos; Library services to the incarcerated, McCreigh; Inside this place, not of it, Waldman and Levi.  short stories.  bestsellers.  true crime.  horror/fantasy.  self-defense.

basically, everything.

I think I'd be a good audiobook narrator, so I want to sample good examples, such as Scott Brick's work, or Harry Potter, or Edward Herman/Geronimo Stilton.  audiofile magazine, online (through libarary website).

daily 9:
book, spanish, poem/email, this day in history, trivia, vocab, joke, and news!

fund jokes to tell

dolla dolla billz y'all
(of the funny money sort)

who wears a mask while working at a bank?

the loan arranger.

why did the banker keep looking up at the sky?

to see if there was any change in the weather.

why was the banker bored?

because he lost interest in everything.

where can you always find money?

in the dictionary

how can you double your money?

look at it in the mirror

what is an easy way to make your money bigger?

put it under a magnifying glass

how can you make money fast?

glue it to the floor

how did rich people get their money?

they were calm and collected

who makes a million dollars a day?

someone who works at a mint

what happened to the inventor who created the world's first automatic package-wrapping machine?

he made a bundle.

what goes further the slower it goes? $

when can a man be 6 feet tall and short at the same time?

short on funds

if a quarter and a 50cent piece were suicidal, who would jump first?

the quarter, because it has less cents (sense).

what is the difference b/w a crazy rabbit and a counterfeit dollar?

one is bad money, and the other is a mad bunny.

where do trees keep their money?

branch bank

where is the most liquidity?

the river bank

why is the moon like a dollar?

it has 4 quarters

what kind of money do monsters use?

weirdo

profits/prophets.  make your own joke.

oil is a well-kept secret.

should i become an electrician? no, electricians wire for money all the time.

what happened when a skunk, a deer, and a duck went to a fancy restaurant?
the skunk had only a scent, the deer only a buck, so the cost ended up on the duck's bill.

that's 22 jokes.  collect them all!
i tried to make a joke about getting money from a monkey, but it's really strange... 
"Crime doesn't pay unless you steal special k from a monkey!" I know...that's pretty bizarre, right?  well I tried, lol.

My To-Do List

on my plate!

TO DO:

Look good, feel good: *mover, personal trainer, swim instructor, joke teller, good guy.  fit strong healthy sane well.  daily 10m run/jumprope, gym, yoga. Healthy food. Cook. Bay to breakers, marathon. tea@night.

cuddle: Read, print articles. joke-books. fitness.

Psych books, self-help, e.g. Man who wasn't there. Psych today.

My God/religion/spirituality-kick/hobby:

Author: write (from blog), publish; income? upload to youtube.  Research at cal library.  Beth-el svcs/Harvard a.m. Sunday. Religious variety. New blog?

Go camping. JSM, SPA, T14, meetup. Meditate Wpm, shambala.

Garage sales, flea markets, thrift stores. Winchester, hearst. Audit Cal classes. Online oyc, etc.  Big brother, learn languages, ride bus, pow-wow, learn musical instrument, whales and dolphins

Audiobook narrator. Record for blind/jewish: break-in. Beth-el studio? Re-listen youtube video.  Visit lighthouse for blind office in SF. Job reading to blind?

-prisoners/incarcerated/behind bars (jail, prison) read/record audiobooks (e.g. WB/Britannica encyc's (volunteer/job training -paid)

10 kids books/day. 1 adult book.
*Daily gym, book, history, meds/vitamins, brush/floss/rinse, news, spanish, vocabulary, poem, joke

-visit Rosemarie, with Sara and Augustus; kalx free tix (oldfirstchurch)

-Auburn,Pat n Ron,Theresa n Bruce, rental car, return with storage, sell/donate, go through/purge. incorporate in blog. -Wayne and Gloria -Tom and Jeannine -Patrick visit -BBB (beach blanket babylon), Dan's play(s), Stern Grove -uncle Jesse: play dough, bubbles, kites. glycerin, etc. -lead nature hikes. -dental, bfc appt. -chess set  -Schizophrenia.com, sourceamerica.org, intervoiceonline.org; hearing voices movement, -page/day  -brazen flirtation. Crazy sane. -free meals, monthly bfp (food pantry), -diabetes? Levels, blood test, -IRS1093B

Win lotto:

wife/kids/house/car/education;

u.s./world travel; massage; restaurant meals, movies

speedreading, lumosity, aikido/self-defense classes (cssd, kungfu, kravmaga, karate, jujitsu, military)

kit car, windmills, rc helicopter, cool kite, motorized bicycle, telescope, binoculars, bose, hatrack

sports: hockey, soccer, olympics, baseball, frisbee, gymnastics, sumo, martial arts

parades, festivals, state fairs, national parks, monuments, theme parks, roller-coasters, taiko

museums, ballet/opera/symphony/theater/concerts

attend ted, tech fairs, comicon, film festivals, chinese new year

mt. madonna, mtn. home ranch, mt. fuji

buy apple watch, books, mags, kindle, joe frank (nyx -new york times-, csm -christian science monitor-, f.a. -foreign affairs-, economist, people, mad, enquirer, ng -national geographic-)

pre-loaded prison kindles (1001/500/bestsellers/award-winners/law/religious/dictionary/encyc... by and about prison/poetry/short stories/joke books/yoga positions, video?)

causes:  U.S.A.: berkeley free clinic/dfla -democrats for life of america-/bsa -boy scouts of america-/mfa -mercy for animals/troop 14/s.i. (st. ignatius college preparatory)/prison reform

development: kiva/msf (doctors without borders)/unicef/cnn heroes/mfa; comfort

3W libraries, lighting, ovens, soccer balls, pencils, water trikes, computers, infrastructure

basic needs: nutritious food, clean/accessible water, sanitation, housing, clothing, blankets, healthcare

WAR: eliminate slavery, war, torture, murder, crime, illness, obesity, premature death; chess.

Ideas I Have for Fun Jobs

all y'all lemme know if you have any other ideas, or opportunities

JOBS:

Active:

__ dogwalker, __doggy daycare (richmond, oakland), __run errands (on bicycle [get trailer? Second basket?]; task-rabbit, groceries, etc.), __postal carrier, deliver letters, __mover, __bellhop: claremont, __walk/jog with people (conversational companion, e.g. around lake merritt); exercise partner. __lead nature hikes. __learn, teach martial arts,__personal trainer/exercise instructor/fitness guru

At home:

__babysitting. parenting magazines, first aid, turning off gas, etc. dogsitting/housesitting. __surveys, online. __author, write a book, publish. (blog as source material), __medical transcriptionist? __audiobooks: children's books, etc. __ make fence-windmills,  __read encyclopedia(s) into audio, for the blind/commuters/those who prefer spoken format.

Development:

__Build shelters for homeless? To go where? Connect homeless with property-owners (in back yards?) __mental health advocates, __pro-life/dfla, __peta/mfa, __no nukes, non-'mutually assured destruction' security, __no slavery, more freedom __ prison reform, happy prisoners __ less homelessness, more comfort, __ no war, more kindness/tolerance, __ no torture, more pleasure, __ no hunger,malnutrition, starvation, waste, better logistics for distribution of nutritious food; __less sickness, more vitality, __ less death, more feeling alive!, __less crime, more kindness, __less injustice, more freedom, __ less pain, more fitness, __ less suffering, more bliss, __ less depression, more positive and rewarding engagement, __ less anxiety, more equanimity, calm, and joy, __ less hate, more love, __ less insanity/delusion, more truth.

Street Positive:

__ free hugs, hug and a joke, sell free hug t-shirts!! joke and a hug (25cents), __ + trivia, vocabulary, __ teach origami, __do magic tricks, ___balloon animals, __free coffee (ask me how button?) (make sign, need permit?) __ self-defense moves, __ juggle, __ have library food resource sheet to distribute, __ vegetarian lit __ positivity t-shirt (negative behind you?)

Data (learn, & make learning fun):

__ incorporate all trivia (proprietary?), or just J! into apple watch app/ tablet prisoner activity? (wbsm -win ben stein's money-, j!archive, cash cab, ww2bam, smarter than a 6^th grader, snapple facts, uhaul, national geographic, trivial pursuit, ntn (buzztime [bar trivia]), knowledge trainer, wikipedia game, fun trivia, trivia crack, quizup, college bowl, quizbowl, Lawrence, Williams, wwsp... geography bee, (can it be consolidated?),  __ prisoners reading/recording books into audio. 'prison audiobook coordinator' paid to read books? Related, research: read books by prisoners, and/or about prison. __GTU librarian? St. Ignatius librarian. __ Academic research (assistant?) __personal project: access to Cal libraries (for own book)

Touch (for the lonely, elderly, disabled):

__ professional cuddler; non-sexual cuddling, hugging, affection, snuggling, touch;kind, friendly, good. Jokes, news, etc. __ masseur, massage class, get table. Check on restrictions, legality, status. 

Death

All (male) dogs are sons of bitches.

All humans have rights (and lefts).

If all dogs go to heaven, do all cats go to hell?

All people go nowhere, but around the sun, yet again.

My take on death:

There are no afterlives. Once you die, you're dead.

That's it, kaput, over, done, finished. No more. Oblivion.

Except for decay, decomposition, the transformation of your flesh to flies.

Those are the only wings you can hope for. Forget becoming an angel. Everyone rots.

Unless you're mummified or burned into cremains. But nothing you would call you.

Death isn't black or silent. There is no consciousness. It's non-being, non-existence.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Even your bones will disappear.

Time is eternal: infinite past, infinite future.

There was a before the big bang, and

There will be infinite 'years' even after the earth no longer revolves around the sun.

In aeons of time, our lives are like blips. In the vast of space, our size is infinitesimal.

Death, The End. We are like bubbles: you're gonna pop.

But we are not alone. It happens to everyone. The universal fate.

Life is transitory, ephemeral, temporary, fugacious.

No consciousness after life, as before-life.

Merrily, life is but a dream. And you wake up. Or die.

All good things must come to an end. Bad things, too.

When your number's up, you're finished.

Nothingness. Always. Eternally. Forever. Infinity.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Bupkis. Zero.

For all. Forever “and ever.” Ha.

Living dead. Zombies, vampires, buddhists.

One with the Universe, dead matter, burning stars, void

all people, no sides or sects or aversions or attachments.

Emptiness, insubstantiality, void, impermanence

The Awakened One, Buddha

it seems obvious.
but I admit I could be wrong.  I'd actually like to be!
I still think the only "souls" are the soles of our feet...
Eternal reward sounds fun.  Heaven would rule.
Or at least a few thousand more years of life!!
But what is heaven?  Heaven is not being in hell.
I would forego heaven to make sure no one was in hell.
Bodhisattva consciousness.
Getting people out of hell sounds like a rewarding and happy project.
 
....Theoretical blather.  Heaven and hell is now!
Help create an enlightened society.  a better world.
shambala.  utopia. heaven. disneyland? berkeley?
whatever you wanna call it! earth, ideally.
one person at a time, one day at a time, self-help protocol

i wanna say you don't have to believe in heaven to get there.
Henry Ford said "if you think you can, or if you think you can't, you're right"
That's the sense in which you should believe, as I see it -
(not waiting to wake up somewhere ideal after death).

Heaven and hell are all in your head, not necessarily:
being in prison, or a war-torn country, or dying of cancer.
or
Some friends, some good food, some music, some exercise endorphins, some money or gifts, a movie, a good book, sex, enough sleep, comfort...

happiness is relative.  There's always someone better or worse off than you.

Grateful Dead?  Death is the end of suffering, certainly.  Resting in peace, in the hope of rising again, a slick way of putting it.  a "certain hope".  The hope is certain, but the rising is most definitely not.  I am convinced immortality isn't possible, like the fountain of youth of yore.  You wouldn't want to keep aging!!  And if you're dead, you can't be grateful.  But you can be grateful you are ABOUT to die (Or that you are not already in hell).   Deathbed forgiveness is a valuable service, if it relieves the suffering attached to (the/one's) fear of going to an afterlife hell. 

derivative thought (from the above paragraph)
about a bout.  the-ology.  God is 'one'.  weird.  Bob Weir.  strange.  Camus' the stranger.

death psychology
1.in hell on the deathbed (already), grateful for death as the end of suffering
2.in hell on the deathbed, from the fear of going to afterlife hell.
3.in peace on the deathbed, hopeful for heaven
4.in peace on the deathbed, without hope for heaven or fear of hell.
some mix of all of the above!  see what happens!
go to the light?  the left hand path?  the door to the right? 
choice of reincarnation, heaven, ghost, vampire, avatar... oblivion
hell (in norway?!), purgatory, different levels of heaven/circles of hell, limbo
what fun

personally, i think certainty of oblivion is both the truth, and the best choice.  Maybe I'll hope for heaven when the time comes.  But the surprise will be greater if I don't!
my godfather, Richard Zonca, died recently (11/22/2015)
"entered into rest", not a bad euphemism.

Devil's Advocate

Opposite View (of yesterday's post, below this one)
for the sake of argh!ument..

1. Let 'em fry in hell. Don't give them anything. Treat them like terrorists. Torture is sometimes, or rather often, in fact, merited. Karma is a bitch. Interrupt their sleep. Make the food shitty. Bang on the walls all the time. Deny access to legal advice, music, books. Ensure they never want to come back. Let the rotten bastards rot. They deserve monsters. Beatings are required for discipline and order. Rape and violence are the necessary deterrent component of any effective criminal justice system.
2. Jails and prisons should be centers of pain and suffering, not education, training, and learning. If we are to have a civilized society, we need to mercilessly punish transgression, and make incarceration cheaper, so as to fund greater priorities, such a education (for those that obey the rules, and don't break the law).
3. The death penalty is the human condition. We are all condemned. But “the wages of sin is death” says the good book. Criminals should die earlier.
4. prisoners should be made an example of. They should be trained to fight, and put on display in gladiatorial combat, where the losers are injured and killed, in full view of a spiteful public.
5. Incarceration should be a boring, mind-numbing, soul-killing protracted period of time, staring at the walls, contemplating one's evil past and sinful nature, and longing for freedom (not an exciting, stimulating, enjoyable place where friends congregate in communities/gangs).
6. They say America has the highest incarceration rate in the world, but I say More people should be locked up, because human nature is wicked, and we are all deserving because of original sin.
7. Make sure to victimize prisoners to the same, or greater, extent that they victimized society. That's what justice is: State's revenge.
8. Racist gangs are a necessary and welcome component of prison life, as they make life adversarial, like a game, which is necessary for the drama and excitement of a life well-lived, in which everyone is for themselves, anyway. Gangs are an expression of community, and foster friendships and “family.” They are natural and healthy, like sports fan communities, or service in the military, as an expression of nationalist identity and pride.
9. Rape should be tolerated, because only a small fraction of society is naturally homosexual, and homosex is the only outlet for sexual tension and frustration for the confined. Rape is an initiation into the joys of homosexual intercourse, and powerplay is part of the thrill.
10. Capital punishment should be expanded to include crimes of any and all severity or lack thereof. If littering were a capital offense, the streets would stay clean. States already have the power to murder, by declaring war, or allowing abortion, or selling mousetraps, and human life has little value, in a world headed for universal oblivion, and which deserves to die.
11. Prison should be a place of unremitting anger, hatred, and rage. A place of torments. They have it coming, and deserve every bit of discomfort, misery, pain, and suffering. Muahahaha! Let the hellish retribution commence!

New Sheriff In Town

Dear Sheriff Vicki Hennessy!

1. the ideal justice system
   regret, forgiveness, resolve to be good/not commit further crime, release
   “go forth and sin no more”
   (is justice the same as revenge? Is there not already a universal (extrajudicial) law of karma?)
2. incarceration as punishment, depriving of freedom, compounds the original crime:
   negative for negative, eye for an eye, leaves the “whole world blind”.
   Suffering must always and everywhere be lessened and ameliorated. Joy must be sought.
   Kindness must guide our response to evil and crime, not merciless or ruthless vengeance.
   The “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” should be borne with equanimity.
3. rewards and punishments, carrots and sticks, inducements, intelligent use of the principles of psychology, pleasure and pain, comfort and discomfort, heaven and hell, bliss and torture, love and hate, joy and depression, health and sickness, hope and despair, security and threat, all factor into justice and rehabilitation. Happiness Psychology should be put into practice in jails and prisons, as in the rest of society, and around the world.
4. Books, buddhism, meditation, yoga, aikido, and fitness are some of the things that make my life better, and which I think ought be made available and prevalent in incarcerated environments. Vegetarianism should be an option. The amount of suffering in factory farms is at least as big a problem as human suffering.
5. Gangs, racism, violence, rape, and drugs should not be a part of any prisoner's daily life and reality. Good food and medications, however, can make life better and enjoyable. A prisoner getting aids, a type of death sentence, should not be a possibility.
6. When I was in Sacramento County Jail, the ventilation and 2-way speaker system were located in the same place. Prisoners put damp toilet paper over the vent, so as not to be heard, which results in stuffy cells, and even difficulty breathing.
7. Prisoners can be useful members of society, even live happy and productive lives, doing such activities as fighting fires, picking up trash, reading and writing books, recording audio-books (for the blind, as well as commuters), earning degrees, and even doing science. Scaring people straight, of course, is valuable (although, preferably, the horror-stories should be lies).
8. Prison should not be “gladiator school”. But fitness and self-defense, the teaching and learning of martial arts, can be empowering, if paired with emphasis on a peaceful philosophy, as does Aikido.
9. I think prisoners should have access to a large and diverse library, both digitally as well as “portable reading devices” (bound books!). The bay area community, in my view, should be allowed to donate books to those locked up. Best-sellers, award-winners, books by other prisoners, and recommended reading (such as from lists like the “1001 books you must read before you die”) could all be a part of a body of (approved) literature. If books are restricted to tablets, they could be adjustable in size (big-print, for less eye-strain), such as my wikipedia app has on my ipad mini. Also, reference books like new languages, dictionary/thesaurus, encyclopedias, the bible, etc. In my view, all books are equally holy. A yoga position guide!

Persimmon-picking

Me, at Mission San Jose (in Fremont), helping the nuns with their garden (with my beard!)

prr simmons said the Cat-holic!
(not to be confused with pomegranates!)
I ate a sweet, crispy one, and an even sweeter mushy one on Friday (for the first times)
_____
other christian-linguistic thoughts:
Painting fingernails is evil!
sinner! she-devil! satan-worshipper! antichrist! demon-spawn!
what, what, what? you say?

get it- it (subliminally/on another level) elicits the crucifixion:
linguistic deconstructionism:
paint: pain/t
pain.
T as a cross.

nails:
fingernails: (crux-affix =crucifix) (nine inch nails, for example)(to get "nailed")
the 3 nails that crucified Jesus.

Did Jesus the carpenter use nails?  were fingernails called nails in Aramaic, too? Does ham have any cryptic relation to a hammer?  nailing pigs? fuck the police? pork slaughter?

get your "fix" from the "passion" (sex, drugs, and rocknroll!)
weekly mass...weak male ass? mm, ass. (bacon? weak donkey?)
allright, not everything makes sense.  scents. cents.
all write?

seriously, though, it's weird that painting nails has 3 embedded references, no?
one has no relation at all to the other!
(except maybe accidentally hammering your thumb)

Mask vs. Real

External vs. Internal (thought/feelings)

Polite  vs.
                  annoyed, angry, hating (aha!) (gr)...stupid, trite, boring

Listening, Interested vs.
                  self-absorbed, thinking (sat!)..don't care, bored

Serious vs.
                  humorous (critical, judgemental, mocking, joking, absurd)

also:

well vs. tormented
english vs. spanish
ordinary vs. extraordinary

my life, lately

by Jesse L Teshara

happy halloween, i have a cirque du soleil mask to wear.
i met a checker at trader joe's whose name is Ween.
- and Alexis at ashby avenue (aaaaa!)
 we watched CSI svu, and Law and Order
(blasts from the past)

I read The Betrothed, by Manzoni not too long ago.
and Interesting Times, by Terry Pratchett
-working on my third trivia book (perfectly useless information, by Symons),
after finishing Pinkie is more powerful  than your thumb, by Vincenzo
and Book of the Bizarre, by Varla Venturi..  

my dad is happily back home (in SF) from rehab (in Pacifica).
my friend Sara (with Augustis) is visiting Rebecca in Tennessee
I had a vietnamese sandwich with them (SPA), last thurs.
I have a serious, full-on beard, of late- scruffy and shaggy!
i bought a sushi burrito yesterday, and a strawberry paleta tuesday.
I walked Fido and Taco in San Leandro from 8a to 9a, on Tuesday, too
(FaT two's day!)  I often get a pastor taco there, from los pericos restaurant.
i used up my starbuck's gift cards on cups of morning coffee-
i'm wearing my "lavese las monos" t-shirt
(it's a spanish pun -retruecano- ... wash your monkeys! ('manos' is hands)
i'm looking forward to getting a smart phone for x-mas

my bmi says I'm overweight (212 at 6'1), (maybe i'm 6'2)
and that my range should be between 140-189 (!!) Only 23 to go.
my (schizophrenia) symptoms have been much less, of late (Yes!!)
i almost feel healthy.  Is it possible?! that would be fantastic.

Musical Schizophrenia

Sarah Machlachlan or Black Sabbath?

Yes.  Both!  I like them both, anyway.
I'm a hawkish dove.  trying to be an owl.
save the puppies and kittens, and blow up the terrorists!  It's the same thing.  Well, trying to be.  Pro-life, pro quality of life, death to death-dealers...

in the arms of the angels...
fairies wear boots...

If only terrorists could all be locked up instead of murdered as enemy combatants, so they could:
fight fires, pick up trash,
read and write books, make/record audiobooks
earn degrees, do science,
scare people straight,
(empower themselves through body-building
and teaching/learning martial arts)
be contributing citizens,
live happy and productive lives...
(what else?)

instead of indirectly causing the deaths of non-targeted civilians (as collateral damage, unintended consequences), which is in today's (Huffington) news.

 I saw a video on fb of a hawkish series of bird's eye video of drone strike explosions set to Black Sabbath, supposed to fire me up in patriotic fervor and pride in our bad-ass military, eliminating American-enemy 'ragheads', who don't know who the hell they're fucking with.

It's an ugly world, and this kind of thing can be viscerally satisfying, but it's not working, it's creating more enemies and ill-will, and it needs to stop.  It's overkill, and unjust, and basically evil.  The military culture (kill em all, let god sort em out?) behind this illegal, immoral, unethical drone practice (if not policy) isn't humane or compassionate, it's criminal.  The dark side is a bitch, I know.  But even soldiers shouldn't be allowed to kill with impunity (despite what 'Be all you can be' might imply).

anyway,
here's another article (on schizophrenia), which I guess is relevant.. 

Unity of Humanity

Politics and Religion seem to fragment, aggravate, and divide humankind-

BUT
We're all in the same boat, we're all in this thing together, for better or worse -a worldwide community, the global village, spaceship earth, the third rock from the sun, floating in space, out here all alone, in this lonely spiral arm of the milky way galaxy..

No matter what we believe, in religion or politics, we should help our fellow man, our fellow citizens, and strive to make a better world for All (including animals, foreigners, strangers, enemies, prisoners, the rich, the poor, of all backgrounds and persuasions, alike and different).

We're all human, and much more alike than we are different.  Right?
War is never good, and demonization is always a step in the wrong direction.
Let's do the right thing, and respect and appreciate and be grateful for one another; be kind and helpful and friendly, and strive to be happy and pleasant and cheerful and even humorous.

Personally, I find all religions interesting, if not "trippy," and my idea of fun is visiting lots of different kinds of religious services, sampling the variety, and broadening my perspective, and integrating it all into "one ball of wax."  Maybe it's my virgo nature that likes to analyze all the philosophies, beliefs, dogmas, practices.  I prefer critical thinking to blind faith and obedience, such as when an entire congregation slavishly (like zombies, in my opinion) recite the songs, prayers, and creeds put before them.  I would like to see rigid sectarianism and exclusivity replaced with global openness and curiosity about all forms of spirituality and religious expression.  Why not everybody as everything!?  We really could be!  (It's biblical, actually.  god is love, and love believes in all things)
1 John 4:8/4:16b; 1 Corinthians 13:7

My mom says "to each his own" and we should only believe in things "good and true," which is the flip side of the same coin.  Human nature is varied, and diversity is good, and maybe everybody is wrong! (which also needs be considered, if not believed.)  Does anybody actually believe in something bad and false?!  Actually, I'm not sure it matters one iota what anyone believes.  I believe in freedom, so no one should be persecuted for their beliefs, right or wrong.  But you are free to believe otherwise!  Of course, they say the Pope is infallible (!).

Am I a Hypocrite?

Declaring Myself God might appear "A Bit Much"

I think I'm a good person, and that's all I'm really saying.  (the bible says Only God is good)
And I think everybody is basically good, and has the power to create their personal Utopia/Heaven for themselves.

But I realize it seems arrogant, conceited, proud, superior, condescending, pretentious, self-indulgent...

as well as
commonly perceived as a "messiah complex" (i.e. mentally ill)

I actually think my ideas in this blog serve a valuable purpose of bridging the divide between Theists and Atheists, as well as providing common ground for Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, Jews, etc.

I'm just an amateur philosopher, who enjoys thinking about this stuff as a kind of hobby.
And I find it satisfying Being God (!), as a way/example of being in the world. Join the party!  Be on the same team, of corporate Goodness, Godco, I am who am, Love, etc.

I still eat meat sometimes, and hate (seriously, it's rough), and consider myself fully human...which I suppose makes me hypocritical.
I'm working on it.
-Jess

further clarification of what this blog is all about-

Throughout history, and around the world, in many traditions, mystics have sought unity with the divine.  For me, being God is not a transcendent experience, but rather a simple fact of everyday existence.  All it requires is to Be Good.  To be "One with the Universe" is to simply be yourself.  Divinity is One's natural state.  

Why I Like Bernie

check out feelthebern.org!

a few good reasons, in my view:
1.I believe in Universal Healthcare, for one.  (I think it should be a human right, globally, in fact)

2.I also think education should be free.  I think paying for degrees is basically a scam and a con -if libraries are free, then so should be education -it could ALL go online, as I see it. Bernie supports making public colleges and universities free (for those who get in), which I think is spot on.
(Education is basically just moving information from some people's brains to others'  (through conversations, instruction, reading books, online);  I actually think all books should be online, free, for everyone, too, like the free courses that are already available, as well as -of course- Wikipedia.  Expensive textbooks could be free, accessible online, in my book.  You agree, right?

3.I think we should keep billionaires from buying our elections.

4.Society would benefit greatly if corporations responsibly paid their share of taxes.

5. (well paying) jobs from improving U.S. infrastructure.

6. He's not Republican, not Hillary, and not Trump.
BS over b.s.!

7. He's the most liberal (which is a good thing, in my opinion (except for abortion).  He's got the right idea. You know where he stands.  He's not a flip flopper, and doesn't waffle.  He's had the same views forever.  He supports a healthy debate, a national conversation, and puts the "social" in socialism, which is what a healthy democracy should be all about.

Tomorrow night is the democratic debate, 5:30pm.
I'll be at the Bernie party at Ohmega Salvage, in Berkeley.
Go Bernie! 
He strikes me as ornery, grumpy, a bit crotchety, lol
but that's not really all that bad, and possibly what we need, anyway.
fire in his belly, as they say.

Words and Religion

such as 'Wards' and 'Jinn/gin'-

“Reality is all the God there ever is” is a quote (by Adi Da) that I subscribe to.

Reality is the only thing that is infinite.

Space and time, in both directions, bigger and smaller, past and future.

We are all our ancestor's afterlives.

Heaven is love-bliss, hell is torture (during our lifetimes).

'Oblivion' has I live on in it. But we are like bubbles, every one of us will pop.

'Hell' is similar to the contraction for he will. 'Paradise' is similar to a pair of dice.

Heart is hater, rearranged. (or, also, the word 'earth')

Soil is an acronym for sex, orgasm, intimacy, love: it's the soil from which our tree of life grows.

Evolution has love in it. The devil is to lived, as god is to dog.

Funeral has fun in it. Laughter has ugh in it. Warmth has war in it. Cold has old in it.

Hope is a town in Arkansas. Hell is a village in Norway. Paradise is near Chico.

Joy is a dish soap. Money rearranges to My One.  God is One.  In God we trust.

Hatred conjurs a red hat. Death is hated, rearranged. The letter T looks like a cross, so:

Paint conjurs pain on a cross. A cross would make me cross. You can't cross a street.

Couch also evokes such suffering: c-ouch. C is the 3^rd letter, like 3 nails.  Also, there's 'touch'.  Touched by VAST (visual audio sensory theater) is a cool song.  T-ouch, mr. T-pain.

Allah could be All ahh. Or, to be legalistic, a law. Or, to be cryptic, All a H.

H could stand for a hospital, harvard, or honda, for example.

The word honda means 'deep' in spanish.

Islam almost deconstructs to Is Lame. Buddhism makes me think of hissing a boo.

Christian makes me think of Chris' chin. Christ is Chris T is Chris Tucker.

Just as Tom Hanks is to thanks. Britney Spears is an anagram for Presbyterians.

China has chin in it, too. The plate tectonics of your kitchen china. North American chi.

Communion sounds sexy. I'll wafer you outside.  Is Mass out? No, but you're shirt's untucked. Sun, the light-hearted heavenly body of christ. Jesus has Zeus in his name, in spanish. Eucharist rearranges to u a christ. Eat a hostess with your host.

I find it interesting that printer and internet have inter in them.

If you speak slytherin, you could be subliminally sinister. Inter- resting IS interesting.

A mosquito is not a little mosque. America has Erica in it. The bay area sounds like bury ya/bearya.

USA is us, you say? The body politic, another corporation. Hello has hell in it. Pillow has p.l.o in it.

The answer to what's up is High. Or, the opposite direction from gravity.

Good morning has mourning in it. And I don't usually think of breakfast as breaking a fast.

The phrase “all right” elicits for me Dostoevsky's quote “without God, all is permitted.”

Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side? He's all right now.

God is love. Without love, is all permitted? And with love, have you lost freedom?

By my count, Freedom has 5 meanings, 5 opposites:

free and enslaved, free and incarcerated, free and busy, free and oppressed, and free and expensive.
Also (addendum: of course, there's Determinism, too; #6) (Dee-bio?)

As the bible says, do you not know that you are not your own?

And, as Alice in Chains sang, if I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead.

That's all folks. Good bye. To God. A dios.

Science of Happiness

there's a (free!) UC BerkeleyX class on this topic online!

I plan on taking it, and creatively putting its insights onto this post!  stay tuned, to be continued!
link

Coursera has a course in "learning how to learn."  Sounds like a good place to start.  I also want to learn speed reading.  Edx also has classes in Quran and Development, which also sound interesting to me.