Insane Thoughts

about drugs and jewelry and reading

1.  The pharmaceutical companies have a vested interest in the maximum unhealth of society (even the globe)...that is, for which their medications provide a solution.    Are drug companies making us sick?

2.  "Conflict-free diamonds".    Every engaged couple wants their marriage to go smoothly (be "conflict-free", as it were).   Were the wars and exploitation surrounding diamond-mining MANUFACTURED just so jewelers could say "conflict-free"?? 

3. How could a TED speaker (on AI) say "no one wants to read a book"?  (I immediately turned off the talk.   I don't know the speaker's name.   F him).   I want to read ALL the books!  (that's a crazy thought, too).

4. Kelli's Jelly bellies :-).   Sometimes I want to make a bag last a long time, popping one delayed bean at a time...  other times I want to eat the whole bag (or at least, handfuls) all at once.

5. Input, Output.   i.e.  inhale, exhale.   abcdf:   arrange, buy, cook, devour food.   (vs. piss shit puke bleed cum spit sweat cry burp fart).   read watch listen, write talk create.   garbage in, garbage out.    treasure in, treasure out.    learn, teach.  

6. Contrast, Good v. Evil.   Healing, sickening.   Affection, malice.    Gratitude, resentment.  Curses, blessings.   Pleasure, pain.  Heaven, hell.   Learning, ignorance.   Virtue, crime.    Sanctity, sin evil wickedness.  Ameliorate, exacerbate.  YHWH, SMALBED.

7. "My HIV cleared.  I don't have it anymore.  It went out through my head". (lol)

8. an insane understanding of your life (wrong, or insanely detailed and complete?)

9. eunuchs cause lust?  crime causes love? nuts make you nuts?

10. marlboro (ram or blo), cig a wretched, smoke (S&M okay?), sucking on the butt of a fag

11. vampires spirit-fogging people up to heaven (vomiting in heave-n).  (anagram; imaperv).  IV and antibiotic.   Against life.   Letting people out.   "let"  "out".    nausea.   Naz.

12. dawson's creek and disgusting adulterous whore sex

13. frivolous lawsuit against God for the pain and suffering of the grief of death and mortality (suing Sue for being in a sewer).   GOD, grief of death.

14. sex in holy heaven.  hole and Courtney Love.  Heaven is bliss.   Absence of suffering.  TL. 

------

soul on fire, and sole on coal (fire walking)

sex as a barometer of love?? (can't asexuals be in love?)

2 Triunes:  freedom, peace, joy.    and faith, hope, love

purple serpent turpitude perpetrating slurping in penthouse

61, Michael Jackson, Ser pent

nymphomaniac Nephilim and maniacal oracles and dhampyr campers

2 choices: make things better?  or make things worse?  part of the problem or solution, a force for good or for evil, working for God or the devil, helping or hurting, serve or disregard / let down / betray...   

procreation and copulation is PC

over the counter, out of the closet

closet heterosexual?  anal sex, male or female, give or take, good or bad

bisexual, gay, lesbian without same-sex attraction?

two, to tu, too.   22, V, and lake (2) of fire (2) Jesus (2) shit (2). (my it hey jew monkey beast Shawn)

closet demons, closet animals, closet practices, closet talker, closet genius, etc.     claws, it.

shea butter in Sheol, and Polish nail polish, and waiting for wetter water

how do people become who and what they are??   the why of the when and where.

careless and carless.  careless or conscientious?  innocent, and with conviction :-)

the dogma of a bitch, and rigpa of my dad, the truck driver

clean bleach and dirty dirt and filthy milfs and pure fury and fecal beagles like poopy snoopy

trolls eating tootsie rolls, elves delving into psychology (selves), gnomes in their homes, and fairies on the ferry feeling merry with Mary.  (Tootsie, movie, role - cross dressing;   so, cross-dressing trolls?)

my beloved bud's blood.    my girlfriend's pearl ends.   my wife's life.  my lover's covers.   my partner's garters.  my betrothed is loathed?   my wife used a knife?  the beauty of my cutie is not a duty.  

head-shocks, brain-zaps, positronic brain, digitized neural net, bolts in my brain

spiritual and religious apartment-house

courage, coeur plus rage

LAIRD's RARE:

Hour bother, hoo Art inne Devan,

Hal load b thigh Maine,

Thigh kink dumb cum, thigh Will b Dunne,

Awn birth ass bit biz inne leaven,

Live bus hiss drey hour Bailey’s bed,

Anne morgue shiv cuss hour tress-pisses

AZ wee 4 HIV thoughts hoo Jess lass again U.S.

Anne leed fuss knot sin too temporary station

Butt de-liver Gus Fromme Seville

Amon

Wholly holy Ho-Lee Laird, gawd of powder and mites

apostasy, blasphemy, and sacrilege!  (not really)

sex in heaven, and God's Orgasmic Deity/ -ies

True Love of God (who is love, and loves All)

   commitment, longing, pleasure, ecstasy, bliss, joy, rapture

   chaste Christ

Dakota Fanning and Orlando Bloom (Dakotas and Florida)

Sweet Home Obama

Rod from Colorado

martial artist from connect and cut

George from Georgia

Ida from Idaho

annoyed and sickly in Illinois

Kent from Kentucky

Louise and Anna

lion's Maine

Merry land

Mass in MA

Mitch in Michigan

Minnie in MN

Hannah Montana

never ask about Nebraska

atta boy, Nevada

Carol from Carolina

Okay, Oklahoma

virgo virgins from Virginia

L'estat, in a state of mind

ace young, root of david, blue october, morning star, elohim

angels of heaven on the earth-realm (heart m, real) 

heads or tails? cut off his head, eat your heart out

a tale about giving head, and the trailhead

Rhode Island is not an island

Black mambas are grey

Jalapeños and pumpkins.   pain and punks.

Hopkins hopping skins

carrots and rotting cars

Rainman, counting his tears

breakup, and break down and cry

scientology and sighin' short oh gee

lid-locked and going to Sheol for all eternity

  (my washing machine, like a coffin, sealed like a Seal, arp arp)

ALL eternity, forever AND ever (lol)

evil and wickedness, Eve and a burning wick

sated Satan with that devil, Evelyn

pizza made with serpent ejaculations and vaginal secretions

alcohol is a depressant? lubricates the path to trouble? lowers inhibitions

   the more drinks in your system the harder the fight

usurping Jack

hamburgers in homburg

pensive about the expensive

pc pensive contemplation

every charm of heartfelt ease

IRS and goodly impish rogue scamp

kind kindred

inventory of inventions

nitwit?  non-invasive telepathy

harmonica harm

witch's brutality, damned damage

lose weight and get lost, loser

full moon, hungry moon

darning those darned clothes

the winsome and lithesome (win some and lose some)

a day of dawn to dusk for D

infants in the infantry??  old soldiers and ancient mariners

a way out, always, for Yahweh?  no way!  way

a computer programmer in basic training

neutral newts gawking at my cock

caulk, cocking a pistol, and avian and genital cocks

dancing ants, bopping to pop (bop, birds of prey)

putting the idea of telepathy into your head

eyes, teeth, and breasts are not my identity

petty thieves, petty officers, and Tom Petty

petit teats and large sarge and a medium amount of tedium

corn-fed Michael Dorn torn by porn

not hypnotic but definitely deaf

rows of roses

calling from college in beautiful Utah

a hint of winter

the sol is a stroke of luck

eager Uighers

dictator doctor director

grave reasons for gravity

wearing Levi's for levity

tensions in ten shins (and two tents)

stealing steel, robbing Rob

reveille is right up my alley

a lecture from Hannibal Lecter

don't say humans are animals

am you, ammunition 

guns, snug and tips, spit

offing officers and a hit list of enlisted

mulling over the military

flower power and cowering in the shower (in hot water)

most trojans don't like being put on men's dicks

ugly, ugh lee

thrills and chills, drills and kills

serving survival, and hindering the hounds of hell

war is hell, dogs of war, all dogs go to heaven

the heavens, a heaven for everyone

the hellish smell of the unwell

a contagious country

a teen's routine

vague about the meaning of ague

Laurel and Hardy, foolhardy

Akasha and Enkil, hardened criminals

every Rose has it's (Damien) Thorn

gift from the sea (is not a shell game)

souls in bodies, shells, vehicles!? 

god is my co-pilot (conscience, overlord, higher self)

nuts and chews, nuts and screws

screwed with a threaded penis? what!?

christening a boat named Jesus

deckard and Declan on deck

religiously litigious

an odd audience

obzurv how whiches make spells

pit of hell and grave of death

Pearl Harbor, pit of hell, and phD

god of dancing and give over dollars

a prayer on the prairie

a staggering stag

rapers in skyscrapers

vagina from china

a rush from russia

an american pair, in a united state

wet with sweat

in love, in god, invincible, and in an inne

don't ever, always

   question orders of higher-ups/superiors

submissive tall people and dominating midgets

atomic fireballs taste good

the enormity of the amount of enmity

alleys and valleys in Cali, O'Malley

childish, immature adults and wise, old youth

tortured, raped, and murdered in Heaven?

another uneventful day

commendations for calm men

resignation of the nation

The Alpha and Omega, absurdity

  better to have never been born at all, or

  pointless and painful, but still good

good, better, best.   not good, but great.   fucking incredible, really.

AO, beginning and end of a life, all life, or just a stupid alphabet

God is a an evil wicked fuck who just sits up there and doesn't do Jack

jaded and disillusioned but still righteous

go to hell for not sending the wicked to hell

vomit if you omit v

Teshara, pronounced T' share uh, sharing that some things should be left unshared

I AM,  God is everything, all in all is all we are

AIA=AWA?  I don't believe that (but maybe I would on acid?)

Mel on acid, melting

no such thing as a free lunch (but there are food pantries)

made of money, and totally spent

relentless, during Lent

Dracula, counting his blessings

darn carnage, damned ham, stupid cupid, shitty nitwits

remains, remaining on duty, Rod

the plot to put someone in a plot

desolation, so late

more gore and horror, less blessings?

Pope on the ropes and naughty knots

Amanda and Armand's armada and armoire

musicians, with sound minds

insane silence and crazy from A to Z

meditation and medication

silent night, holy night (and The Loud Family)

these foolish games are breaking my heart (Jeopardy?)

evil to not do evil to evil, good to do good for the good (law of karma)

G-D, earth-realm.   

(glorious dawn, game day, god deity, get drunk, genius dumbshit, 7-4)

hot in the lake of fire (lava) and cold in space (close to absolute zero)

2-2, lake, fire.  V is letter number 22.  "let"  

hordes of whores on honeymoons on the moon

Maury, Tanya, Molly, Chad, Sue, Dan, and Tim, Buck, too

a rap about reward and punishment

c.s. lewis rapping about carrots and sticks

Michael Jordan "on fire", fire in the belly, college flame (and flamethrowers??)

slaughter, laughter, and a wish for an extinguisher

cruelly ruled and savagely ravaged

God the Eternal (Reality is all the God there ever is)

We are all our own realiities (in a sense)

   plus a lot of other things (everything?)

God is open to reality, forms reality, and is Reality 

   love (and hate)

the mother says, "you need to drink"

Dead Milkmen (hi grandpa)

we must be a product of God's kid brother

yes, my friend, you're screwed for all eternity

  (said Jesus to the cabinet)

the gods of heaven are not exempt from judgment

wicked spirits (vodka?) cast into the lake of fire (volcano lava?)

alcohol is relaxing, in moderation

  a depressant, in excess.  lowers inhibitions, they say.  

  makes fighting more likely, but less dangerous?

  g-d, get drunk! Jesus made water into wine (not drank wine like water)

judgements, these are delicious mints

Mike Judge, judge not lest ye be judged

S and P 500, specks and planks, scribes and pharisees, sick and prison, sexually perverse, stealing property is "taking place", secret and private

holy dog walker, do not cast holy to the dogs

there is nothing new under the sun, nothing nude under the son

persecutions of those with cute purses

tested by testimony of truth

get lost, don't exist, you pos

AR-15 and Anal Rape

exits to existence

sun of Thomas Mann

son of man, and Somme

commandment to cum, man (compassion)

deaf and dumb dad

slow people can fast, too

fear of god, and Foghat 

the monster psychopath gives life MEAN-ing?

the mean kind and the kind average (mean)

defilement, and the D - file

meaning of life?  love? money? pleasure? children? happiness? anything you want.. e.g. heavenly reward, service, learning...

tacks collector, lol

bitches in britches, Robert plant in pants, Jean's jeans, smack in your slacks

the heroine shot an arrow carrying heroin to Eowyn

pay the tab for the rented tablet on the table

other people in your body: in your mind, mouths, sexually, embryo...

surgeon, medical examiner/coroner, telepathy? dreams? schizo? possessed, w/c

disgusting Gus, Nash gnashing his teeth

US, unclean spirit, unpardonable sin, condem-Nation

whoa unto you and woe sadness sorrow grief

mansion?  shun man.  server?  serve her.

poor old blue, poverty, and skin pores

hymn and Hur, the end of a friend, perishing parish

phallic sword and the one ring

sheep and goats, sheeple and greatest of all time

strange angels, and normal storms

everlast boxing equipment, and everlasting fire, eternal flame

feelings in fields, grief for the thief, joy from toys

I'll call, alcohol, tribal tribulation, attacked with tact

a doctor's doctrine, a dog's dogma, cat's catechism

happy with pee, transgressive transexuals

soul sold for a Sol beer and a sole fish, selling celibacy

eunuchs using Unix

fellatio as a form of cannibalism

golden shower and cum pewter

sad sadists, joyful in LaJolla

apes eating apples, bonobos eating bananas

pineapple canteloupe glove

Blue October, 46, forensics

    sad ten, melancholy satan

Ace Young, successful in my youth (academically)

Adventure Challenge (game from Target), act

can you spare a sparrow? tern, tern, tern

just because you lose something doesn't make you a loser

infinitely dead, forgotten, scattered

   oblivion, nihility, emptiness

peace of Jesus, you piece of shit

The End

insane thought:  I'm crazy, I'm worthless, I'm suicidal, so:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

1-800-273-8255 (NSPL)

Gentle Jesus

 Dear Friends,

  Today we are continuing our Series on the fruits of the Spirit. There are 9 of them, enumerated in Galatians 5. Can you name them?  Let’s see….

Love  joy. Peace

Patience. Kindness. Goodness

Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-control 

So what is Gentleness?  Suggestions?

Tied into Meekness, and as we know the meek are not weak!

Moses was the meekest man alive, said God. Teachable, open to reasoning, open to others, accessible. And because of this he was able to lead Israel through 40 tough years in the wilderness. 

  So how can we define gentleness?  The greek word implies “a mild and gentle friendliness, especially referring to the behavior of certain women deities”. Aristotle who defined virtue as the balance between extremes considered it the mid point between a bad tempered indifference and a cloying, pathetic self-abnegation, a false humility, almost a fake meekness.

  I’ll in turn give you my definition. It is a mode of being, a way of relating to the world and others. Gentleness is kindness enacted, manifested, personified. Which leads us to ask, “who is the model or exemplar of such behavior for the Christian?”  Why it is, of course, the Great shepherd, the good shepherd who gives his life for the sheep, The Lord of Glory who came “to serve and not be served”. 

  We read in the Isaiah passage that God is the shepherd of Israel. A shepherd who gathers his lambs in his arms and carries them in his bosom, gently leading the very young to green pastures and slow moving waters for them to drink. Sheep tend to be very skittish around strangers and so to a hireling they will not give their trust. Jesus is a shepherd who calls us by name, he knows us well and his is a voice we can trust and follow his commands.

  When most people think about God they thinks about God’s power, God’s majesty, God’s greatness. But humility and lowliness and gentleness don’t usually top their list. The ancient world was the same. God’s were conquering heroes for the greeks, divine monarchs like the pagan kings of the ancient near east. Molech a war god who demanded child sacrifice to obtain his favor in the battle. But Jahweh, that strange god of the Jews presented Godself as a shepherd, not a god only of power but of divine service, a suffering servant of the people.

-written by my roommate, Michael Helbush

Gentle gentile Jess sez:

    Meek and mild, not harsh, like how you would treat a baby, or an injured puppy.   With care and concern, not trying to “toughen someone up” or punish, insult, anger, or hurt someone, physically or in feelings.  A gentleman is not brute.  A genuinely Gentle Jennifer is not a hard and harsh Marsha (ha).   Getting mental about gentle (Yentl?).  Meek means submissive, but Jesus did not submit to the devil.

    Anyway, gentility does not offend, and often soothes.    Except when folks “like it rough”, like playing football or some rough and tumble in the sack or what have you.  Love is a battlefield and war is hell and and combat is a televised bloodsport, but we all need gentility, too.  A caress, a friendly touch, a kind word, refraining from pointing out faults, driving defensively, putting things diplomatically, not constantly raging against the machine, taking the blue pill, replacing malice with understanding, forgiveness, charitable interpretations, positivity, cheer, joy, love.  

    Most of all, Gentility and gentleness are about making people feel good and not feel bad or worse.  It’s about not stepping on boundaries, or breaking bad news to people gently.  Go gently into the night.   Don’t fight it.   We all die.   OR… Do not go gentle into that good night - Dylan Thomas.   In other words, life is precious and should be fought for at every turn.  Death should be faced with dignity and ferocity, not resignation.  Both concepts are valid (simultaneously, in my view).  Be gentle with yourself.   Don’t condemn yourself to unwarranted guilt or prison or hell or suffering or sadness.  We’re all in the same boat, and everybody goes through the same things.   Nobody’s perfect.  Life gets rough.  Gentleness is a profound virtue.

From A to Z

 Gentle annie, gentle b, gentle criminal, gentle dental, gentle ease, gentle ferber method, gentle giant, gentle hands moving company, gentle induction (prostaglandin, oxytocin, artificially breaking the waters, and a balloon catheter),  gentleman jim, gentle kiss, gentle leader harness, gentle monster (glasses), gentle nudge, gentle on my mind, gentle push/persuasion, gentle rain sounds, gentle souls/shampoo, gentle touch, gently used, gentle voice (not loud, harsh, or threatening), gentle whisper or word, Gentle (X-men character), gentle yoga, gentle zumba.

DONT (dictionary of the New Testament)

powers and principalities, thrones and dominions, 

God and gods and lord and angels and saints and heavenly host

The higest form of God in Heaven (and the lowest deity on earth)

Earth IS Heaven (or SHOULD be), for humans, anyway (evolutionary adaptation)

power and position and authority ("boss")

reptilians, sky-falling space marines, galactic warriors, war angels, 

   and murderous adulterous witch-whores

super-powers and highly attuned senses and heightened perception

enlightened, clear, honorable, with virtue and integrity, 

  love kindness compassion mercy forgiveness grace joy

devotion and delight, health wealth and happiness, pleasure/treasure

equanimity, goodwill, positivity, humor, cheer, fun, play, laughter, bliss

a PhD in pleasure happiness delight

positive psychology, sexology, relationships, and food, vacation, thrills

sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touch (and the "ineffable")

going mental, the sixth sense, and six cents and sick scents

machines that clean the oceans

self-impregnating (Mother of Gawd!)

ghost-state through witchcraft (w/c)

ppa of papa

Father-God in Heaven, in the spirit-realm

king, deliverer, anointed, leader of hope/cause

pure, blessed, sacred, holy, sanctified, consecrated

Depeche Mode song (if you're looking for a reason...), 'Happiness' (movie), Joy dish soap and Cheer detergent and Harmony snacks

delight-   what is light, de-light:  in the dark, darkness, the dark side

pure hell devil. (satanic delight in San Diego, some days)

maoist mice in Los Gatos

Czechs making a mint from sand dollars

Betty the sweaty yeti down by the jetty

Jesse Lawrence Teshara, JLT, jilted, jolted, jailtime

Elon Musk in Iran at dusk

drones, clones, crones, and groans

Joan on the phone honing the tone of her moans

Donner party dinner, and launching lunch

articulate, open, clear, focused

Clarity at Valero about Larry's lair

hamburger in a hammock with Hamas

at pools with pals after the pollls

semolina with salmonella

jail or Sheol?  said Gail or Dale

contentedly contentious

the antitrust antichrist

barnstorming and brainstorming

eclectically electric

trafficking and exploitation and slavery

buy Tony's Chocolonely: to fight

   "1.56 million cases of child labor on cocoa farms in West Africa"

Kamala is always so goddamn giddy

Trump is always shitting on the American people

    lies, nonsense, and meanness

miffed or chuffed

war on Warren?  come on, command...

suicidal ideation, plan, means, intent

homicidal ideation in HI

follow up?  FU!

Munny

I just signed up for an app on my phone (cashwalk) that pays me to walk.   Granted, it's maxed at $5 every 50 days (100 steps is 1 coin, and 5 thousand coins is $5, and 10,000 steps a day is the limit).   So, if I walk enough, I'll earn like $35 in a year, lol.  It's funded by the health department, to save healthcare costs (and get people motivated to get off their asses).

I signed up for a focus group product testing with user interviews (Project Pismo, with Meta) and earned $125.    I had to travel to Burlingame, though.   Which was okay, because I used to work at the Hyatt Regency SFO 30 years ago, and wanted to see how it changed (a lot).  Plus, I finished early, so it was only an hour of my time.

wurd to your müther

wordplay and world pay, world peace and whirled peas

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

respect my existence or expect my resistance

erotic rockets and sexy exes and horny jazz players

the cannibal can nibble on chewy Chuy (taste E? tasty!) (yummy me)

muy yummy, scrumptious rump, delightfully delicious delicatessen

satisfying flying, rewarding psych ward, and pleasant lesbians 

problems with collecting evidence against criminals, yourself:

1. not collected by peace/police officer/deputy/agent of law/people

2. hair/fiber evidence like "hearsay" (not matched to dna? source fabric, etc.)

3. could be "planted"

        e.g. false evidence (by criminal), or even by collector

short exercise list:

plank, run, burpies, lunge, squat, jumprope, 

shakes (like "shake-weight" but without weight), pushups, pike pushups, 

   yoga, stretches (touch toes, legs apart, hurdler, groin, thigh-opener, shoulder)

depression meds can make a world of difference

   biochemical or situational/contextual?

PeACE quote:

"There is no easy or quick or infallible approach to a secure peace.  It is only by a patient, persistent, undismayed effort, by trial and error, that peace can be won." -Ralph Bunche