False Advertising

 Bamboozled

Hoverboards don't hover

Self-cleaning ovens require cleaning

Bladeless fans have blades

Seedless watermelons have seeds (how else do you plant them?)

Walmart sells walls?  Chicken of the sea?  Seahorses?

AT&T:   American Telephone and (Telegraph?!?)

aside: 

"It's all good" OR contrast between-

1.Wickedness evil sin turpitude iniquity transgression depravity corruption and cruelty !

2.Virtue service love goodness kindness mercy compassion forgiveness truth peace happiness justice!

heaven (good life, well-being, life-satisfaction / good mood, positive psychology, hedonics) as joy bliss cheer contentment satisfaction ecstasy rapture fun play laughter games pleasure delight amusement fulfillment (all of 2).   Alive, in love, eternally.   Good food, sex, diversion, variety.   Strong, fit, healthy, well, sane.  *

hell as suffering, pain, discontent, dissatisfaction, misery, depression, nausea, discomfort, guilt, torture, torment, trauma, abuse, rape (all of 1).   Unceasing agony, distress, and affliction.   For all eternity.    Weak, sick, unwell, ill.   Prison, lake of fire.   

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FAR:   Friendships And Relationships go far

happy habits happen

gratitude and savoring put gas in your engine

Teshara, to share RA (recognize and appreciate) 

smoke a fag, eat a fruit

glut starve, feast famine, banquet xerophagia

Barry's buried berries, Stu stew, get your Phil Collins is so PC

naughty nautical, emphatically lymphatic, sole soul (fishy)

BLD, blondes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (lewd food)..   (like Trump, Rumpelstiltskin, pumpkins, and crumpets).   a holiday song about hollandaise sauce.  Holly daze.

Jesus Christ, God;  cheeses rice, Godiva!  holy pie-hole.

Malfeasors, wrongdoers, criminals, and nefarious types...and demons devouring delightful delectable delicious morsels of succulent tender juicy child-flesh

police in place, please

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*Heaven, continued:   Spirituality, relationships, leisure, resilience, exercise, sleep, meditation, music, diversion, entertainment, (good job, money, awesome stuff, true love, perfect body, good grades - much less than we think), drugs and diet...  character trait strengths (curiosity, honesty, love of learning, judgment, bravery, social intelligence, kindness, hope, self-regulation, prudence, love, creativity, forgiveness, perspective, appreciation of beauty and excellence, zest, spirituality, gratitude, perseverance, humor, teamwork, fairness, leadership, humility).   Savoring, gratification, pleasure, delight, euphoria, elation, ecstasy, ebullience, exhilaration, exultation, exuberance, glee, felicity, joy, cheer, not-blue, not-depressed, happiness.   Flow-state doing something difficult and worthwhile (immersed, on, in the zone, lost track of time, serene, focused, in the moment, arousal, control, concentration, skill, challenge, reward, efficacy, self-confidence).  Service, making a difference.   Dedication, hard work, growth mindset (welcoming learning from mistakes, curiosity about subjects over motivation for mere grades say, less validation of own intelligence and more seeking of improvement).  Friends, family, lovers, conversations (with anyone), less solitude, life is better in presence of others.  Free time, prioritizing time over money.   Living in here and now, focus on present.  Nutrition.  Productivity.  Cocaine.  

social media, scattered/all over the place/wandering mind, false expectations make us UNhappy (just married! becomes just....married), in addition to trials and tribulations, like breakups, car accidents, HIV diagnosis, victimization, etc.    IT'S ALL RELATIVE, you're happy or unhappy relative to those around you.  Happiness is not an absolute.   Unless you're enlightened and have reached Nirvana or something.

fun thought:  UST is 21,19,20 is 312 is 6 is sex.   Thrust Bust Lust Must!  (rusty at thrusting?)

Whoa:    GOD is just a Gust Of Dust !!   (Genesis 1:2, Ecclesiastes 3:20) (moved over the deep, to dust you shall return, etc.)

Heaven: Frolic and cavort in blissful felicity with the gods, deities, angels, saints, and heavenly host, on 7th heaven, with the paladins behind Paradise's palisade, as an immortal in love, with every need met, every desire fulfilled, and every opportunity for joy available.    Put simply, though, Heaven is NOT being in Hell!  God:  Beyond religion but a part of all of them.

Hell: Burn for all eternity in the lake of fire in the pit of hell, you wicked evil depraved satanic insidious dangerous vicious spirits!!!  At peak puke.  

What is the Good Life?  contentment and satisfaction, joy and bliss, pleasure and love, and humor, play, diversion, entertainment, distraction, and freedom (e.g. free time).  Enough money for your needs and wants (and only wanting within your means).  Meaning and purpose.  Service and kindness and charity and goodwill and positivity.   Sex, intimacy, affection, massage, touch.   Met need (basic needs and otherwise).  And being strong, fit, healthy, well, sane, with good habits, good diet, good exercise, and good sleep (not too much or too little).   Mind-maintenance (meditation, reading, writing, good conversation).  Creativity and productivity and engagement.  Fulfillment.   Resilience.  Growth.   Simplicity.  Balance.   Passion and connection.  Being present.   Gratitude and using your strengths.   Making meditation a regular habit / practice.  Effort and dedication.   Practice random acts of kindness, begin a meditation practice (sit, write, ponder), and exercise daily.    Specificity!  An hour a day!  pushups, stretches / yoga, jumprope, dumbbell, low-impact dog walking, and exercises off the ACE online exercise-library.   

Heaven is biochemical.   Like dopamine.  Involving the pleasure and reward center of the brain.  Not being raptured into some foggy cloud in the sky as a ghost or spirit or soul or immaterial essence!!