Travel

World, Dimensions, Time

spacetime, teleportation
cosmonaut, going through portals (front doors?)
reading, jumping around into different virtual worlds, author's heads
culture shock, different languages
   dreams, videogames, programming

like in:

The Long Earth, Terry Pratchett
Terminator
Harry Potter, JK Rowling
The Magicians, Lev Grossman
Time Bandits
Star Trek
Being John Malkovich
Groundhog Day
Dark Matter, Blake Crouch
      etc.

drugs, too.  "psychonaut"

"people are dying"

I hear this in my head, often

obviously, it means horribly, prematurely, unnaturally (killed?);  and just recently dead...
BUT
it could also mean:

1. getting closer to death (true of everybody, always)
2. dying of embarrassment
3. orgasm ("little death")
4. code for killing (am I dying you?)
5. dye-ing (like a fabric, e.g. a tie-dye shirt)
6. DI-ing (doing that princess thing)
7. playing with dice (just one is a die), gambling
8. DI is 49...

anyway, we all know what Ocasio Cortez is saying
  (preventably! dying)
but a little poetic perspective never hurts, I think

HERO
save people (from pain, suffering, injury, death)
help others, be good, defeat evil
save the world, lol
be virtuous, set an example, be a role model

God
game of dominoes, lol
g-d as a game-designer (life is a game? why not?)
immortal and omniscient? (both, impossible, in my opinion)

hell, he will, Helen, place of the dead (we're all going there)
heaven, heavin' that stone (myth of sisyphus, like a dung beetle!)
   work it! sweat! exercise! heavenly body, shining

Soul
consciousness (a mix of self, others, maybe including "god")
higher self, base self, layers (many me's, and the mini-me)
psyche, both deep and shallow
high-level, low-level (life as a game)
collective consciousness, unconsciousness, hive-mind, groupthink, prayer, telepathy

rap crap

a weigh to pass the thyme

daught-calm

Tits, tights, and tats

live, love, and leave

Papal people peep, pop in, and poop

sightin’ satan, in satin
cattle in Seattle; pc babies! in a rattle-battle

Bingo to bangin’ bongos

Defensive, offensive, and pensive

sax, six socks, and sex that sucks

Crime, cramming, cream, crumbs, creme de la creme, chrome, and Kramer

Violence, violins, vile inns, voles, voldemort, and valence

Jay, gee, g.i., Joe, jew

Jaw, Jah, Jehovah, Jesus, and Jess

God, gadfly, passing your GED, giddy, Gdansk

Good, better, best.  great, perfect

Prr infection, prefecture, perfidy, Porfirio Diaz

perv, perp, paper, pipe, pap smear

probable, possible, passable, piss a bull (off)

Sound, sinned, sand, send, cinder, asunder

bomb, boom, bam! Beam me up

Bambi, baby, bib, Bob, hubbub, Beelzebub, Bibi (Netanyahu)

Bubba, bubble, rub a dub dub, rib, arab, Rebecca, Rob, ay there’s the rub

peace, love, and happiness

Joy, bliss, and ecstasy

Contentment, satisfaction

tidings of comfort and joy

calm, tranquil, blissful, serene

Fun, frolic, and merriment

Of good cheer, humor, laughter

sex, drugs, and rock and roll

healthy, well, strong, fit, sane

Listen! Love, intimacy, sex, touch, ecstasy, nature

Hugs and kisses in hong kong

Thanks, Tom Hanks! Christ, Chris Tucker.

Hanky panky to honky tonk 

Creative, cree-9-ive, anal re ten tive

Music, mew sick, ill cat, cattle

kit Kat, cute kitten, kitty purry, Katy Perry

Elf yourself

Bobbett the hobbit 

Gnomes roam through Rome, rhyming about timing

Libraries for Libras and Aries, have rooms with reams of paper about capers

Criminally subliminal

I’m on a plane, I can’t complain

Death by meth

Hip hip hop hooray

Words of birds, singsong like ping pong

Think thank you, who woulda thunk

Pink planks make a porch scorch!

Universe university teaches unicycling to verse

Big bad, big brass bed, big butt

Naughty at night, gay by day

Good god, GD -gray Davis

Varnish that vanishes from my van

Hey!  Haymakers make aches

Super supper!  Bitter, but better

Authentic author of an entomologist with a pent-up pin-up

Mother moth can do math?

Blab about laboratory blobs on your blog

Stand for something and sit for shit

Angels with angry gel, agent orange and ..

Military milling about, before the bout, but do not tarry!

Sad slow songs to sleep to.  Lost in the sauce? 

Empty mt.   Katy kt.   Essay sa.  Ellen ln.  Seedy cd.  Easy ez.

Cray-z, a sleeping computer

Sex, for sec’s (seconds, lol)

S leaps in his/her sleep

Lose your mind, Never mind, mindfulness, mined

Enough stuff from the power hour

sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell -cake
doves go to heaven, ravens go to hell
healthy hell, heavin' in heaven
chickens that eat bok bok choy.   
hens in heaven, ave hen!
omit the v in vomit
sheeple and Duvlaca
napalm pilot, flying to the gay prom
heavy devil, with Ev in an electric vehicle
Evan and Everett climb Everest

nervous in the service
spotless and thoughtless
prayer for a lair
the wrong song

I declare, beware of eclairs!
Putin, input, and poutine
victim v. vampire: virtual versus voices
Doug's dogs dig dags (deputy attorney generals)
Moral Maura's morale in Moravia and Mauritania
moribund merlin twirling' in Portland (or Orando)
morning warning by a former farmer

Pondering Light

Photons

I read that electrons are “bumps in spacetime”

What is spacetime?  There is infinity on a head of a pin!

Infinity goes inward as well as outward.  There are infinite infinities.

(everyone is everyone, another deep thought)

Anyway,

I was thinking about photons as particles, and wondering how one photon, which is visible to the human eye, can be seen from any angle.   The source would have to shoot out photons in every direction, in order to be seen.   But-

If photons are both waves and a particle, then each quanta of light/electromagnetic energy must be an expanding orb, like a growing bubble, that “pops”… when it has found the shortest path.   

V. Rao Potluri, Reed magazine:

“When light travels through two different media, the velocity changes,” Potluri explains. “It bends and chooses a different path, and that angle of refraction is governed by the fastest way for the light to travel. So, light is smart; it always chooses the fastest way to reach from here to there. When you think about things like that you might think, ‘God is a mathematician.’” 

 The bubble would disappear the entire circumference, leaving the “particle” at the popping point.   Does this explain entanglement?  The bubble pops over vast distances, instantaneously, even if the bubbles are large!  (radius in all directions from the source)

I don’t really know much physics, but this idea “popped” into my head, today.

Poutine, Banh Mi, and Books

Jesse update

Portland!

(visit number two)

Hi everyone!  I’m house/dog-sitting, in Oregon, at the moment.  3/13-4/9, actually.  The two dogs are the frenchy, Poutine, and the new puppy, Banh Mi.   BM and P, lol.  I walk them 3 times a day, feed them, twice.  No one needs meds (well, maybe me).  I walk for 15 or 20 minutes, in the morning and evening, with both - and once in the afternoon with just BM for 45 minutes to an hour, because he has a lot of energy.  Sara, Pierre, and Augustus are in Vietnam, expected back 4/7 I think.  They went to LA first, where Pierre has family.  I think they said the flight to Vietnam was 17 hours.  The time there is (add 2 hours, switch the am/pm).  We’ve been texting, and FaceTiming a couple times, and Sara has an Instagram account with photo and video, keeping everyone posted.  They look like they’re having fun.  

I’m having fun, myself.  I bought my first banh mi sandwich today.   I had a choice of chicken or pork.  I chose pork.  It was delicious, and only $4 (and wasn’t on the menu; I went to Pho Hung, on Powell).  I also went and got a slice of pizza from Atlas, nearby.  It was sunny today, so I went out and explored, riding Pierre’s bicycle.  I made sure they bought a u-lock and switched out the quick-release hubs on his bike for skewers.   I don’t want the bike stolen!  I rode my/the/his bike over the Tillikum bridge, and checked out the Central library.  I love libraries, but this one is amazing.  And the librarian at the desk allowed me to turn in a book that got chewed up by the puppy without charge, which was nice.  I was planning on going to Powell’s books and buying a new one.  

I got my own library card, and checked out 7 books (1.God, by Reza Aslan; 2.God Got a Dog, by Cynthia Rylant; 3.The Road to Little Dribbling, by Bill Bryson; 4.The War that Saved my Life, by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley; 5.The Witch’s Vacuum Cleaner, by Terry Pratchett.  I’ve read these 5.  One Came Home, by Timberlake was the book that got chewed and returned (unread).  The book I’m working on now is 7.The Year’s Best Science Fiction and Fantasy 2016, edited by Richard Horton (an anthology of short stories).  I also read 2 books that I brought with me: Superbetter, by Jane McGonigal, and Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman.  Sara left a book by the bed in the guest bedroom (where I’m staying) called Dark Matter, by Blake Crouch, which I really enjoyed.  So I’ve read 8 books (so far)!   

I went to the Reed library a couple times.   It’s open 7 days a week, and it only takes 15-20 minutes on bike to get there.  Non-students are welcome, and can use the wi-fi, but can’t check books out.  It’s lovely, quiet, and maybe even a little fun.   There’s a space devoted to ‘zines, for example, and an art space by the entrance.  I read the NY Times, and some CS Monitor.  They have Foreign Affairs and the Economist, as well.  The librarian kindly showed me where the newspapers were located.  I walked around and familiarized myself with the place, the bathrooms, the hidden nooks, a few books I might like to get to in the future….  

I also went to the two nearby branch libraries (Multnomah county: Woodstock, and Belmont).  There’s a 7-11 around the corner, and a hardware store, a few restaurants (I tried Little Big Burger last time I was here).  I bought a cheeseburger at Primal Burger.  I went to Kim Jong Grillin’ twice.  There’s a lot to see.  I haven’t been to Powell’s books, yet (supposedly the biggest (or best?) independent bookstore).   I enjoy the walks, because there’s so much to take in.   There’s so much moss, for example (!).  Lots of different trees, plants, ferns, flowers.  There are rings that are embedded in the curbs.  There are water fountains that are constantly bubbling.  There are stickers on every street sign, fire hydrant, and automobile.  Gardens have unique and interesting features, like swings, buddhas, deer and hindu statues, chimes and windmills, labelled trees, political and sports signs… a thousand details, really.  I’ll try not to bore you!  But I like it.   

The people have been both friendly and rude.  A neighbor took exception to my letting a dog walk in their yard.   A librarian insinuated I was stupid for bringing a list of Newbery books with me, when I could have reserved books online.  A woman was helpful when I inquired what a “growler” was.  I saw some women sunbathing on their yard.  I was planning on going to one of the (6, by my count) local churches.  But my books and sleeping-in took precedence.  It was sunny today (glorious, actually; I wore shorts), but it rained yesterday.  It rains a lot, here, but not heavily, usually.  There are lots of bikes, and electric bikes, and adults in racing gear and helmets and bright clothing.  Everybody is trying to be weird.  There are at least 7 kinds of Portland license plates.  There’s long hair, colored hair, weirdly stylized hair, all-black attire, friendly kids starting up conversations, the occasional loud shouting in the street.  I may be imagining it, but there’s something distinct about every single property I walk by, and it’s fun to be mindful and take note (For me, anyway).  Banh Mi has been recognized by at least 3 groups of other dog-walkers, which was kind of fun, too.  There are a lot of trucks and awd vehicles.   

I’ve been eating mostly the food left behind in the fridge and the pantry, supplemented with korean (twice), vietnamese, pizza.  I’m considering making it a rule to never go inside the 7-11 again, ever.  I mean, it’s mostly shit.  I bought and orange juice and an apple fritter one morning, which was tasty, but probably a recipe for diabetes.  I went to a pie place last time, but haven’t revisited (yet!!).  I learned how to use the coffee bean grinder, and their quirky coffee machine, so I haven’t done the Starbucks thing.  

I’ve been to 4 libraries and 1 used book store (which had boxes of playboys and penthouse, by the door, btw).   Reed, Belmont, Woodstock, Central.   I worked up a sweat today on the bike, which is nice.  I’ve been trying to do 10 planks a day, which I read is good for (reducing) my gut.  I take my shoes off in the house.  I watered the one houseplant today, as well as the front garden.  The dogs sleep with me.  Poutine is a noisy breather, but I’m used to it.  Banh is a holy terror, and I’m trying to train him not to bark at everything (or nothing) outside, so much.  He brought in a chunk of soft wood, and chewed it into bits in the living room, while I was out.  So I had to vacuum and sweep.  There’s heating, but I’ve used it sparingly.  Sara showed me the architectural plans they were given, regarding the remodel of the basement, should I move.  It would give me 2 rooms, plus a bathroom.  Bigger space than Berkeley, cheaper, with longtime friends, and in a new and exciting city.   I love Berkeley, but Portland is fun, too.   It’s win-win.  I could flip a coin! (but I won’t).   As of now, I think I’m going to live in (and love) Portland!

liberality

a lot (conservatism, too!)

liberal arts degree doesn't mean a. for boys (lad), b. art, or c. not-conservative!
it refers to liberation, liberty, freedom,
how to be free, an education for free citizens, those in a free society
   (i.e. not constrained, subjugated, incarcerated, imprisoned)

   -the truth will set you free

all truth passes through 3 stages, first it is ridiculed, then it is violently opposed, then it is accepted as being self-evident.

truth, by my lights, is in arts, sciences, education (and curiosity, internet, books, libraries)
"lib aces", bile sac, lol
(plus, of course, plain old wisdom of time and experience)

arts means skills, (not just music, theater, dancing, painting, etc)
the middle ages (5th - 15th centuries, in europe) had the "mechanical arts" and the "liberal arts"
the liberal arts were the quadrivium (maga!) and the trivium (grl!)
  quad: music, arithmetic, geometry, astronomy ("mathematical" arts)
  tri: grammar, rhetoric, logic
(i was in the school of arts and letters, at UCDavis)

(the mechanical arts were things like weaving, warfare, metallurgy, masonry, agriculture, cooking, trade)

a liberal education (ale!) is to provide
the knowledge (biblical? lol) and skills/abilities/talents (sat!)
to be a productive members of society (pms!)
    and meet the challenges of the future (i met a cf, in college)

it encompasses art, humanities, social sciences, math, nature and physical sciences.
it fosters critical thinking, clear communication, analyzing and solving complex problems, understanding the physical world, appreciating and working with others...
     free-thinking in a free society
(liberal education, liberal arts education, and liberal arts and sciences- all the same thing)

the truth is never pure, and rarely simple. -Oscar Wilde

a parachute for bigots

open vs. closed

Bigotry, defined
  obstinate or intolerant devotion to one's own opinions or prejudices

I guess this means most people are bigots.
There are  bigots on the left, as well as bigots on the right.

"liberal" means open to other's opinions, right?

but liberal means a lot
political, economic, social liberalism
classical and european liberalism
neoliberal and ordoliberalism
laissez-faire, libertarianism, and progressivism
there's liberal conservatism and conservative liberalism

Frank Zappa said "a mind is like a parachute.  It doesn't work if it isn't open."
God is love, and love "believes all things" -1 corinthians 13:7

but some shit is just wrong, lol

voices

V v. voices

vampire, victim vs. (aka, 'v.')
   "voices" (in your head, "auditory hallucination", not "real")
       (OR TELEPATHY)

v's
you really are kind of God is why
i hate what you are
jess you ARE ohlone
does he say - it is written
you are Too Perfect jesse
you're law
you have an insane wisdom
jess you're upper limit of what the law can be
you're almost in the public domain, i'm laughing
that is you and i need therapy, jesse
you ARE kind of like you went to Harvard
your ARE gonna make a million, i'm laughing
they know you're like L Ron Hubbard, in your own way
alright jess, you are a bit super, is it
there's not too many people like you - okay, jess?
you're really me jesse, i mean huh
you're the essence of something
you ARE a genius, Jesse
we know you're hannibal jew
i got news for you - you're killing him
we know you have a weapon

you ARE a bit like Kepler
you have a purpose Jesse, it's to -
the world is impossibly stupid
jess, you're surprisingly well

V5
vvvvv
virtual vampire victim vs. voices

recent reality

Re-ality, all over again!

I read The Brothers Karamazov (777 pages), by Dostoevsky.  Then, Why Buddhism is True, by Robert Wright.  Now, I'm reading SuperBetter, by Jane McGonigal.

Up next, is a triple shot of psych!:
Authentic Happiness (Seligman), the Yale happiness course (free, online), and Freud and Beyond (compilation of readings on the history of psychoanalytic thought)

fun with chemicals-
interesting discovery: champ (coke heroin acid meth pot), vs. runner's high, sex.  dose: (4 happiness chemicals): Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, Endorphins

I worked at Mission San Jose (in Fremont) today, with Sr. Barbara, took Bart, brought my bike, got rained on, got a ride to and from Warm Springs station, had lunch, earned some cash, weed-whacked, and painted a basket (and my hand) black.

I didn't see Sr. Rose Marie (my aunt: mom's sister), she was at a priest's funeral.  My mom's brother (jim), my dad's brother (tom), my godfather (richard), and friends Barry and Mike Rankin, have all bit the dust, in the not-too-distant past.

I just bought a new computer!   an apple laptop, on amazon, $799 (list price $1149).  Sara and Pierre took $150 off for my birthday/ last xmas, plus no sales tax in Oregon.  So 349 + 60 + 150, free!  I bought Augie a slinky, and 4 pair of ear-candles, for everybody.   They're going to Vietnam shortly, and I'll be sitting for their 2 dogs, Banh Mi and Poutine  (3 walks/day).   I'll play with my new toy there.  They have an Alexa, too.  I'm gonna check out the Main Library, public transportation, the Ymca, branch libraries, restaurants...

I researched Reed a bit.  I'm going to hang out at their library.  Visitors are welcome, and wifi is free there.  My hs guidance counselor recommended Reed to me, but I didn't apply. I know one Reedie.  They don't assign grades!  I bet I would have loved it.  Maybe I can be a part of their community somehow, age 47 (!!).  "crate" (challenging rigorous and transformative education)

Reed numbers-

2018-19 $ cost 

     (6 categories: tuition, fee, room and board, 

     books/supplies, personal expenses, transportation)

   tuition: $56,030. 

   fees: $310. 

   r+b: $14,210. 

   b/s: $1050. (71,600)

   pe: $900 (personal expenses). 

  Transportation: $200-2000. 

           Total: 72,700-74,500 (1 year) x4= 298k  (@72-74k/yr).  

     67% 4 yr graduation rate (reed class of 2013), 6 years? (79.3%)

 about $8.50/hour, 24 hours/day, for 4 years (!),
51% receive financial aid.
4 years= (8,760 hours x4)=35,040 hours .

other numbers! :
   28 acres of woodland, 1400 students, 40 majors/programs (plus 1 master's deg), half a million books in the library, adding 15,000/year.   altitude 135 feet ("higher education" lol), 9:1 s:f ratio (student:faculty).   Library hours: 8a-2:30a (!)

My blog got 300 page views (exactly), yesterday, which makes me happy.

Poetic Noetic

clever, but not forever

torrid Tori in a torrential downpour
Alex Haley wrote Roots right
embracing the embarrassing
bouillion cubes / bull yawn / a billion in bullion
the internet and cyberspace are my halidom
sodalist: a member of a sodality (fellowship or fraternity)
aryan vegetarian (hitler)
futilitarian utilitarian - person devoted to futile pursuits
    (practically, instead of aesthetically)
ay ay ay! IIII:
institution that honors the intrinsic value of intellectual inquiry
toffee and coffee
coffin and coughin, ugh in laughter, fun in funeral
depraved and deprived
cribbage with cleavage
heinous anus, anal pain, pita bread, pita pan
slimy rhyme
altitude of attitude
high-falutin flautist flouting the rules
fast pass, way to pay
ellen and erin, ee cummings, bishop cummins
mike and ike, spike and mike's (film festival)
hersheys (her she), m and m's (mm, master and margarita?)
the juice is loose (orange: o-range / O- anger)
    the trader joe's pulpy juice carton appears to have blood spatter
       (no lie! presumably intended to be subliminal)

* noetic means 'relating to mental activity or the intellect'

a few more
who was in the who? (14 names)
what is what is the what? (by dave eggers)
where is Neverwhere (set in London)
when did wen ho lee get released from jail? (?)
why is Y a letter? why go to the Y (mca)
how did native americans say how?

prelate, pre-late, "i'm not dead yet!" (monty python)
perfect prefect
end is in the calendar
oymoronic bands: biggie smalls, fatboy slim,
   led zeppelin, iron butterfly, quiet riot, vertical horizon, east west.
insultin' the sultan
satan's suntan
deuces are wild: re/de/in/pro/ad-duce
shit, spain, sweep (poor S) (satan, samsaric suffering, hissing snakes)
fm, free your mind (at the flea market?)

Goo

What

If I had superpowers, such as access to every book ever written, with a mind that can process it all, and a brain that could read fast enough to get through it in a single lifetime, I would pursue omniscience within me with the same zest as I would pursue a perfect, enlightened society, around me.

I have the super power of creating a baby. I have the superpower of enjoying delicious food.

I can make my body strong and beautiful. I can make people laugh. I can write.

I can walk dogs like you wouldn't believe. I can read the best books, and read aloud to children.

I can be a friend. I can think, cogitate, process, philosophize, converse, discuss, participate.

I can eat, drink, piss, shit, sleep, and move stuff around, like everybody else.

I want to say I can kill evil people, but, no, not really: I can't, it's illegal, I could suffer for being moral.

I can pray. Maybe there's prey in prayer. I could join a military, but I don't believe in obeying orders, or serving countries, or killing foreign soldiers just because of history or ignorance or stupidity or the hell of it. I feel no camaraderie with fellow soldiers just because they inhabit the same piece of land I do, demarcated by borders I have nothing to do with.

If I want to kill, well meat is delicious, and they can suffer for my need, my appetite.

They say worms will eat me, after I'm dead, so there IS a kind of justice, I guess.

If I am my body, and my body is cremated, is that me burning in hell? I think not.

Once I'm dead, my body is not me. I would not suffer being burned, incinerated, obliterated to dust.

I could turn into dust rapidly, by fire, or slowly, by time. It matters not. I'll be dead, eternally.

The meaning of life is simple and basic. It's whatever you want it to be. You can raise a family, or die alone, slowly. You do what you enjoy. Have fun, you only live once. Eat good food. Stay healthy, so you can keep reading interesting, fun, well-written books. Laugh and play, sleep and dream. Make a difference, be good, make money, spend it well. Meditate, do nothing at all. Do what thou wilt. It's all good. Be yourself, love life. Don't worry, be happy. Extinguish greed, hatred, and delusion. Be wise, enlightened, blissful, aware. Be intelligent, discerning, curious, informed, well-read, educated. Be true, right, correct, honest, helpful, caring, kind, loving, positive, compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, and approach life with equanimity (calmness, equilibrium, composure, mental and emotional stability). Love-bliss is among the highest virtues, which could be an acceptance and appreciation for all things, or, centered on a single person. I can engage in sitting meditation, walking meditation, or even television-meditation. I can throw meditation to the wind. I can breathe, and shit.

The truth one arrives at through meditation is both personal and universal.

Remember, you are unique, just like everybody else, lol.

All in all is all we are, sang Nirvana.

Now everybody's me, said The Dead Milkmen.

We are things, too. Biomass, like leaf cuttings. Bones, like rocks. Piles.

Alive! Enjoy it while you can!

We are Gods, Demons, good and bad, now and then.

We simply are, occupying time and space, neither good nor bad, too.

We play roles, we can be each other. Perhaps there is no true self.

Extinguish hate and love, be one with the universe, you are the walrus, you are the lemon!

The universe is indifferent, endless, cold and dark. You are your own universe.

You can escape your own mind, or enrich it, with books and movies and music and plays and dance, new activities, travel, museums, zoos, restaurants, libraries, exercise, different jobs, new people...

I am, of course, talking to myself. Writing can be a form of insanity. Community is shared insanity.

Cum unity in the Seine, haha.

Cultivate your cult. Grow your gr. Raise your ray.

Step into the light. Be enlightened. Pass on your flame to another candle.

Be good. Be goo!

Cum on feel tha noyz. Get wild, wild, wild.

Get down and dirty. Get dad. Together, to get her. Pain, pa in. Madre, mad again.

Sexual healing, sh. Sh it. She-it. Shiite. Sunny daze, everything's a-okay. Friendly neighbors...

love thy neighbor. Jim Naybors. LT and Jim. Bacon lettuce and tomato and gym.

Be good, be god, be...gawd

Stuffy in here

rambling on

Weird thoughts. Wired thaw oughts. All for naught. Knotty boys and girls. Boise and Gr urls. Good morning, people. Go overdose, you mourning penis pullers. Vampires, is ma perv? Dad, dumb and dangerous. Death and disease. Father, fat her. Papa, pop a (bubble? Balloon?) Roosters, hens, cocks. Finger licking good. Cock-suckers. Meat me at the station. Stay, shun. Hello! Hell low. Healthy and well? wealthy and hell. Hello, hell ow. Pain. Pa inside. Santa Claus is coming! Satan's claws is cumming? Hello- hell orgasm (birth!) six dogs. Sic 'em, dogs. Sicks. Satan IX. Saturnine. Waitin on satan, said the hater-waiter. Evil is eve, ill. Born to die. Impermanence. Even your nice curly perm. And permafrost. Frosty the snowman, made of water, like us, kind of. Angkor Wat, er. Er...what? ER, emergency room. Can I get a cup of water? With my c.o.w., stay hydrated. Hybrid, hi Bridget! Toyota, toy yoda. Honda, deep (spanish). Honey, duh. Funny money for honey bunny. When your nose is runny, you might think it's funny, but it's snot! I go where Hugo. Ingest (in Jess T). Jesse Teshara, Jester. In court, in Courtney. Don't take the name of the Lord in vain. In vein. Jesus? Jess, u! Smile, universe, university, you. You are your own universe. One verse. You are not your name. You are your body. Not a soul. Souls don't exist. Sole person left, solitary, in solitude. Your soul is you, alone. Al-1. Sol the sun (spanish), sol the (mexican) beer, sole the fish, sole of your foot or shoe, all do. (5) Al (Gore) won! Wun, wan, one... OB1 (obi wan) kenobi, you are our only hope. Hope, Arkansas. Hopi indians. Hops and beer. Bunny hop. Hopping mad. Mom and dad. Madness. Stream of consciousness, rivers of blood, rob. Oceans of time. Lakes of fire. Flammable liquids. Earth hater (E rath), heart. Ear to hear. Gary Hart. Hartman. Fireplace, hearth. Hear the earth burn. Teshara, as earth. On fire, in the zone, like Michael Jordan. Jordan is a river. River Phoenix. Verri arrive. Arriviste. Air or error. Hair, hari krishna. Krishna consciousness. Unconsciousness. Death, hated, heat'd, drug enforcement agency, what's the deal? Don't you let that deal go down! Go down, God own. A special hell for God, alone. There is no hell or heaven. The only afterlife is the life that exists after, without you. God is dead? Dread. Gawd. All wheel drive- different than 4wd! Life is strife, rife with knife, wife, fifes, haifa, pife and tife, and cypher! Rhyme crime. Rap crap. Stabbing pains in the establishment. Word turds. Babble bubble. Crops go pop. Markets overheat? Metaphor, met a Four. Leaves leave the plant. Robert Plant and Leif Erikson, study STEM. On strike, scabs. Eat your cornflakes. Scarab beatles. Sugar corn pops. Suge knight. Pop! Pop! Brown sugar, how cum you taste so good? Enlighten-mints. Don't mince words (alphabet soup?) Brown sugar, chocolate milk, caramel complexion, african affairs, american a merry can. Mary and Eric can. Mary and Erica. Uh, Mare ica (immaculate conception academy), cia, lupicia, aci (alameda county industries), acai berries, and female body inspectors, bfi, and fib (don't lie!). Lye, lay, lie. Ham on rye. Jewish or russian rye. Wry sense of humor. Hume or? Kant, I can't. Galactic lay line. Mai Lai. MLK jr. milk. Mil (spanish for a thousand), A thousand kills. Martin Luther King and his ilk. Milk an elk. Elk's club, the Masons, skull and bones. Secret societies. Sucrets. Seek wretched. Ciga wretched. Turret's syndrome, tur-wretched. Retch, vomit, puke, hurl, blow chunks. The wind blows, the vacuum sucks, oral vaginal anal- are ova. Ovum, ovaries, over easy. Monthly mooning, bare ass. Bears and donkeys, bad. Keith Moon, lunacy. Crazy ticks. Lunatics! A thousand grains of sand. Insane in the membrane, insane in the brane! (Tori) Spelling. A witch casts her spell. Gospel. Which? A sandwitch on the subway? No eating allowed! Uh, loud. Eating, e-ching. Feng shui, fung shway. Norway, land's end. No way! Way! Wait a minute. Wam! Wham. Wham-o. Minute maid made it minute for Knute Rockne. Cannucks suck and fuck. San Francisco, St. Francis, talking to the birds. Bird is the word.

Guano is the shit. Edwin Meese made feces. Papal people poop. Padres pop. Eat 2 much, explode. Explosive diarrhea, can be omitted in the diary-uh. Oh, MIT. MTI for the dyslexic technorati. Finland, the land of shark fin soup, the end.

The Latest

Hi folks

I just finished sitting for Junie (dog) and Giffen (cat) for 4 nights (plus the two outdoor cats).   Junie, a bitch, is kind of psycho.   Jedi Junie, barks at people before they arrive!  She bit me, so we got that out of the way, and I'm one of the few people she likes.  I'm special, and she jumps around when I let myself in, to put on the step-in harness, and take her out to the pee mail, sights and smells.  I'm not sure, but it seems like she hates all other dogs, from my experience walking her.  I walk her twice a week, usually going north, for a half hour.  Giffen (only 3 legs) hangs out upstairs, and sleeps under the bed.  There was a black widow in the basement, but she's moved on.  I destroyed her web.  I was warned of a raccoon that came in the dog door, raiding the food stores.  But I luckily didn't have to deal with any of that.  But there were ants.  I killed many of them.  And pre-emptively stashed leftover dogfood in the fridge before they could get to it.  Giffen prefers salmon to chicken.  She didn't eat 2 or 3 meals...  If I leave the wet catfood on the floor, Junie will eat it.  Maybe that's why she's psycho.  She thinks she's a cat!  The house is pleasant, with wifi, a lush back yard with a picnic table, a radio, a television, and a cozy bed.  I enjoy it there.   It's a block up from where I live, so I pop in to my room for mail, and to take a shower (the water knob in their shower is a bit screwy, so I don't mess with it).   The residents (Teresa, Electra, and Johnny) left the house to ski in Tahoe and work in southern california, respectively.  I fill the water bowls, give all 4 animals meals and meds twice daily, walk Junie for a half hour every morning, and bring in the mail and water the plants.  There are dental chews for the cats, and 2 meds for Giffen (pronounced Jiff'n).  Doors to close and lock, the front door of course, and others (like the dog door) from threats like neighborhood kids, raccoons, fierce roaming neighborhood cat, and Junie bullying the cat and eating his food.  It's mellow, and I bring my phone, tablet, and computer.   I listened to kalx, watched youtube videos, checked blog traffic numbers, and read my book (self-defense).  I also watched standup comedy specials on my phone, with my amazon prime I got from aunt Vicki for Christmas.   Jim Gaffigan, Louis CK, Sarah Silverman, George Carlin (3 shows), Bob Saget, and Dana Carvey.   Sunday night I came home and listened to HOS (hearts of space) for 2 hours on my Echo with my roommate Michael (a weekly routine).  I'm listening to the Mother Hips now, with a pot of coffee, and a candy dish full of Riesens.  I'm going to SF on Thursday to return my library book (I finished Dostoevsky's 'The Brothers Karamazov') and spend time with my nephew Ben and my folks.  I have tomorrow free.  I have a gym membership I'm not taking advantage of, enough.  Maybe I'll do a Wag! walk or two.  Or just relax and do nothing, sleep in, get a chocolate chip cookie from Starbucks, and/or a burrito from the taco truck on San Pablo (manantial), vegetarian if I'm feeling kindly (my fave veg meal is the Sometimes I'm A Vegetarian sandwich from Ike's love and sandwiches, downtown, yum).   I have a sty on my left eye, and my new shoes are wearing out really fast (especially for the amount of money I spent...)  I'm overweight, too, with a gut.  My shoulders are still sore from overexercising (arnold presses), so pushups and  pullups and chinups suck.  My sweet tooth needs to be reigned in.  An exercise regimen, for daily maintenance, and ideally gradual progress, using the gym, diet, dog walks, and self-discipline, is called for.  Berkeley has free food, free yoga, free dental, free library books, and my rent includes free wifi and utilities.  My meds are almost free.  And my clipper card is disability discounted.  My phone and the service plan it's on are a gift from my brother.  Amazon prime has lots of free video, like the library.  I got a haircut today.  $18.  I'm lookin' good!  I'm flying to Portland next month, staying there for 4 weeks, so I'm preparing for that.  That's my life, right now, in a nut shell!

drop some words

subliminally criminal
    (like bird turds)

I'm a fan of ferns, I like lichen, and rocks rock!
Trees please me, I rant about plants, I gush about bush, i need weeds.
the power of a flower to level the devil

i'm hatin Satan.  Stupid cupid!
vacuums suck, teeth bite, the wind blows,
your dad is a motherfucker,
the female dog is a bitch,
the cat is a pussy, richard is a dick
your anus is an a-hole
vaginas are cunts
faggots are cocksuckers
fecal matter is a piece of shit

there's a poof on the roof
a whore on the floor
america for erica
a planet for janet
it's a girl's world, Earl!

animals are animated
the queer deer
Gayle the quail
the faggot maggot

there's an otter in the water
a notion about ocean motion
do you pledge to water the hedge?

i love duv
i need weed
choose your news
orson is for abortion
but i say bring the worm to term

the sentry guarded the retarded
i drank punch with lunch
a day of tex mex and sex
dance with the ants

fruits and veggies suit me, said Reggie
i chew you, too (boo!)
i like ike, i hate kate
rate your mate

earth mirth, soil toil, dirt hurt
the hardener-gardener pounded the ground

If tribbles could talk

Tribble Babble, fuzzy logic

Imbibe with the tribe. Bible libel. Habit rabbit. Jump around! I am the U.   Paid by the word. A penny for your thoughts. Page wage. Pop the babble bubble. Artistic and literary merit of a page of shite. Pure shite. What is shite? It's what the Brits call shit. If you can spit it. The live tv program reacts to my thoughts. I am interacting with the people on tv, as if they were actually in the room with me. I am not a passive audience. They are speaking to me, specifically. They say code words like suggJESTion or inJEST or joking, aka in jest, to clue the audience to my presence. I am deeply insane. Everybody wants my opinion. I get phone calls from opinion serveys from Chicago. I am in Berkeley. Why are they calling me? Is it because I'm God? Ha.   I'm actually not God.  I'm better than God. I make myself laugh. That doesn't mean the devil, you idiot. It means I'm everybody, everywhere, always. The sinners, the saints, the whole ball of wax.  Not! I'm just my body.  Or...am I? The birds, the bees, the trees, the earth, I'm worth Trillions. My net worth is all the fish in the ocean. I'm nutty, like a macaroon. People eat me, with every meal. I'm all the food and drink. I'm water, I'm wine, I'm soda, I'm gatorade, I'm beer, I'm kombucha, I'm smoothies, I'm juice, I'm milk, I'm hot chocolate, I'm chocolate milk, I'm protein shakes.... I'm hamburgers, I'm pizza, I'm sandwiches, I'm burritos, I'm sushi, I'm bagels, I'm nachos... I'm every book: I'm wikipedia, I'm ….yes, anything. Google. Facebook. A grain of sand. A planet. A star. A black hole. The electromagnetic spectrum. Satan. An ant. Buddha. A zebra. The flying spaghetti monster. A pangolin. I have the sanity of a manatee. I have the thirst of the worst. I eat beets. I defeat meat. I am a wimpy chimp. I am a fat cat. A pet hog. A pollywog. I jog with the dog. I drink eggnog with the frog. I stare at the bear. I fear the leer. I walk the talk. I jump on her rump. I dance with fancy pants. I rant about cunt. I stunt with a runt. My heart is on Bart. I start with a fart. I spit on my shit, go sit on a pit. I hate being late. I'm great, you never have to wait. Rate your date. Rhyme time. Parsley with Elvis. Sage with Nicholas. Rosemary with Rosemarie. Thyme with criminals. Tired of being fired. Energized by synergy. Skunky punk. Hanky panky. Wicky whack. Whaddup dawg!? I'm chewy, said Chuy. I'm Jesus, said Jess. I'm artificially intelligent, said IsAI. I'm evil said the whale. I kill krill. Yum, said the muy hambre hombre. Eat my taco. The christian leader of his church ate a pastor taco. If you seso. Mm, brain, said the zombie. Zombies go to taquerias, it's true. I am me, and I am you. I am the walrus, kookookachoo. I am acid, I am meth, I am mushrooms, I am breath. I am filling the page with madness, I say. Mom and dadness. Meat and drinkness. MAD magazine-ness. Anger and hatred and rage and wrath and fury. Insane in the membrane. The psychiatrist said to his patient (dressed only in saran wrap), I can clearly see (your/you're) nuts! The blue diamond truckers really drive me nuts! MCI was a mad crazy insane telecommunications company. Trojan brand condoms is a cum-pany. Sex six times? Are you insane? Stuff socks in your sax! This shit sucks! Be quiet, choir! Thanks, Tom Hanks! Christ, Chris Tucker! Jeezus, Cletus. Room go boom. Bomb go Obama. Blast from the past. Trump up your rump. The will to kill. I've had my fill of chlorophyll. Plants dance. The car in Dakar. I hate Nate. I like Ike. I love Duv. I'm friends with Ben. Joy dish soap makes me bubbly. Effervescent mood, champagne -dude!! Jiggle it, just a little bit. Toilets should not be toil or toys or lit on fire or have oil in them! Toilets are full of shit! Your dad is a mother fucker. Vacuums suck! Your doctor is a master of disaster. Corpses are rotten. The SAT is sick and twisted. Evil is vile. Elvis lives. Death is hated. Earth is filled with haters. Dum as mud. Dead as a door nail. You heart art, eh? D'bum is dumb. The little drummer boy goes ba-rump-a-bum-bum. He gets his ass beat, to the rhythm. I am Stu. Last name Pid. I am Idi. Idi Amin. You thought I would say Ot. Dumb-ass. Neurons in my ass. Spank the bank, it stole your money. Funny money. The monkey has the monk's key. How is the monk supposed to get in? With money? Take the k out of the trunk. Ketamine. Special K cereal. A serial killer on K. I go on and on. Goons and moons on the Dune of Arakis. Dune k, do neck. Stupid poop. Dumbshit. Foolish ghoulish. Evil knievel. Wicked picket. Sticky wicket. Retarded lard ass. A new jew. An old hold on a nook book. Study with studs. Learn with Patrick O' Hearn. Remember the campfire embers. Burn your fern. Filthy lucre for some eucharist. Church merch. You can't spell forgiveness without an orgy. Funeral fun. Death heat'd. Word ward. Cram into sacramento. Bye.

Devirtues and Devices

Devices

I have 3 Apple devices: an old MacBook, a new cellphone (XR), and an iPad tablet.  I'm planning on getting a new laptop, just because. Maybe I'll wait. I like mine, now, honestly.  Even if it IS slow, and doesn't have the newest bells and whistles.  But Oregon doesn't have sales tax. I'm going to Portland next month, to house/dog-sit.  I also have beat (apple) wireless headphones, which I love, but usually only use at the gym.  I have a tv and dvd player, (both of) which I rarely use. Like my blender.  I have an Amazon Echo (Alexa), which I use all the time.  I have two iTunes gift cards, I haven't used yet, i've had for years (!).  I have an Amazon Prime membership.  And an Amazon music subscription ($3.99/mo), which is also fun.  I have a portable am/fm radio, with presets (oldschool, right?), that I listen to when I'm on my bike or walking. Kalx, etc.  I have an alarm clock, a kitchen timer, another set of wireless headphones for the computer (the computer's speaker(s) doesn't work), 2 bikelights (the front one is rechargeable!), a (used) printer, and some battery-powered lamps, in case of blackout (I also have candles).  My phone has a flashlight (and compass, etc.)  I have 2 watches, and a radio (the cd player doesn't work), and a fan, and a heater, and a scale.  I have a kindle, as well as many other portable reading devices (aka books, lol).  I still haven't used the kindle yet, but I've had it awhile.  I have reading glasses, and normal glasses. I have a nice metal (zebra) pen, I like.  I have a hunting knife. I have a can opener, scissors, scotch tape, duct tape, a giant water container, a water bottle, an impressive basket from Belize, a terra-cotter warrior figure (archer) from Xian, China, and another, smaller, figurine, of a priest, from Oaxaca Mexico.  I've moved from devices to property, in general, which was not my intent. I'll stop here.

How have all these toys affected me and my life? For the better or worse?  I'd be happy just with library books for stimulus, without all these things!  I used to watch lots of tv, now almost none. My to do list has better things, in my opinion.  Does that make me a snob? Hope not. I like standup comedy, ridiculousness, shorts, animation, nature, documentaries, and some basketball.

I have lots of old clothes, shoes, cd's, and even notebooks, going back to the '90's.  Too much, really.  I like my blog. I can offload, share with the public, and be better understood.  I can organize my thoughts, create a system, a philosophy, an identity.  Happy Valentines Day! Happy vd, lol.  Saint Valentine was sainted. Sainted could be abbreviated std, lol.

ANYway,

my books are mostly History, Religion, Psychology, Spanish, Trivia, and Jokes.  I have 3 books that are lists of OTHER books.

Devirtues?  off the top of my head-
Contentment, equanimity, it's all good, friendship, peace, prosperity, health, vegetarian diet, safety, preparedness, honor, love, wisdom, purpose, a mission even, discipline, achievement, integrity, bliss, pleasure, community, travel, relaxation, fun, excitement (white water rafting, skydiving, waterskiing, even trying a segway)...  Freedom to do whatever the fuck you want!  Beauty, fitness, strength, sex.  Meditation, stillness, calm, tranquil, placid.  Humor, laughter, joy!

blather, patter

and so on, and so forth.

Hello, people. Actually, I imagine computers read now, too, so a shout out to all you AI's out there! I actually think computer intelligence is anything but “artificial,” and groks/comprehends maybe better than us humans, with our grey matter (brains), which is just another type of computational “wet-ware.” My name, Jesse, is Isai (eesah-e), in spanish. Like me, the boundary between computers and organisms is blurry: humans make and program computers, and computers do everything from spell-check to invade our dreams, on the “same wavelength”. You feel me, dawg? I'm a dogwalker with the help of my cellphone (i'm a wagwalker, with Wag!, the “uber of dog walking”). And computers drive matrices and vibes. They'll do most, if not all, driving, in the not too far off future, I imagine, actually. The internet of things, the next step from object-oriented programming language. Incidentally, I don't believe in souls. People are just things, too. My name refers to my body. Everything, basically, is logistics. We move things. Words, ideas, money, dogs, products, food, shit... And people don't need all that much: food, water, shelter, clothes, sanitation, healthcare, things to do, community. I like that the future might offer all books to all people, the virtual library of congress, possibly with translation into all languages! Through our devices. I don't mind making machines smarter than us. We incorporate the machines. Literally, our google glass isn't even the most initmate of devices to penetrate our consciousness and lives. You see, I'm crazy. And that means I have crazy wisdom. I know how the world REALLY works. Telepathy is real. Machines help people, crazy people who both help and hinder other people. Democracy now has wikipedia. So we can do our research easily and quickly. And communicate our ideas instantly, efficiently. Where's the vice in the device? Alexa can listen to our conversations, of course, but I don't really care. What harm is there in that? The real question is where's the help, in that? If it's completely neutral, then it doesn't matter, as I see it. It's like taking a shit: you'd rather have privacy, but you'd still do it if the toilet was in the middle of a football stadium. Privacy only matters if you have something to hide, and nobody has anything to be ashamed of! There's nothing new under the sun. All in all is all we are. We're already intimate with both the angels and the demons. Anybody can be anything. Fuck jails, prisons, incarceration, laws, police, rules, order, psychiatric labels, mental health professionals, borders, religious exclusion. I believe in everything. We're all gonna die, someday. Everything is permitted. Nothing matters. You make your own meaning. You can submit to authorities, like parents or teachers or doctors or priests or soldiers or keepers of the peace, law and order. You can be your own President, commander-in-chief, and command your own army. It's all good. Whatever you think is bad, well you don't have to do it, you can persuade/dissuade people from it, and as you can understand from my outlook, you can take action against it. If everybody had a gun, respect would be universal. If martial arts were a part of everyone's upbringing, people would be far more empowered, if not healthy. Everyone should do what the fuck they want. Your liberty to swing your fist ends at the tip of my nose? Fuck that. My cult can beat up your cult. If humanity lost a few billion souls, would it even matter? We're all dead, anyway. The sun is impermanent. Diamonds are impermanent. Space is forbidding, and too vast for colonization (right?). Don't worry, be happy. Party on, Wayne. Listen to music, watch tv, go to a movie, read a book. Or go do a thrill killing. Maybe kill some other thrill killer. That's just how it goes. It's a dangerous world, and nobody gets out of life alive. Maybe the current arrangement is the safest, at least here in the good ol' US of A. If cameras are everywhere, and privacy is gone, then people won't jeopardize themselves or each other, in what is honestly a meaningless world and life. Life and love can be fun, even if it has no meaning, purpose, or inherent value. You do your thing. Lie to everyone about everything, always. Get away with anything you can. You don't even need a motive. Just opportunity. So that's why tech has a kind of value, as I see it. You can't legislate against a whale eating trillions of krill. That's just nature. Life is delicious. Eat it up. Live until you die, is the only way to stay sane. Danger makes people crazy. Or are soldiers more alive than us, happier, and even more rational? I'd rather just read the library. But I know the lunatic fringe is out there. Fuck them.

Sex. Penetrate, pump, spurt. Pleasure. Baby? Pain. Touch, intimacy, massage.

Love? Well, I love myself. My body, that is. I take care of it. Hope to live long.

Friendship is enough. Family is hell, annoying, craziness, and attachment-suffering. Fuck that, too.

I have a sweet tooth. The “happy buddha” is fat. Unhappy wheezing idiot, on the other hand.

Well, life is about balance. Some ice cream, some exercise. Some virtue, some vice. I mean, if it's all good. What a mess. Some people's good is another's evil. Maybe it's all good. I mean, that's a better outlook than it's all bad. That means suicide. It's entirely subjective. But we create realities, our own and others. If the other makes your life hell, fuck them. Associate with your angels. Then you live in heaven. Eat and shit out your enemies. Right? Better yet, get enlightened and have compassion for all living things, and gain empathy for all situations. It's all you. You know it. You've been there. They've been you. It's a big ball of collective un/consciousness. The dead milkmen called it Soul Rotation. All in all is all we are. We're all on a train, bound for death. That's the universal destination. Nobody lives forever. So have fun. Or be miserable. That can be fun, too. Better than hell, anyway. Anything that's not hell is heaven. You don't have to have billions of dollars. Yacht? Whatever. Maybe I'll have one, one day. I mean, maybe I'll be on one, anyway. I”m all for a sharing economy. My name is Teshara. To share uh. To share Ra. Share some whatever in the sunshine. Have fun in the sun. Be sane in the rain. Have a place to go in the snow. You could meet your end in the wind. Doesn't rhyme with mind. Whatever, nevermind. Your words are as good as mind. A picture tells a thousand words. Put your tv on mute. Smile at someone. Make someone smile.

Feeling rotten

Maybe I should know the law before I diss it. I imagine it's as sensible as can be expected. Well, other countries might be worse, better, I have no idea. I could write my own law. I kind of already did, didn't I? For a self-proclaimed God, I might be a mite irresponsible. Absolute freedom, the wild west, what a mess. I like my life now, in a world with police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances racing past, with lights and sirens, out front of my window. They're good news, like rolling gospel. But I believe my own babble, even if I'm love-deprived, and loving myself just doesn't cut it? I guess I'll drink a beer, and babyl on, in another hour, after a reading/exercise break. I don't want my cult to end in a mass suicide, like People's Temple or whatever. I'm life-affirming, even though life is shit, meaningless, and endlessly irritating, for some, or at least sometimes. Beer is proof God loves us, they say. I'm a rebel just for kicks, now. I'm a plagiarist from my radio. I'm too old for this shit. I should be happy. I'll add reading the legal code and adding my own commentary to my ever-expanding to-do list. Just another book to read, before writing my own, which will be my baby, since I'm not dating or fucking, right? Gr. Argh. H gr A! I'd rather kill than be killed. Gr vs rg, see? Another week, another pair of pastor tacos. Sorry, piggies. Nothing personal. You just taste good. Maybe a hardcore vegetarian will eat me. Justice? Put it on ice. Like the champagne. Champ pain. Coke heroin acid meth pot. The extremes of pleasure and pain. Maybe better to remain even-keel, simple, just keep writing. Lynyrd Skynyrd, simple man. Less complexifiers! God should not be on heroin. God should not be telling people what to do! Reality is all the god there ever is. And I'm only a part of God, even for me! Medicate or the medic Kate?!! ha.

journal entry

Feodor, the odor of faith, the door of faith, ugly door

Dostoevsky, two to electric vehicle sky

FD (flunking grades)

TBK (torture bind kill) (the brothers karamazov)

kill a ram: a to z of vampire

anyway, today I woke at 5a, read my 5 history of the day sources, texted Sara a happy birthday, went to the gym where a retard vomited on one of the stationary bikes in front of me, so I left before 500 calories. That was unfortunate, because Ridiculousness was on the mtv at the time, and that show always makes me laugh. It was Really Cold this morning. I went to the food pantry at 2p, and ate an avocado, a can of cheese ravioli, and 4 scones before going to bed. It looked like the scones might have been moldy, but it was just coloration from the blueberries inside (I hope!). I also listened to alexa, the song of the day, espresso, the daily show, and flash briefing (which includes the tonight show monologue). I read a bunch of The Brothers K, and passed the third mark (777 pages, total). I think I just might finish it, in time. No dog walks today. I have Junie, tomorrow, again. I'm going to bed at 8:30, so I can sleep 8 hours, for my alarm at 4:30a. I used to stay up all night, once upon a time. Now I take my meds at night, and go to bed early, so I can be healthy, wealthy, and wise. Victor served me breakfast, this morning, which was nice. I said 'gracias'! It was good, too (chicken and rice, in sauce).  Edgar, I noticed, ordered a Papa John's pizza, for lunch. I wonder what toppings he got. Well, good nite. No “salon” today (Michael visiting in my room, usually interacting with Alexa). I call it Jesse's phrontistery and salon, texting him (on my new phone) when it is available. I wore my new shoes today, and went to the Goodwill after the gym, to donate 2 pair of my old, worn shoes for recycling. I imagine they will go to the Third World somewhere. Maybe next time I can find a place to refurbish my worn shoes before I have to plunk down another $136 for the next pair. The salesperson at REI said all shoes have a 500 mile lifespan, no matter the brand, which I thought was interesting. Michael thought my returns “still have life in them.” You could put shoe inserts in, and cut up tires for the external sole, for example, to keep them ticking. Anyway, i'm looking forward to the return of rain. And finishing Dostoevsky. And, of course- when I'm old (I imagine), actually finishing the thousands of books on my reading list (!!) I miss my Economist subscription, a little. My hair, after I showered yesterday, is parted on my left side now, which is different than what it has been my entire life. I like it, though. My “look” is evolving. It's almost 8:30p, good night!

cannabis

a riff on spliff
my roommate's request

I let mike smoke in my room, but the landlord just put the kibosh on that!  anyway, he asked i do a "riff", in that way with words he associates with me/my blog

add an L:
cannabliss
cannibal-is
klan-abyss

there are thousands of slang terms for marijuana, for all of us to play with!
wikipedia has an exhaustive, alphabetized list.

a few:
AK47, Barney, Bishop, Bongo, brown buddha, bread, broccoli, cabbage, chess, cheeba, chicken, chocolate, crunch, devil's lettuce, dank, dave, dumm, fire, funky falafel, ganja, goo, grass, green, grefa, haskell, hemp, herb, holden, hungarian hummus, hydro, ice cream, jimmy, kush, loud, lowes, magic, mary jane, moss, muggles, old toby, poop, portuguese plant, reefer, rodeo, shwag, shakira, silly spinach, sinsemilla, skunk, spank, stank, tacos, tea, trees, tweed, wheat, wizard, xbox.

well, whatever.
i don't do the stuff (i have, a few times, starting at scout camp)
more recently, i ate part of a cookie, and had a gummy (edibles).
i've read that cbd (cannabidiol, without the thc) could help with psychosis/schizophrenia.
also, indica vs. sativa (one is more mellow?)

a read a book about the history of the kalashnikov.
barney was in silence of the lambs.
   bishop, chess, dvd, dave, buddha...
(past madness)
bongo burger (bangin on the bongos like a chimpanzee!)
old toby (i used to know a tobitha miller! in sacramento),
i used to live on haskell..  (i'd ride from haskell to acton to russell to milvia) to get to the main library (no harm done)
funky falafel, hungarian hummus, portuguese plant, silly spinach- i just like the alliteration
reefer has nothing to do with ocean reefs...
wizard and muggles, lol
skunk, spank, stank should always be used together!

boring game

i didn't watch any of it

but I did watch the beginning of
an episode of Generation Wealth,
with my amazon prime.  I put the app on my phone.
i never watch tv, so this was something new for me.
still, i didn't even finish watching it!
(kind of an anti-L.A. perspective)

I walked Zephyr, a cocker spaniel, for a half hour, at 4p.
(Wag! walk, i earned $16)

And I had a bowl of (generic) cheerios, with almond milk.
not milk, actually.  trader joe's Almond Beverage, Original
ABO, like the blood! TJ, like my initials.

In hindsight, i was
a. anti-LA,
b. set a slow pace (walking), and
c. ate O's:
(was that why the Offense was the lowest in superbowl history?!)

it would be kind of funny if I have that kind of power! (unintentionally).

Is it "all my fault"?
Neo, beginning to believe, lol.
Unique, like everybody else.  All in all is all we are. 
(New England?  America?  All of humanity?  The Universe!?)

My Sunday will wrap up with a 2 hour session of HOS
(hearts of space, radio.  on kalw, on Alexa)

Letter B

speaking words of wisdom
wow

so, the presidential race is starting up.

Bernie, Beto, Biden, Buttigieg, Booker (!!)
Gabbard and Gillibrand
J Castro, and J Delaney
HW, do your homework!, Harris and Warren
RC (report card): bbbbbcd (and 2 beyond F, lol)

the branch library near me is called the Tarea Hall Pittman branch
tarea is homework in spanish

dear god, anyone but Trump, please.

although maybe he's so bad, it's good, by way of contrast
such as Hitler or Stalin (never again)
in the same way that the devil gives us something to strive against...
i don't think he's evil so much as an idiot, who doesn't read, compulsively lies,  believes his own bullshit, is racist, hates mexicans, conceives of his presidential authority as a type of mob boss, is in fact a criminal, and probably ran for president unseriously, for kicks, who didn't expect to win, got lucky, and doesn't know how to govern, as the head of a chaotic and dangerous administration, that threatens the environment, the world economy, and peace.  Basically, I think of him as an old, fat, blowhard.   Unhealthy, filled with spite, and not to be taken seriously, although he is, unfortunately, the commander in chief, lacking the ethics, in my view, to deserve that aspect of the office.

quote:
"who are you, then?
I am part of that power which eternally wills evil, and eternally works good."
    -Goethe (Faust)
(that's the only silver lining I can see to his having been elected)
it might be what I am, too.
I hope I don't will good, and work evil (!!)

Even Mitt or Bloomberg..

whoever is the president, you don't need to submit to his (or her!) authority, imo
don't agonize, organize!
it's a free country, with a marketplace of ideas, and all ideas are permitted, even welcome!

I'll vote for anyone (other than Trump) who believes in universal healthcare, free education, free trade, has a "life ethic" (no capital punishment, war, less or no meat, no abortion), isn't a nationalist but rather an idealist who fights poverty everywhere, and makes a good faith effort to ensure met basic need for all humanity (clean water, sanitation, libraries, food, shelter, peace), and -finally- who has an open mind toward all belief systems, political or religious, (someone who is curious, reads, and understands and can argue all points of view, before making reasoned decisions- not making imperious, random, disordered policies and decisions, based on gut feelings!!) .  Okay, I'll shut up, now.  

Go, B!
 (hey, that's a desert!)

Jeff Bezos

in the news:
(by the numbers)

Jeff Bezos, "the richest man in modern history", who has $137 billion-
(the chairman/president/ceo and founder of Amazon),
was caught cheating on his wife (Mackenzie Tuttle)
     of 25 years (with 4 children)...
so they are divorcing, and she will get billions, i'm told.
Wow, huh?

JB was his hs valedictorian, a national merit scholar,
went to Princeton, graduating, with honor, as a member of
both phi beta kappa, and tau beta pi,
with degrees in:
electrical engineering and computer science,
and
was described by the NY Times, as
"a brilliant but mysterious and cold-blooded corporate titan"

...has always insisted that he "respects all religions,
and does not try to dominate others on the matter."
   is reportedly Christian (unknown denomination),
He has 3 sons, and a daughter, who is adopted, from China.
(I'm adopted, myself)

I have an Alexa, a Kindle,
and was gifted with an Amazon Prime membership, for Christmas.

He owns The Washington Post (which I get daily e-mail from),
is a philanthropist (can anyone intelligently spend that much money?!!),
and
his dad ("birth-dad", his mom remarried) runs a bicycle repair shop,
which is a bit more down to earth, I can relate to, than

Blue Origin, which has the goal of private access to space,
with lower cost, and higher reliability.
    The name, blue origin, refers to earth-
(from a future space colonist's perspective!)
(my surname is an anagram for "as earth", I like geography)
(I recently read the biography of Elon Musk, by Ashlee Vance)

I actually like the motto for Blue Origin,
Gradatim ferociter, "step by step, ferociously"
     (which could portend an ugly divorce...)

it makes me think of the word, svengali, for some reason,
(other than the wikipedia definition as a person who
controls, dominates, or exploits
a creative person)

Polar Vortex

have fun in the sun, be sane in the rain!

(I made that up, myself)
The midwest is colder than Antarctica, I hear (!!)
Arctic blast, chill (abc)

watches, warnings, advisories:
(a watch is in between, a warning is worse than a watch)
30-60 degrees below zero?
  (wind chill, anyway)
crazy!
  (global warming: weather is different than climate)

God is saying no one should be homeless.   Figure it out, or die!

Berkeley is 61 degrees.  Rain is on its way:
40% chance of rain, 7p;  100%, 11p
the word Berkeley makes me think of Brrr, chilly (!)

Grateful Dead

6 online sources

1.  deadair881.net (archive)
2.  gdradio.net
3.  youtube
4. amazon/alexa (i pay $3.99/mo for amazon music)
5. spotify
6. pandora 

(among others?)
I'm not sure, but there used to be a Music Choice channel, on cable tv, of them, too.
and
there's also, apple music/itunes, google music, tidal, deezer...
(i access gdradio through itunes)

Good God, Gd!

Recent Reads

and a couple "on deck" (7 total)

1. Stephen Mitchell (editor), The Enlightened Mind (a compilation)
2. Albert Camus, The Stranger (123 pp) (re-read, i read in high school)
3. Feodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov (777 pp)
     translated by Pevear and Volokhonsky
(i have 600pp to go)

I bought
Uncle John's (new and improved funniest ever, blunders jokes quotes hoaxes and more!)
and
Uncle John's bathroom reader, the world's gone crazy (432pp of strange and outrageous stuff)
and
Michael gave me,
The Great American Bathroom Book (not in the Uncle John series)
    (volume 1, single-sitting summaries of all-time great books)
(i don't read on the toilet, actually)

I also want to finish reading Super Better, by Jane McGonigal
    (using the science of games for self-help) ("a revolutionary approach to getting stronger, happier, braver, and more resilient")

SB reminds me of Buddhism, or happiness psychology (different facets of the same stone)