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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
I'm a straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 55) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2500 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Thursday, September 24, 2020

Reading Milton with Paris Hilton

but hopefully not Ovid, with Covid!

 Paris Hilton sang a song called “Jealousy.”   To me, it sounds like she’s saying Jesse.   It’s hot.   My middle initial is L (for Lawrence, my dad’s name), so that works, too.  Jesse, with an interpolated L.   Secondly, I’m God, (like everybody else), and God’s name is Jealous.   The quote, from the Bible, (Exodus 34:13), says: “you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.”  It’s the last fact in my book, 100 things you’re not supposed to know, by Russ Kick.  I know I’m not supposed to know.   To “know” biblically, is to have sex with.  Paris is currently knowing Carter Reum.  As in, “get a room.”  If she ever fools (falls out of love), or simply wants to have an open relationship, or know me on the side (discretion is advised?), or wants to know God, as it were, then I’m available.   “Nobody wins when you’re full of envy,” she sang.  But God is love, and love is jealous.  God loves everyone.  God hates the exclusionary rule, lol.  (That actually refers to illegally obtained evidence, not relationships).  Maybe God is kind of a slut.  He knows everything, and loves everyone.


Paris Whitney Hilton.   Whitney is associated with Houston, another city.  Paris wants to have twins, a boy and a girl, and the girl’s name will be London.  She hasn’t decided on the name for the boy.  It doesn’t have to be a city, she says.  So, I’m thinking maybe Brandon (to go with London), or Phil (from P-aris HIL-ton), or Phillip.  She has a resort in Philippines, in addition to 25 fragrance lines.  She calls it an “empire.”  I guess that makes her an emperor.   Maybe she prefers the term empress.   There are poets and poetesses.  Her partner is therefore an emperor, or a king, or a boss of some kind (pope? Lol).  She was raised Catholic.  She wants to prove she’s not a dumb blonde, but actually a savvy businesswoman, by earning a billion dollars.   Also, she thinks she won’t have to worry, after she makes that.  She’s already worth (an estimated) $300 million.   She admits, “I know that sounds crazy.”   It is.  But a billion can buy a lot of bliss, and it’s as good a goal as anything else, in this crazy world.  I hope she spends it well.


Another boy's name is Brussels.   It’s a city, it’s a philosopher (PH, her initials, make me think of PhD, doctor of philosophy: the D is a smile emoticon).   PhD also reminds me of post hole digger, lol.  ANyway, the philosopher is Bertrand Russell.  He wrote an history of philosophy, which I haven’t read yet, but want to.  I have AC Grayling’s history, at the moment.  So B Russell, combined, forms a city: it works on 3 levels! (a city, a philosopher, and a male name).  I’m not telling her what to pick, but those were my thoughts.  She’s been on my mind, lately.  I watched her free, self-made YouTube video, This Is Paris, and it took a hold of my imagination.  I read the Wikipedia pager on her, I listened to her music on my Amazon Echo (i have a music subscription), and I watched an interview with her and her sister, Nicky (the red dress thing), in addition to the hour+ documentary.  She’s smart, gorgeous, rich, famous, wise, kind, happy, musical, authentic, a good actress, honest, bold, ambitious, and non-exclusionary.  I like how she doesn’t blink.  My aunt say its probably because of botox.   People hate her.  I realize she’s widely reviled.  I think she’s amazing.  Much love, and respect.  I wish her the best.  I’d like to know her.   I’m a fan.  She’s sexy and cool.  Hot!  Possibly too skinny, to be honest.


I’m single, and haven’t dated in years, and am a dog walker, a blogger, and an uncle (Uncle Jesse!, the real thing).   I like to write, I like Nature, and Iove music and books, too.  I keep myself busy.  I read the daily NY TImes, and the weekly Economist.  My blog gets a fair amount of traffic.  I check the number of page views status daily.   I’m also disabled, mentally ill, schizophrenic, mad crazy insane, nuts, and loco.  But then again, so is reality.  I have a voice, as they say.  I believe I’m a telepath, just like how God hears prayer.  So I’m a bit unusual.  My philosophy is outside the box, too.  But I like it, and it may even be true.   I grew up Catholic (my aunt is a nun), was voted most kind, was an Eagle Scout, went to college at UC Davis (International Relations major, Spanish minor), and walk dogs with Wag! (and also freelance).  I hope to publish.  


How would I spend a billion dollars?  That’s what money is for, after all.  No good just sitting in a bank account.   Make the world a better place!  Reduce suffering, increase happiness.  Spend it wisely.   Get the biggest bang for your buck.  Use cost : benefit analysis (cba).  Personally, I like libraries.  And I think prisoners should have access to as wide a selection of books as possible, on kindles or something.  We shouldn’t be trying to make prison miserable.  I’ve been in jail, myself.  Wikipedia is the best thing on the internet.  I think there should be trivia questions attached to every article.  But before libraries, even, come basic needs:  food, shelter, clothing, clean water, sanitation, and universal healthcare as a human right.   And love.  Cupid can be stupid, so scientific matchmaking is in the mix.  Don’t spend money on conspicuous consumption, just to make people jealous, to feel superior, to beat the Jones’, to have the most shit.   We all want something beautiful, but Paris shouldn’t be a trophy wife, even if she is a lovely, gorgeous model.  $300 million is pretty sexy, too.


Love is a battlefield, sings Pat Benatar.   God, who is love, is a man of war.  God is a soldier and a warrior.  Islam is surrender to God.  Do you not know that you are not your own? (1 corinthians 6:19).   Lovers claim possession of each others’ hearts.   I’m not trying to be the alpha male gorilla, but I believe in freedom.  No promises, no demands.  People change.  Love must be constantly renewed.   One, or both, can grow closer, or apart, and nothing lasts forever, even diamonds.  No one lives forever, either.   True love is fleeting, ephemeral, transitory, impermanent, and temporary, like everything else.  Heaven is being in love, on earth.  Hell is the place of the dead, where we all will go, the universal destiny.   There is no suffering in hell.  So in that respect, oblivion is heaven.  But there is bliss, while alive.  If you have a billion dollars, you can significantly reduce the hell on earth, like war and poverty and sickness and premature death and hatred and misery.  You can also make a happy, healthy, sane, and sexy world of love, loving, lovers, and the Louvre!  Like Paris!  My view is you should lift the most needy, then progress to things like nature, travel, comedy, fine dining, drugs, and music.  The first priority should be yourself, of course.   Make yourself happy, then others.  Look out for number One.


God is One.  Becoming one flesh, the beast with two backs, lol.   Mr. Right.  The One.   Smitten, and smiting.  Killing it.  A slayer.  Making a killing.  Slaying the crowd.  Said the blonde bombshell.  Sliving.  Like Buffy.   Or Aileen Wuornos.  Get real.  You don’t really want to be a serial killer.   Or maybe you do.  Theoretically - if there were no consequences.  Just eat Life cereal.  That’s a close as you ever want to get.  Orgasm is called the “little death.”  Murder a pussy?  101 uses for a dead cat (a humorous book I had as a kid).  College knowledge.  That’s hot!  I dated an Ellen French.  We french-kissed.   A former flame.  NV LN?  Thou shalt not kill.  Hell as a place of fire and brimstone.  Justice is just ice!  You can’t spell slaughter without laughter.   Or have a funeral without fun.  Vicarious experience through reading allows the imagination to go where the law precludes and prohibits.  You can read Milton with Paris Hilton, or Ovid with covid!   Poetry with Edgar Allen Poe.  Essays from South America.  Get gabby with Gabo.  Sin with Anais Nin.  But I digress, tigress.   Horror with the whorer.   Loving Courtney.  Or an imperious empress.  


PH.  The list:  I know PH didn’t go to college, but PhD is the first thing I think.  Philosophy.  Pretty hot.  Potentially hell, potential happiness.  Hot piss.  Philter.   Pussy hell (hello kitty).  Phat, pretty hot and tempting.  Philtrum.  Phlegm.  Pharaoh.  Oomph.  Phew.  Philology.  Pheromones.  Ph, acid - base, ass id and al quaeda.  Philandering.   Philomena.  Diaphragm.


I’m not a fuckboy.  But you can treat me like one.  One night stand, or The One, take your pick.  Unless I’m a zero.  A hole.  I’m not a dick, or an asshole.   1’s and zero’s, dicks and pussies, phallic and yonnic, the triquetra.  I’m not cocky, either.  Volvo vulva.  The vagina monologues.  Cock-blocker.  Do you call your country a cunt?  See you next tuesday.  P- whipped.  Gay paree.  What’s in a name.  Tomboy.  Bury it to the hilt.  Stupid blonde?  Or savvy businesswoman. SB. Rhyme crime: boy toy, stupid cupid, dimwit dipshit, idiot kids, imbecile in his domicile, furious jury, ignorant pig, dumb bum, retarded lard ass, punks on junk.   Spit some witty shit, and hit it.   Gr, greed, grace, gratitude, grappling, gray, grover, grim reaper, Hermione granger.   Anger, and grass, and gravity, and girls.   Gird for war.


Fragrance flow:  Flagrantly fragrant.  flags, fags, and france.   25 scents, making cents, makes sense.  Just like Victoria’s Secret is making you feel ugly, the secret of cologne/edt for men is to make you think you stink!    Frayed nerves, afraid, terrorism, rants, ants, anthropology, antichrist, aunt, ontology, entomology, theology, aesthetics, prosthetics.   Better living through chemistry.  Perfumes, drugs, pheromones…  Wash away my iniquity, and cleanse me of my sin.   AMISH, lol.   Photography is sinful?   Paris is the Amish antichrist, lol.   Captured soul!   Help, health, helen, helter-skelter, helvetia, helm, hello, Joseph heller, hell’s bells.   Various hells.  Fire in the belly and passion burning hot.   Coming in hot!   War is hell.  Chess is war.  Obsession by Calvin Klein, the enemy, lol.  Not a calvinist.  Horse sense.  St. Francis and SF and suck/fuck.  Assissi and si, si.  yes, yes.  CC, conspicuous consumption.  cash, capitalism.  materialism, and the material girl, living in a material world.  Spirit?  Spear it!  Penetration.  Love, in the void.  Tempting empress of hemp.  SOS, sense of smell.   business, busy-ness.  The woman who has everything, wanting yet more.  Driven, but with a DUI, so in need of a chauffeur gopher.  A BILLION DOLLARS.   There are 1100 of them on earth.  Join the club to feel okay, to not have to worry.  Is it really necessary?  A goal, an objective, a purpose, an organizing principle, so why not?  Maybe she’ll spend it perfectly.   Nomad, with no madness.  Achievable, but overkill.  We know, you’re not dumb.  Or maybe you are.  Like me.  Empty mind, with what the Buddhists call “no-self.”  Just playing a role, all the world’s a stage, all of us actors, even our true selves.   Don’t worry, be happy.  You have nothing to prove.  The price of alleviated anxiety isn’t as high as that, I think.   I mean, only 1100 people on earth don’t have to worry?  That’s not true.  All you need is food and shelter!  (and things like peace and health).  Delusional, but it doesn’t hurt to think big, unless you become a soulless money-machine zombie.   Are female dogs bitchy?  Get real.   BIG.  Believe in god.  Money, my one.  Achieve purpose, die fulfilled.  Attachments are the root of suffering.  Enjoy idleness, indolence, and leisure!  Work hard, party hard, and relax totally.   Contentment and ease.  Go slow.  Languid.  Meditate.  Chill.  AGNES of God, lol:  A Good Night’s Sleep.   :-). Do you. Simply be.  Pleasure, leisure, and ignore censure.  Bible says all is vanity, frustration, futility, absurdity, nonsense.  Do what thou wilt.  I have goals, too.  Maintain, improve strength, fitness, sanity (in an insane world).  


We all want something beautiful, counting crows.  Superficial, deep.  Skin, honda (‘deep’, in spanish).  Clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry?  Who gives a fuck.   Red dress, matrix.  Slaying, buffy.  perfume, hannibal.  Facial, American psycho.  Dumb and dumber, dad.  Jesse’s girl, rick springfield.  Jealousy, gin blossoms.  Teshara, he a star.   GOD, great out doors.   The sun is always down and dawn, at the same time.  Ambition, am bit, gambit.   god, goals objectives discipline.  BED, bde, billion dollar entrepreneur.  Best of luck.  Good skill.  May the force be with you.  Or maybe not (the police!).  V and V, vogue and vanity fair.  Eye teeth.   I ain’t a player, I just crush alot.  I’m not oversexed or greedy.   I do want my blog to be more popular.   I have no ego, little id, and a consensus-reality superego.  My life is an open book.  I hope you don’t have to fend off suitors.   Number 1, the One, a perfect 10, or a one night stand, or a complete zero.  It’s a numbers game.   Buddhist, no attachments, not clingy or possessive, free.  Wake up, come to, cum 2, come together, over me, ha ha.  Heartache to heartache we stand.  Ghost in a shell, mind in a body, brain in a skull, vessel in a matrix.   Chicken in a cat.  Cock in a pussy.   Mindfuck, all in all is all we are.   Open-minded, thoughts interpenetrate.   Linger longer, makes dogs happy.  Money, honey.  Have fun in the sun.   Upending stereotypes, something to prove: like black power and racism, feminism and sexism, gay pride and homophobia.   SB, Simple and Brilliant, supreme being, goddess :-)  status, respect, equality, love.  We’re all deities.

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Money and the Big Picture

$$$$

End suffering.  Maximize health.  Love. Happiness. 

Change people’s heads, satisfied with basic needs met, not driven to be a billionaire!

(but a billion can buy a lot of bliss)

Libraries, literacy


G’night


Money, well spent.

Eliminating misery, creating happiness

Meeting basic needs, food, shelter, clothing, health, peace, 

   safety, security, sanitation, clean water

Libraries, fast internet, movies, education and training

restaurants, delicious food

A chance, dance, romance, music, love-bliss

Exercise, endorphins, sweat, improvement, progress, fitness

Look good, feel good

Achievement, reward, money

Contentment and satisfaction

Strong and well and beautiful

Relaxed, laid back, languid

motivation, goals, bucket list, ambition

friends, family, support, some love


Or, alternatively, a whole lot of heroin

Fuck


Happy me

Everything I need

money, power, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, truth, enlightenment

sex, love, lust

Need nothing, not even survival, totally open

Or maybe just food, shelter, and a library (wealth)

And health (no, not hell, health; there’s a difference)

I’d like to die happy, though.   Everyone dies.  That’s a fact, jack.

Accept reality.   Radically accept all reality.  Even the pain and death (while avoided til the end.)

Recognition, praise, reward, love, achievement, winning, honor, gratitude, respect.  

Help and assist and serve 

and make a difference and leave the world a better place than you found it, better for your presence.


Raise a family?

Fall in love, first.   Fall?   From the heights of glory?  

God is love.   Love on high.  Praise, the p raise.   

ceo, eco,  cum ecstasy orgasm

flirt, Spurt in a yurt, hurt, dirt

A bert n ernie shirt


books: freedom, escape

    entertainment, engagement, engrossed

    transportation, time-travel, new worlds

    enlarge your mind, alternate perspectives

curiosity, research, education, learning

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Paris Hilton

 Paris H

PHD

D is a smile

she is smart.  How smart am I?

How many kinds of genius are there?

How far is she from being a billionaire?  700M to go!  300M, says Alexa (USD), “is worth”

She wants a daughter named London (right?)

Is she in a relationship?  She believes in love.   Since April 2019.  Carter something.

Post hole digger

PH, philosophy: AC Grayling, HOP.   Also, Bertrand Russell (I think).

And of course, Michael Jubien.  G!  

From UC Davis, metaphysics.  I always got an A-.   Messed with my head.

German Gullon is God, said Mary, who disappeared off the face of the earth, the internet.

Philosopher, like Michael.  Philosopher’s Club, bar in SF.  The schizophrenic, brother of

    Hi how are you guy (right?), maybe..

          Ellen Covington-French, Sarah Jessica Parker,  Sara Lucille Brown (slab)

Just a slob like one of us, schlumberger, shlub

European cycling federation

elle, magazine.

Coveting

French-kissing 

LN and KT and JC

Gay paree

Play the part to the hilt

Hi LT on, ton (LT, my dad, long-term) (High, hell low)

     (drugs, trauma, recurring abduction nightmare) on and on and on.

Hill (king of the), (  -ill). (sick, diseased; satan, devil). Ill without L (no el) coward

Camus, Sartre, sisyphus (myth)

Dung beetle, the metamorphosis, Kafka

     Humans as bugs, Whatever

What am I worth? Haha

She’s gorgeous, I haven’t seen the digital rape

The brand vs. the human being

looks, smarts, money, fame, wisdom, hopefully love, happiness, contentment, ease

Clarity, lack of guilt

She has my respect

Authenticity, no meds, not acting (estranged from self, true identity)

Doesn’t have to be what people want her to be, demand, expectations

A billion is a LOT of fucking money. 

So is 300 million.  Equanimity, satisfaction, or living up to potential, reaching goal (30% is respectable, how old is she?  39. 2/17/81.  I’m 49.  A decade older.  

Her middle name is Whitney.  pwh.   Password h.  Per hour.  Powhatten (?) white house.

Wit.  with.  hit.  Knee.  Nights who say Nee!  Yen.    With yen.  :-)

Money makes me happy, too.

H ill ton  (god is sick?). (that would explain a lot)

Hannibal, hospital, Honda, heaven, hell, happy, healthy, holy, his and her…

Not ill, H

Li is lithium (mood stabilizer)

A ton (1 short ton) is 2000 pounds.   1400 pounds is the record.  John something.

Holt rhinehart and winston 

What does she want to do with a billion dollars?

You can eat

What would I do with a billion?  Good question.

What’s the best way to make the world better?  WayS.  Happiness investment.

parish and perish

Friday, September 18, 2020

Sick, Stupid, Sad

my voice and Hershey's, rice crispies, snickers, etc.

gawk, observe, discuss:  astrolatry and theophobia, fear of god (spun as respect, reverence, awe) 

fossil fuels kill 4 million people a year, worldwide (FF xx 4m/yr, ww)

wiggers and Uighurs

there's an actual Happy Hall, in San Bruno (where I went? is that the actual name?)

stupid sexist offensive insane icp (insane clown posse) - style rap:  slaughter your daughter, drink her blood like water, bet you're wondering how I got her, first I slapped her on the butt, then I called her a dirty slut, she responded well to that, said she liked my belly fat, so I stuck a gun up in her, knew I had a real winner, she squealed girly with delight, and she was mine, for the night.  (I know, sorry)

gooks with nukes, I'm gonna puke, Pozzi is a nazi (from happy daze), consuming doom, looser producers, beat your meat, heat on the street, fine wines and fine dining, meet and greet, then eat meat, angry and hungry, sick of dicks, suck and fuck, whores at war, rhyme crime, and subliminal criminals, punks on junk, have I gotten rotten?, rap crap, spit shit, stupid cupid, tip-top hip-hop, sick music muse, Hershey's commercial, eat chocolate or be outlined in chaulk, racist fascist bassist, funny money, for honey-bunny, the rain said I'm brain dead, meth death.

bumper sticker: I do what my rice crispies (RC) tell me!  (Pope? nope): snap, crackle, pop.  neck, crack cocaine, (shoot a gun, pop a condom, be a dad) 

sneaky snakes snack on snickers;  Microsoft and Siemens (haha); Bing! being in Beijing :-)

ferrous wheel: SI (steel, iron) (Stalin and the iron giant)

ffff: fewer fossil fuels future!!

flea: federal law enforcement agencies (lice and police), (mafia and Bugsy)

humanity is not souls, just bodies, flesh and blood, meat and bones, ligaments and tendons, future worm food, dead meat, what you eat less what you excrete, ingest minus egest, eat and drink minus piss and shit, consume vs. prosume (ha, I made that up).  PROcess.  everything is impermanent.   Ebonics says everything is "shit."  I said some shit about shit, to all you shits, feeling shitty.  stuff= excrement.  Actually, a fundamental buddhist insight, you might say.  All things arise, and decay.  You WILL be flushed.  Shit is butt-babies, if you want to be indelicate.  Twisted, like licorice (who cares, right?).  Biochemicals, carbon-based lifeforms, just animals, nothing special, no better than ants, the study of humanity is ANT-hropology (all apologies to the ants!!), we are generated, then dissipate, like everything else, she-it.  

Respect!

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

dawg

 bitches, snitches, and riches

cons: connection and contradiction

when you talk about love, everyone is an authority.   god is love.  we come from love, and go toward love, guided by love.   We fall in love, and fall out of love.   Love must be periodically renewed.  Amor is Roma, backwards.  Making love, making babies.  Love is all there is.  A part of evolution.  Luvs diapers.  Rhymes with Duv, above, and gov.   Let the lovers be, haters.  Vole is an animal.  A part of Voldemort.  You got to let love rule.  Love Almighty.   Always and everywhere, meaning and purpose.  Love yourself, love another, love all, love reality.   Love life.  Happy happy, joy joy.  Satisfaction, contentment, bliss.   May your story be a love story.  Dance and romance.   Love city and velocity.  Lovers under the covers.  Tex-mex and a sex hex.  Please, come in.  Welcome.  Income, and going on dates.     Cheers, Jess

I walked Junie and Snoopy, today (half hour, and an hour and a half).   First time I've ever walked somebody for 1.5 hours.   I let him linger longer, on smells.  Snoopy stops for new pee.  Pee-mail.  I let the paws pause, for olfactory investigation.  Happy dog.  I had to pee, myself.   Lucky dog - doesn't have to hold it.   Same story, tomorrow.   Today we walked out to Aquatic Park / the train tracks, and back.  Happy dog, and I get paid to exercise - happy me, too.  I bought a sourdough jack, on my way back.    :-)

Friday, September 11, 2020

SI

 My high school (college preparatory), and a few more

St. Ignatius (in San Francisco), Silay Institute (a philippine college), supplementary instruction

smart intelligent, stupid ignorant, seriously ill, self-injury, swarm intelligence, synthetic intelligence

sports illustrated, skeptical inquirer, social improvement, smithsonian institute, systeme international (metric system), sport injected (honda), silicon, a chinese dessert, and socialist international

staten island, sleeping in, sexual intercourse, suck it, spanish for yes, homonymous with c, see, sea

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

A few G.O.D.s

(Revisiting this): 38 Godly acronyms

good old days, good orderly direction, grand old duke, German-occupied Denmark, godly ordained deacon, genie of delight, game/grief of death, gulf of Darien, general officer's directive, globally organized development, god or devil, good or diabolical, gratitude or despair, give over documents/data, guano-originated disease (e.g. histoplasmosis), (halloween) giving out dulces ('sweets' in spanish)

a few more:

great omniscient deity, gathering of deities, group of drunks, generator operator destroyer, global orbiting device, gravitational orbits dynamics, general operating device, gamemaster on duty, game on disc, gold oil diamonds, god's medicine opium dope (heroin, H), guns orgies drugs, guaranteed overnight delivery, global online directory, guardians of darkness/democracy, gathering of developers, groove overdose, good old dad, gone- over- dead.

goods and services:  going out of date, going out on date, good outcome of deal; service! : serving ice, serving the ic (intelligence community), sir vice.   (I used to know a Leslie Servus). 

church, 38 ur 38 (trinity god, you are, (above) list of 38), clear head, clean heart.  you can't have church without hurt?  or chert? or urchins?

Saturday, September 5, 2020

masd

Combat

Martial arts, self-defense


Pow!  Blam!  Slash!

A punch, a gunshot, an unexpected sharp knife!

Jesus.  Hey.  Ow, ouch. Shit.  cross.  

Pain.  


I’m bored.  I have nothing to say.  

Smack!  A slap.

Oof!  A gut punch.  Or a kick.  A blow.

Blinded by blood and sweat.

struck dumb, struck blind


Boom boom boom boom

Precision striking.   Heavy blows.   Powerful, speed and strength.  

A barrage of overwhelming force.

You win.


Master all the moves, become a killing machine

A ninja, an assassin, an elite super-soldier

A move that cannot fail:  Invincible, superior, stronger

Prowess, practice and training, skill, flexibility, perfection

go slow, wake up early, empowerment


Bigger, stronger, faster, more powerful, stamina, experience, talent, will

God, luck, teamwork, love, madness, fighting spirit, and grit

Styles, military, the way of peace, lifestyle, immersion, diet, drugs

Shaolin kung-fu, aikido, jiu-jitsu, wing chun, krav maga, boxing

Total commitment, screaming banshee, no rules, survival


Jumprope, jogging, sprints

blood, sweat, and tears

pressure points, chin na, fight smart, with heart

Wrestling, grappling, gymnastics, capoeira, kickboxing

bodybuilding, karate, acting, spy craft

Less words, more action.   

But maybe when it comes to conflict resolution via combat, we should observe the obverse,  more words and less action!  war is absurd, pointless, and stupid.

Infinity

 8 Sideways is the symbol

Any number, you can always add one more.   But you never reach infinity.   Space is infinite, going ever smaller, as well as ever larger.   Time is infinite, in both directions, I think.   The past is infinite, and the future is infinite.   So spacetime, I gather, is (too, as well, also).  Once you're dead, you're dead forever.  I've seen a stereo for sale with the symbol for infinity on the volume dial.   I've also heard black holes described as having infinite gravity.   I've read A Brief History of Time, that claims there was no "before" the universe, because time is a part of spacetime, which began with the Big Bang.  Well, hopefully someone can make all this clear to/for me, but I stubbornly think I know the answer, already, honestly.

I could be bound in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space.   That's true!  I've seen those computer screen-savers, that get ever smaller, and those describes reality, imho.  Subatomic particles get pretty small, but maybe you can fit a universe into one, honestly.  You can put quite a lot onto the head of a pin.   There are infinite infinities.   I've also thought, as regards the universe expanding, like a loaf of bread, that that reality can be equally described as everything shrinking, lol.   Just like each of us can be the center of the universe.   Or the sun can be understood as spinning around the earth.  If you keep an open mind, it's all true, even if some descriptions are easier to understand.   

Anyway, my main point is there are two kinds of infinity.   Bound infinity, and true infinity.  There's only one True Infinity.  You can go ever-smaller, but if you're outside something, you know there's a limit.   But the Universe, as I see it, goes on forever and ever (and ever!).   There isn't a wall on the outside of spacetime.  I don't think that entails infinite variations on the reality we experience, or multiple selves, or anything like that.  But that's fun to think about.  

The biggest number is a googolplex, I guess.   Infinity is big, bigger, the biggest.   You could have a googolplex googolplexes, and you still wouldn't scratch the surface.   Alright?  In that respect, infinity is kind of silly, because we can conceive of the concept, but have difficulty with the reality.   If God is everywhere, and is infinitely loving, that's quite a concept.   Allah has all in it.  Catholic means universal.  If it's all God, all love, all good, then we really have it good, when there's that concept of hell floating around, a place of eternal torment, that exists only virtually, in our imaginations, and is temporary, like everything else, as the Buddha might point out.  Impermanence is a feature of reality.  Even a diamond is not forever.  Stars burn out.  Books turn to dust.  The universe will eventually come to heat death, if I understand correctly.  Well, it's certainly interesting.   That's all I have to say.

Actually, no.  Computers may get so advanced, that virtual realities may become as real as our own.  Every book could be entered into, as it's own world.   "Reality" could be difficult to distinguish from the many virtual varieties.  Wow, huh?  Life is fun, already.   It just gets better, I hope.  Imagination does a lot of the work, already, so I'm in no hurry for alternate worlds.  But time traveling robots, visits to exoplanets, immersive video games, dreams, etc.  can get quite good / real.   Jesus, I guess, thought his dreams were a heavenly kingdom he and any followers could go to, if they lived virtuous lives that pleased his Heavenly Father.  Maybe there's some truth in that.  His face appears on toast, lol.   I'm content to read science fiction, and enjoy progress as it unfolds, in these amazing times, during my lifetime.

It's kind of fun to think that God makes One and Infinity the same thing!  (all in all is all we are)  :-)

Friday, September 4, 2020

50th

49, actually 

well, another year, another trip around the sun, a little more grey hair, some added knowledge, experience, and wisdom, some growth and progress, a little closer to death, unless I moved it out further, which I suppose is also possible, and a whole lotta water under the bridge, a year’s worth of history and news and emails and reading and exercise, and a little closer to finishing my bucket list, and hopefully personal progress to being healthier, saner, fitter, stronger, better prepared, and even being happy and content, no matter what.  

Next year?  A few more friends, a few more books, and satisfaction and pride, in who I am and what I’ve done, and where I’m going, and what I’ve written, and how I’ve helped, hopefully.   Onward, ever upward, growth and progress, like body building, books, and clean eating, more moral, less lesbian, lol.  Just a funny thought.  Well, whatever.  Live and learn. Leave and love.   Life and leaves.  Trees and me.  Plants, ants, and dance and romance.  It’s all good.  Having fun, going for a run, getting it done, my time in the sun.  Laughter and entertainment and being prepared, with practice and training.  Working hard, doing your duty, following your passion, helping others, service and self-improvement, looking out for number one, and making the world a better place.  


A little pep talk to myself, :-)

None of us are ever really alone, especially people who talk to themselves, people with invisible friends, people who pray, and of course, schizos.  Is there a difference, I ask?   We may not want someone else in our heads, but we still might want God to hear our prayers...


I turned 49 on the 3rd.   But my first birthday was the actual day of my birth, right?  The "zero-eth" birthday!  The real one!  So, 50 if you want to be clever.  But 49 is a fun one, too.  I'm in the Bay Area, grew up in SF, and lived in gold country.   Go, Niners!  Athletes are good role models, strong and healthy, talented and hard-working, driven and motivated, seeking to be their best.

random thoughts

a few for you

who wishes to do dishes?  I am unaware of your underwear!

good and bad:  going out of date, and burn and destroy

 which came first? the chicken or the egg.   which hand was nailed to the cross first?  which side in chess goes first?  

questions:  how do they make seedless watermelons?  how do they make the ghosts at Disneyland?  where do bugs go when it rains?  

kind of whack, actual fact:  905,000 people have died from covid, worldwide, so far

a dweeb is a boring, studious, and socially inept person (we are... S..I!)

fu:  fu-manchu, f- you, and the future.     fool, food, fuel, and the foo fighters, too.

masturbators can go f- themselves! (this phrase might come in handy)

the sky and this guy;   bang bang bang - ain't no thang

skilled at killing, boots on the ground, with marching orders, en marche

twerps of Antwerp, ring a Belgium?  How bout a fourth visit to the Firth of Forth?  No, I don't know anything about German germs, or Polish poles, or Lithuanian lithium, or Russian rush, or European pee.

compass of compassion, dad: desire to alleviate distress

pandemic panic, and panda pandemonium, manic and satanic

hissing at the (sick, sad, and stupid) state school system (sss), like sneaky sibilant snakes (said the student from st. Stephen's).

few, fight execute win.  the few, the proud. (phew, proud boys), the marine layer, lol.

what's all the fuss about Sisyphus?  Camus ain't new.   He has to haul up a hellish hill.   His body is an abject object.   True or false, torture and flames?  poem and poet:  places of eternal misery/torment, poetess: + extremely savage, sadistic;  paint and propane and windows

magical madrigal, holiness of homeless, homely Holness, hardcore cardboard tard-lord, wed and bed, conjoined groins, boy-toy, dining and dishonor, infamy, notoriety;   glory of depravity

God, 7-15-4 (26),    Church, jew you are Jesus;   Jew, 10-5-23 (38),  church (3-8-21-18-3-8) (7)

Jesus, 10-5-19-21-19 (74) G-D!, cyclical sickness, homicidal homies, suicidal sue, sick o' more sycamores (diseased trees)

the celibate elephant is selling halibut for the helluvit

quiet riot, twisted sister, worthless and weak, all apologies, vices of god: gluttony obscenity, drowsiness

HH:  his holiness (pope, dalai lama), henry hudson, howard hughes, hulk hogan, bra size, his highness, heaven hell, healthy happy, hatred hostility, heavenly host, happy hall, hilton hotel, huge hugo

Kelpy G and Garfield Odie had a baby: G + OD; Schubert: Shoe + Dilbert

tools and techniques, to uncover and discover, mandarin mandolins?  greg is in a segregated congregation.  either/or or iron ore?   the gun-runners are having fun... a bat tat, skink ink, and rat, too (tattoos).

geezus, G's us, hey zeus:  Christ! it's so cold my tears are frozen! (cry-iced)

cultivating a cult with a unique culture, on my apple (apples have around 7500 cultivars)

bodybuilding, muscular hypertrophy, max muscle / min fat, in a quest for strength, mass, and beauty.   appearance, aesthetics.   strength, size.  athleticism, endurance.  form, function, fitness, flexibility.  mass monster, or King Kong strong, or heavy and huge, or simply, The Best.  Be all that you can be.  bbbbbb (biggest, baddest, and best bodybuilding beast!)

spider monkey and spider man; catfish and lion fish (and batman), elephant seal, horsefly..

meat is malicious and vicious, but also delicious and nutritious!

delirium tremens vs. jingle bells

om and am: ocean monk, ave maria.    Im, international master, iron man.

it's not insane if you repeat it often enough

potential potentate on potent pot

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Racism

Prison gangs, black vs. white

1. Society should not be a giant prison.  That goes for Democrats vs. Republicans, blue vs. red, too.

2. Chess, also black vs. white.  Society is not binary, zero-sum, good vs. evil, winner take all, dark side vs. the light.   Kings and queens don't have to be the same color.  It's just a game.  Life doesn't have to be nothing but "moves."

3. The force, in Star Wars, is also something kind of racist, no?  Police are called a force.  The cars are black and white.  Force is 2 (66935), too.  Every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners, saints :-)

4. Fourthly, tires.   Tires are always black.  Tired of being black?  Tired of blacks?  Retired?  Just plain tired?  Sleep is usually at night, when you're tired, when it's dark, but car tires need not always be black, if anyone but me thinks there's something subliminal going on here.  Haha.

5. black churches, black comedians, black music, black colleges.  I'm sorry, but I think this is all kind of racist.  Maybe I just don't get it.  Maybe I'm the racist.  But I don't think so.

6. marriage attire.  White brides, and black grooms.   What's that all about?  Is one undercover, like a chess queen at war?  Chess is war, and the art of war is deception.  Just a thought.

7. Race doesn't even exist.  It's all in our heads.  I mean, there are some very dark skinned people, and some very light skinned, but there's also everything in between, and we're all just humans.  That's what I believe, anyway.

8. The Pope.  He doesn't have to wear white.  He doesn't have to wear a Joseph coat of many colors, either.   He's just a guy.  He should have the freedom to wear any colors he likes!  That's also my opinion.   Goodness as light is a weird fucking metaphor, in my opinion.  

9.  seeing things in "black and white."   There's a lot of gray.   There are some absolutes, but everything's relative, they say, too.  Is it gray or grey, for example, lol.  Oreos and wiggers??  Really?  I'm not buying it.

10. Black metal.  Dark and foreboding.  b.a.d., black as death.  Let there be light.  Light-hearted.  Bright, dim minds (be right, descent into madness).  Black as subliminally lack of B (whatever that is), missing something.  White has height, progressing to ever higher heights of greatness.  The dark lord.  The son (sun) of man, the morning star, the light of the world, whose burden is light, bestowing enlightenment.  You get the point.   It's kind of random.  Bad stuff happens during the day, and Good stuff happens at night, too.  Always look on the bright side of life.  Jesus healed the blind.   I happen to think DAE is often evil, as it happens.  But, anyway.  Sunny disposition, dark and gloomy nights, a glowing smile, a brilliant mind, a dark outlook, a black cat, a white knight.   It could all be neutral, like the inky blackness of space, white or black trash bags, or lighting up a cigarette (cig - you're fired!, lol). 

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

New Post

Yet another, One more


To be a writer, all you gotta do is write!  

Stream of consciousness, flow, river, flood, right as rain.

All going downward, to the ocean of hell, the depths, honda, deep

Darkness, bottom-dwellers, strange and solitary creatures, scuttling crabs, and such.

Just another book in an unread library, as immortal as dust, that go (even diamonds decay)

No one lives forever.  Jesus, the light?  Stars die, too.  

So that’s the truth, the whole truth, so help me, Buddha.

Cold and dark and empty, like the universe,  Boring. Quiet. Uncaring, indifferent.

The earth, having it’s miraculous day in the sun.

Is that the right expression? Dits, ditto.

My immortality project, blog posts.

Plus some paper.

Absurd, temporary, and dull.


Exciting Writing is new, fresh, interesting, clever, smart, wise, alliterative, assonant, rhyming, comprehensive, thoughtful, fun, sexy, stimulating, and maybe even a little stupid. 

Duh.


You suck!

That’s cold.

Sucking chest wound.  Inhale.  

Popsicle for papa, before we burst his bubble.

Vacuums of space, and the living room, and the sealed food bags.

Vampires suck, too!  They vant to zuck your blood.

Zuckerberg!?  Haha

The airplane cabin was de-pressurized, and the outside sucked us into the void!

What else sucks? Your mom!  

Succulent plants and sucrose and sucrets and such.

Time, death, sucks all into it’s gaping maw.

Suckas n bitches n ho’s n chickenheads

I dunno.  I suck, too.

icp

 How many times must I ask myself, how many times?

Icp, odb.  Insane clown posse, old dirty bastard.

Wouldn’t even bump my pickle!

Milk and coffee, vitamins, oatmeal with raisins, gnc pp.  

    Protein powder, ow, power, teens 

Finished the almonds.  Nuts! 

Sushi and beer with Greg, birthday rain check

yo, check it!  Ali G. Is you’s an old man? You’s is well grey!

Liz birthday, 10th.  41.  Me? 49.  One year from 5-0.

Go Niners.  All the way, baby!  

Sara, Pierre, Augie, Hugo- powerful, strong, alive, healthy

Birthday Bart, ugh.   But why not?

What I want for my birthday is 7 N95 masks!!

Asked mom for ice cream, maybe even an ic cake

Ice cream pussy, lol.   Insane in the membrane. 

Oh wait, I got yearbook

    ….Dawg


Yo, check it!  I’s well Dweezil’d from the sounds emanating from my’s radio.


Bitches and snitches and witches and raunchy french wenches

and britches and ditches and wrenches

And finches and grinches, and flinching

And winches and lynching, a cinch

And inches of pinching 

And stench


Of a mensch


A rap about crap

Shit hit it

The fan, man

Breath death

Meth and opeth

With Seth

Covid while reading Ovid

Coronavirus while drinking a corona

china white with the “china-virus”

Xi Jinping thought, not

The thoughts of a bot

Computers doing their duty

For the greater glory of a hearty party

Communist domination

Chinese pleas for seizing V’s

Vampire empire, on fire

America’s fair air and loony tunes

USA’s you mess, hey

Jesse, you say?  Erica's America.  American pelicans.

Global nobles

Enriching the poor, more gore for whores, and doors of opportunity

For unity and community and enmity and hannity

Whatever’s clever

Forever never

Biden siding with hiding from chinese fleas

Biting and smiting


sorry, I know, more babble

but why not