BLOB

Buttload of books

(I’m a) bucket o’ blood, with a buttload of books on my bucket list

(But a butt load itself is not on my bucket list)

Identity statement, sense of self

V’s

Jesse, you love your you

This IS kind of me

jess, you ARE a bit human (gods are like, whatever)

You are sort of real, jess

You’re in harrowing mode, Jesse

Queer choir, annals of anality, heard the herd

Reasons to live, things to look forward to

Maybe a baby (for many men)

Scar - survival, consciousness, alive, real

BBBBB: (I’m a) bucket (of) blood 

              (with a) buttload (of) books (on my) bucket-list

(I am, and will be, satisfied, even without completion)

      A bottomless supply of books

I have no aspiration to be 

    a prophet or spiritual healer 

    with supernatural powers

aspire to inspire

inspire, respire, perspire, and decrease ire

churchy:  G's us, glory to kp (kingdom, power):

hear i.m. (instant messaging), I cum 2 dew yore Will, you're will iz mai de-light, will and W, ill.  LWT (last will and testament), test of mint, dd, destroyed death, brought light (but the sun may kill us), diss sigh pulls, tired of Tyre, inside Sidon, unclean spirits, UC spirit, studying Shakespeare at Cal, reading at reed, studs studying, suitors in suits, be you T, full (stomach), dyed and died, respect the new specifications, (Gary) Hart's heart, Heavenly Father (did parenting well), transition to sitting, chair and charity, respond to spawn, kindly killing devil, re-ligious (again), con-secrated (convicts becoming holy), give life, give blood, re-ward in heaven (on heaven as it is on earth), inheritance, in hair it tints, sing blessings, daughters on dot, earth as a blue dot, Jung and yutes, cry iced r lored, lard gawd, foe, fruit of the earth, bred of lyfe, HH humming Han, ho-lee church, chur (commune in eastern Switzerland), gr ace, ack sept aunts,  wurd 2 yor muther, marvel us works, hev'n and urth (ruth?), hith (hosanna in the highest, ho's Anna on acid), upon a pawn, like the dewfall but don't fall, passion and ash, GU global underground and given up, gave it (gay v it), drink from it, doctor ink fro m it, poured and poor, held and healed and helled, worthy were thee, what up G?, god almighty father, gay as fuck, on earth as it is in heaven, outdoors like the bedroom, take away the sins of the world, subtract sows, eat pork, command, come manned, cum man, ah men, sow, spring of waters (of life), permit, prr mitt (cat catcher), BH, blessed hope, safe from all distress, SAD makes you happy, grant us peace, ants and guppies, aunts and pies, peas and gr, god/religion, sol healed (a beer that hit the spot).  lamb of god sounds delicious.  silence of the lambs, eating christians? wordplay, gets crazy, hope you found it at least a little interesting.

Lies, Leos, and laying low

 God lies

The bible even says so

God is a man of war, the art of war is deception

God said if you eat of the tree you will surely die

But they didn’t (at least not yet)

Does baptism wash a baby clean of original sin?

I don’t believe in the story of Adam and Eve, or of the existence of sin

Born flawed, somehow, in need of forgiveness?

No, babies are pure, helpless, guiltless, in need of milk

‘Milk’ is my code for mil (a thousand, in spanish) reasons people k (kill)

A baby would kill for milk, lol

Is that it?

bad, bible and death

    Dogma, female dog, bitch, obituary (is how they connect)

pc, pairs and couples

him, humbly implore mercy

mw, merriam-webster, make wise

SI, self-inquiry

   Know thyself (biblically? Masturbation!)

   Get a handle on self, or at least a hand

   Master bay shun (leaving the bay area, moving elsewhere)

Pp, persons and phenomena, parts and pieces

cc, causes and conditions

Com, cum, calm, commerce, computer, completion

self-concept, residual self-image, vs. no-self

emptiness, no-self, and selflessness (unselfish behavior)

chair, charity, and chariot (and un-charted territory)

Threat! of no-self (to being alive, conscious, survival)

www, what women want, genes and resources (GR)

Eggs-istence (existence of ex)

wit, wishful thinking

AI (Jesse is Isai in spanish:  Anger, Indignation) (madness)

Pie, is not a purely intellectual experience!

lie, lack of inherent existence

Self, multiple selves, multiple roles (elves?)

Body, mind, memories, what eat less what you excrete, dna, microbiota, communities you’re a part of, dynamic not static, always changing, approaching death.

Lyirc- will you ever finally reach a point of knowing?

    Omniscience? No.   A subject, or a field of knowledge?  Probably not completely!

    Biblical knowing?  Easy peasy.

I enjoy life, want it to continue a long time, desire experience

           Creating structure and order from chaos, K-oss

I am attached to health, happiness, growing in years, age, wisdom

I love self, reality, writing/processing, growth

U, smile/happiness (joy, bliss), universe, you

I have a bucket list (of books)

My body is a bucket of blood, a bag of bones, blood and guts!

My discontent is my content, dissed (disrespected)

  (not really, I appreciate constructive criticism, engagement)

I enjoy my “Godyssey”.  Memories, evolution of understanding, journey.

I enjoy books, reading, travel, eating, music, movies/video, etc.

I am not my dna (I am not an identical twin or clone)

Moment of death (MODern, urn!)

Can consciousness persist past death?  Maybe it CAN (if not does)

Pp, possible persistence, eta eternal

Hens in heaven.  AF, almighty father.  FA, flying away.

Pah! Pain, Affliction

re-animated, like beavis and butthead (butting heads, like rams)

Voices (v’s), AV (absence, vacuity)

MT empty mind, refilled, fill, refresh, your spirit on a mountain top!

   Tibetan corpses left on mountain… ("sky burial", excarnation)

ex-carnation, lol, excoriation, incarnation, in a car nation (like usa, us)

Figure of speech, fig and peach, flower flow

“always” enjoyed something

Like AA (all of the above)

ghost dawg

G-D, some shit 

Collective soul, consciousness, unconscious, corporate group-think, i.e religions/nations/cultures/languages, scouting, west coast, Bay Area...   a concept that includes (spirit, ghost, soul, anima, psyche, mind, intellect, head, heart, emotions) mind, mined, mine, nevermind

I forgot flooding, drought, hurricanes, tornadoes, squalor, stress, anxiety, worry, atrocity, sins of commission, and sins of omission

Peace, carrying a piece, the police, plea, lease, peas, pee (revised), 'Peese' is a lab at Cornell University (process energy environmental systems engineering)

PH, Paris Hilton, peace and happiness, purity and healing (sera ph im)

S and M, should and must, ow ow (now and at the hour, of our death)

aces:  peace, grace, embrace

teaching and preaching to each the I-ching

exult and exalt, anima enema, dogma and dawgmuh and female dogs, obit and Tobit, bitch and obituary, presence and presents

mg: mentally gifted, merciful god, mother of god

churchy: CH, contrition, humility.  AS, angels, saints.  GT, give thanks!.  SI, speech impediment.  SF, set us free, sins forgiven, son and father.   deaf and def jam.   apple computers and pairs of lovers.   be fruitful and multiply:  asmodeus is a god of creation!!  computer crash, car crash, crashing on couch.   Adam's apple, and saving blog posts (savior), blog (crypto Jesus, lamb of god), log ride, bathroom log... Always and all ways, nudity and nakedness, good and evil, right and wrong, co-heirs and corporate airs, and "gathered into one" (all is one and one is all, -stairway to heaven, Led Zeppelin), hm, have mercy, holy Mary, humming a song about humility,  MC, mind control and mercy, compassion.  War and warmth, warm words of son/sun.  Sins, guilt, and forgiveness are all virtual.  LAW is the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  Sin and zin!  "rush of mighty water" OMG, orgasm, and "come again"?  SD, satan devil, sin and distress (sad).  Oblivion and zero (0).   Emptiness and no-self.   Story, myth, legend, metaphor (S and M, where the leg ends, met a Four, forgiveness).   HH, humble hearts. figs and mint, figment.  fig newtons and making money.  fig leaves and fashion.  clothes and closing.

Every Letter

 Alphabetical religiosity

Atheism, ace theism

Belief, Be- leavers

Holy See, Choir (inquire)

De-ist

Ineffable (unfuckable?)

Give glory to the good and great God

Holy, hallowed, heavenly health, happiness, and hope

I am

Jesus, Jehovah, Jah, Jealous (and Jesse!)

King

Love

Mercy

Nature

O my god, Oblation, Omni’s

Power, praise, prayer, priest, peace, purity, padre

Queen, quietude

Righteousness

Strength, salvation

Tranquility

Utopia

Virtue

Walk on water (wow)

Xavier (Jesuit co-founder)

YHWH, yes

Zion

Imps: important, impermanent, improvement, impurity

    impossible, imperious, impolite, impolitic, impatient, impiety

imps, elves, fairies, sprites, hobbits, pixies, dwarves, gnomes, brownies, leprechauns, goblins, gremlins, (greek) pygmies.

elves and dwarves, shelves and drawers, and LP's

little people:

impious, selves and dmt machine elves, fair maidens and boats and poofs and tooth-takers, sodas, habits and hobbies, a band, a city in Alaska, girl scouts, leptons and lepers, turkeys and other voracious eaters, car (by amc), african aboriginals (rainforest hunter-gatherers in Congo basin).  

Problems

 Problems Needing Fixing

(on MY radar, at least)

Kind of disorganized and random

Poverty, unemployment, downturn, pandemic, education, motivation, health, diet, exercise, routines, healthcare systems, global warming, pollution, emissions, infrastructure, extinctions, deforestation, desertification, coral bleaching, overfishing, mental health, madness, schizophrenia, psychosis, delusions, hallucinations, psychopathy, sociopathy, alienation, isolation, loneliness, disaster-preparedness, alien-invasion, asteroid impact, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, nuclear proliferation, safety, security, defense, basic needs, food, clothing, shelter, house, home, homelessness, addiction, obesity, SAD (standard American diet), smoking/vaping,  lung cancer, COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), starvation, thirst, clean water, biological and chemical weapons, comfort, heating, cooling, sanitation, libraries, electricity, wi-fi, internet, corruption, war, terrorism, crime, cruelty, lying, distrust, bullying, stupidity, lack of curiosity, disrespect for science, nationalism, jingoism, patriotism, us/them thinking and division, victimization, superiority, racism, sexism, mind-control, slavery, lack of freedom, incarceration, imprisonment, wage-slavery, human trafficking, rape, closed-mindedness, boredom, apathy, hopelessness, despair, depression, bipolarity, anorexia, bulimia, terror, bruxism, Crohn’s disease, magical thinking, superstition, backwardness, anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, ire, spite, malice, revenge, resentment, attachment, aversion, unfairness, injustice, sin, brutality, evil, savagery, wickedness, turpitude, depravity, immorality, amorality, suffering, hell, discontent, unsatisfactoriness, suicide, murder, homicide, error, conflict, fighting, dehumanization, labelling, ignorance, inexperience, inequality, inequity, mad bad sad, authoritarianism, totalitarianism, autocracy, dictatorship, tyranny, fascism, compromise, lack of integrity, dishonesty, manipulation, warlocks, demons, prostitution, pornography, concupiscence, plastic, waste, filth, pathogens, germs, bacteria, viruses, radiation, wildfires, arson, premature death, speeding, rejection, aridity, disenchantment, uncaring, dishonor, cynicism, pessimism, atheism, negativity, uncomprehension, hypnotic control, lust, unrequited love, theft, robbery, larceny, breaking and entering, trespassing, stealing, dogma, disbelief, unthinking acceptance, uncritical thinking, sheeple, drugs, opium, insincerity, mockery, heroin, coke, cocaine, acid, meth, opioids, poison, infection, sickness, illness, disease, falsity, deception, lack of conviction, senescence, decline, weakness, dysphoria, enemies, persecution, ethnic cleansing, holocaust, genocide, pogrom, serial killing, mass murder, collateral damage, greed, pride, avarice, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, sloth, jealousy, treachery, disordered thought and speech, chaos, anarchy, mayhem, lack of meaning or purpose, absurdity, ism’s and ideology, danger, threat, compulsion, lack of compunction, superego, conscience, poor parenting and role models, masks, inauthenticity, fakeness, militaries, weapons, foolishness, accidents, perfectionism, lack of human rights, borders, gangs, oblivion, arranged marriages, idiopathic disease, clitorectomy, iatrogenic disorders, disability, blindness, deaf, mute, lack of privacy, demonic possession, bullying, bloodthirst, captivity, dependence, servitude, limits and restraints, arrogance and conceit, aggravation, self-aggrandizement, exploitation, greed, commodification, throw-away culture, inequity, relative poverty, lack, want, need, abject poverty, misery, oppression, repression, self-aggrandizement, dysfunction, family strife, poor leadership, uninspired, priorities, sycophancy, corruption, nepotism, cronyism, abulia, abortion, lobotomy, self-righteousness, damnation, domination, submission, giving up, surrender, abandonment, neglect, endangerment, dereliction, losing, failure, error, mistakes, negligence, thoughtlessness, unaffectionate, uncaring, unpitying, unsympathetic, uncompassionate, unkind, uncharitable, indifferent, exacerbation, perversion, powerlessness, helplessness, misguided, zombies, drudgery, robotic, ptsd, trauma, wounded, scarred, twisted, tormented, pain, agony, suffering, torment, misery, anguish, despair, predators, mauling, demons, satan, mephistopheles, antichrist, Lucifer, beelzebub, devil, jinn, eblis, azazel, asmodeus, duping, hoaxing, manic-depression, mistreatment, misrule, imprudent, unwise, unsafe, in the shit, war crimes, war IS a crime, objectification, brainwashing, attachment, aversion, backward economies, societies, polities, isolationism, speciesism, humanism, idealism, realism, pessimism, optimism, cynicism, negativism, social control, unfree speech, authoritarianism, lorded over, hierarchy, subjection, powerlessness, surveillance, self-censorship, chilling effect, repression, hypocrisy, obscenity, profanity, selfish, self-serving, slander, calumny, libel, defamation, castigation, sanction, punishment, intolerance, uncharitable, bribery, graft, extortion, fraud, corruption, subversion, transgression, adversity, hardship, fault, injury, wrong, offense, misdeed, misdemeanor, misconduct, delinquency, villainy, debauchery, degeneracy, dissolution, decadence, impiety, impurity, frailty, weakness, unforgiven, free speech violation, profiteering, anosmia.   

Components of God

 Abba, abbott, abbess

Swedish band/father,  a butt,  abyss

components, cops, ents, and corn pone

God is the devil, combined with who reacts, in correction: “You made me” (!)

Herat, 2 places of the same name, in Afghanistan, and Iran (AI!)

Isai, As Herat (Jesse Teshara)

You are intelligent children -v

Ssss, hissing, (sibilance, serpent, slytherin, satan), like rain

   Singular simple spiritual substance

Sub-stance:  taking a stance, below

Looking up to people

Jesus, Jess U

Dire fool: distinct in reality, essence

   Free offering of one’s life

(foolish!: the purpose of life is survival and reproduction)

The genetic program, the dna imperative, the legacy of millions of years of evolution

G-D, going down, over the hill

3: trinity, angel, evil

10: satan, 10 orders of angels (in ascending order)

   (ishim, cherubim, bene elohim, elohim, malakim, seraphim, 

    hashmalim, erelim, ophanim, chayot ha kodesh)

glower, glare, stare daggers, stink eye, dirty look, evil eye

Piece of papa john’s pepperoni pizza and a papadia

dome vault, Darth vader, do me, doomy

vault of heaven, Van Halen

more butt talk:  abundance, rear admiral, wide receiver, tight end

the church of Honda is deep

Say What?

 What are you a God of?

Honestly, I don’t know

Me, I guess

Self, logic, truth?

SLT, like a truck

Piloting the spaceship earth

Buddhist twist: Even god has no-self

Catholic definition of God (wikipedia, “God in Catholicism”)

Infinite intellect, will

    mind, motivation

"Comprehended by none, incomprehensible, ineffably 

most high above all things 

which are or can be conceived outside Himself.”

"The Holy, Catholic, Apostolic, Roman Church believes and confesses that there is one, true, living God, Creator and Lord of heaven and earth, omnipotent, eternal, immense, incomprehensible, infinite in intellect and will, and in every perfection; who, although He is one, singular, altogether simple and unchangeable spiritual substance, must be proclaimed distinct in reality and essence from the world; most blessed in Himself and of Himself, and ineffably most high above all things which are or can be conceived outside Himself."

Oblation

OB/GYN, late, shun

A solemn offering or presentation to God

Eucharist, bread and wine, and BBC

Oblatio vitae, the free offering of one’s life

    A category of being declared “blessed” 

    Under RCC canonisation procedures

       Created by Pope Francis in 2017

God’s Name:  Jealousy

     My name, Jesse L (God, disordered, kind of)

Jesus.  Hey Zeus.  Chuy.  Chewy.  

TWO.  “The Whole Office of the eucharist.”

Teshara, T as cross.   As earth, heart, hater.   

HCAR church

Everything is alright, we’re gonna be alright

dome, firmament, vault of heaven

Water above, water below

Which is worse: atheism, or self-apotheosis?

Cynicism is conformity - bumper sticker

Look at someone the wrong way (LASTWW)

Peace on earth, and goodwill toward men

I’ve been listening to Paul Oakenfold

Paul Oakenfold is God, lol

(German) Gullon, Oakenfold, David :-)

abess abyss, chrism chasm!

french frog

seraphim

if you're feeling froggy, jump!

dog

 Dog, definition of god :-), dawg

generating ongoing dialog

Crazy creationists, love is a part of evolution, cree-8

Adopt and adapt and adept

Relief and release

Respected, revered, as real, a reality

Universe, U n’ I verse!

Perfect and permitted perversion

Pow, piece of work, god makes you holy, a masterpiece

Giddy idiot, cruel fools, stunned and sticked

Sad dad, bothered father

Donating a chair to charity

Heal or kill, fuck em or fight em, cloak and dagger

Stewards, and a stew of words, alphabet soup

Need vs. greed

Flatulence and afflatus

Sun rules the day, the moon the night (bright lunatic)

Firmament, firm amen, dome, do me

Ache, AK, k

Tales from the crypt, encryption, break bred

Botanist, zoologist, naturalist

Win the wind, mace windu

Breaking rules, the rule of S

   serpent, snake, satan

   Allah, Sara, Snoopy

Serve and preserve

His holiness, the hammer head shark

dog and dag

dae and knight

daze and ears, hours of ow

day by dae, spirited

needs and knees

thankful, appreciative, grateful

assistance, help

shelter, house, home.  shell-ter (for crabs!)

trouble and roubles and rubble

precepts and dogma and sepsis and bitch

fm, father, mother;  female, male;  frequency modulation

   modern freaks, and f 'em, flying monsters

blessed be god forever, bless id (and ego, and superego)

honor and glory, humanity and god, hg wells

Family fun

Are you familiar with relativity?

Ministry of magic

Piece of paper

day after day

matrix, patriot

Moment, patient

dade county, soledad

System, broken

Sisyphus, bromide

carbuncle, ontology

Just because

Personal trainer, philosopher theologian

    stretch, dance, exert, sweat, flex, endorphins, come alive

st, saint, sometimes, on the streets

amen, menacing

deceased, D - ceased, devil ceased

devil's eye, die

sword, s-word, shit

soul heal, sole heel, feats of feet

sacred holy, red hole

hard, bones, body/muscles, boner/erection, to figure out

diffi-cult

A Look

At my vision

 Woke up before the alarm.  Still listened to standup comedy, at 7a.  46 page views, a/o 7:12a.  Cold out, again.  No dogs, today.  My glasses (both pair) are being re-lensed, due to arrive back in 3 weeks or so.  So I’ll read my blog, and my kindle, both of which can be enlarged for my feeble fuzzy rotten vision.   Big print, here I come.  NYT and Economist, here I come.  I’ll skip my daily History, to spare my eyes.   And my dictionary, too.  Just news.  Hopefully, that will be satisfying, both in the ongoing moment, and in completion.  I’ve been neglecting the news, haven’t read it systematically in months.  So this is an opportunity, a blessing.   I’m hopeful I can even contribute to a better world, through engagement with the now, rather than the then.  Extra time for me time, for exercise, shouldn’t hurt, either.   But I look forward to new glasses, you could say.  My annual benefit covers the new lenses (on the old frames), so they’re free.  Yay!  What if my mustard seed of faith grew into improved vision??  Jesus DID heal the blind.   So that would be interesting, too.   We’ll see, lol. 

Goodly Ongoing Duty

Dear All Gods, Goddesses, and Godlings- 

I am a human being.  Obviously.  Only humans write blog posts.  Unless I’m secretly controlled by computers.  Computers can write essays, or so I’ve read, lol.   I have declared that I am God.  Maybe I am.  God is One.  God is love.  God is a man of war.  God is good.  I’m not in the military.   But God is the enemy of the Devil.  If God is love, well the devil must be hate.  Bomb the shit out of those haters.  Don’t bomb the lovers.  Let them be.   God loves the devil. The devil, though, apparently does not return the favor.  Am I love?  I love love.  I love myself.  I love my life.  I love my job.  I love my family and friends.  I love the Bay Area.   I love music.   I love my country.  I love the internet.  I love my blog.  I love my world.   I love wikipedia.  I love YouTube, the onion, ted, instagram, pinterest, J! Archive, google.  I love my Amazon Echo.  I love standup.   I love college radio.  I love public libraries.  I love the Economist, the NY Times, flash briefing, the song of the day.  I love sleeping in, and I love waking early, getting a lot done.   God is One.   I’m one.  Unless I’m legion.   Am I a plurality?   Am I possessed?  How many of me are there?  Am I a consubstantial trinity or something?  Me, myself, and I are a Unity of Self!  You can’t have a Self without an Elf!  Demons and devils and Satan and Mephistopheles and Antichrist and Lucifer and Beelzebub and the Devil.  That’s at least 8.  If I’m not God Almighty, I could be A god.  One of many.  Or a god, uncapitalized.  I am only a human being.  But if humans can’t be Gods, then who can, right?  We have created our Gods.  The source of all things good, our ideals, virtue, heaven, even punishment.  We have written books, one of which is “god’s spell” (gospel).  I hesitate to imagine deities as space aliens, who are reputed to have vast powers of mind control and advanced technology at their disposal.  But who knows?  Maybe.  Jesus “ascended into heaven” sounds to me a lot like being beamed up to a spaceship, if you ask me.  But you didn’t, did you?   I’m talking to myself.   I like listening to myself.  You go, God.  Gawd.  War is the art of deception.  Chess is war.   If you play chess against anyone, you’re their Adversary.   That’s all the Evil One is.  Both sides!   Lawyers are de facto diabolical demoniacs, who can choose to identify with either side, virtue or depravity, but will always be adversaries, and hence, lords of darkness.  Different kinds of demons include undead zombies, bloodthirsty vampires, transformed werewolves, half-human vampires (dhampirs), and other assorted arch-enemies, criminals,  and nefarious types, like wicked evil sinful turpitudinous torturers.  Maybe you have a nemesis.   An anti-you.  Like an antichrist or antipope.  Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.   Revenge is a dish best served cold.  Anyway, am I good?   The good book says only God is good.  So if you’re good, then you’re God.  You can lose that status pretty quickly, it seems to me.  It’s a goodly ongoing duty.

Enjoy your Godyssey!