Halloween Horror!

words of hellish despair, muahhahaha

pain, agony, suffering, torment, misery, anguish, starvation, malnutrition, exposure, neglect, anger, hatred, rage, wrath, fury, war, disease, famine, pestilence, plague, sin, evil, wickedness, separation, loneliness, crime, rotten, vile, depravity, corruption, uneasy, disconcerted, worry, anxiety, stress, panic, fear, terror, hopelessness, injustice, unfair, sad, wailing, weeping, gnashing of teeth, mourning, frustration, resentment, soul-sickness, anomie, angst, spite, malice, imprisonment, incarceration, slavery, confinement, killing, murder, assassination, rape, torture, homicide, manslaughter, guilt, culpability, regret, remorse, sorry, twisted, cruelty, brutality, violence, destruction, meanness, unkind, viciousness, ruthlessness, monster, demon, zombie, bloodthirsty, turpitude, violence, victimization, perpetrator, predator, stalker, hunter, beast, antichrist, devil, satan, mephistopheles, lucifer, beelzebub, jinn, slayer, negative, cynical, pessimist, aggravation, theft, psychopath, sociopath, apathy, neuropathy, unwanted telepathy, pathetic, sick, ill, diseased, unhealthy, unwell, mentally ill, insane, mad, psychotic, schizophrenic, cracked, impairment, broken, hardship, difficulty, maladjusted, problems, issues, confused, irrational, illogical, disordered, fragmented, scrambled, unbalanced, ineffectual, ineffective, difficulty,  antagonized, immoral, unethical, incorrect, wrong, lies, untruth, misunderstanding, lifeless, bored, hurt, intolerant, discriminatory, misleading, incomprehensible, omission, misdirection, bamboozlement, hoodwinked, sloth, weak, unmotivated, ignorance, stupidity, incurious, schadenfreude, fakery, inauthenticity, anhedonia, mind-control, hypnosis, vulnerable, insecure, unstable, unhappy, repression, oppression, condescension, dis-ease, unsafe, danger, inhospitality, inhospitable, rude, impolite, obnoxious, misogynist, misanthrope, unwelcome, tension, displeasure, unpleasant, base, horrific, atrocity, savagery, obscene, discomfort, uncomfortable, cold, hot, extreme, ugliness, foul, noxious, noisome, irritating, bothersome, uncertain, boring, lack, privation, poverty, insipid, prosaic, dull, retarded, foolish, ridiculous, absurd, pointless, futile, nonsense, babble, fatuous, flatulent, obese, disgusting, wretched,  poisonous, harmful, destructive, addictive, bad, hovel, sty, messy, unclean, impure, abject, squalid, merciless, automaton, unrighteous, inhumane, insincere, scum, trash, garbage, vermin, refuse, germy, subhuman, loathsome, detestable, abhorrent, execration, abomination, denial, rejection, unclear, mindless, worthless, menial, suicide, penalty, punishment, disbelief, nihilism, meaninglessness, fat, torpid, puerile, immature, heinous, faulty, broken, television, incapable, incompetent, inadequate, unequal to, inferior, loss, grief, inconsolable, dirty, infectious, scummy, bacteria, virus, shit, excrement, spit, snot, pus, vomit, phlegm, sputum, semen, filth, flatulence, expectorate, eructate, bedlam, anarchy, riot, cigarettes, addiction, crack, heroin, acid, meth, pot, cut, bruised, injury, contusion, laceration, symptomatic, bitter, acrimonious, acrid, combative, argumentative, drama, strident, harsh, annoying, dire, disability, crappy, extreme, uncoordinated, slow, unsound, unfit, confounded, undesired, unnecessary, unrequited, unlucky, chaotic, unstructured, unrest, disequilibrium, unsteady, unwise, uneducated, unintelligent, deplorable, icky, nasty, gross, revolting, revolt, untrustworthy, disloyal, unhelpful, unfriendly, discourteous, disobedient, dour, wasteful, spendthrift, scared, frightened, timid, cowardly, irreverent, unfaithful, diffident, uninspiring, underwhelming, impermanence, nullity, nonexistence, void, death, oblivion.

About Me

About Me, by Jesse Lawrence Teshara

A quick autobiographic profile

Jesse is an amateur philosopher, whose blog explains why we are all God, including himself, and why this is in fact a sane outlook. He enjoys writing, and won the Journalism award in high school (St. Ignatius, in San Francisco), although he majored in International Relations at UC Davis, where he studied Third World Development and minored in Spanish. He was raised Catholic.

His blog is http://jesseteshara.blogspot.com . It has been in existence since 2008, and has had almost 11,000 viewers, as of October 2014. The most popular post is 'Movies with the word 'God' in the title.' Please visit -All are welcome! It's called God's Blog, the Jesse Journal.

His hobbies also include daily exercise (he has a membership at the local YMCA), reading books and news (involving a daily trip to one of the local Berkeley libraries), listening to (all kinds of) music, and getting out into Nature.

At the Y, he swims, lifts, and does the stationary bike, which provides a view of the french countryside, as well as 19 cable tv stations. His rule of thumb is to sweat every day. He doesn't own a car, and bicycles around town every day.

He aspires to read a different book every single day, but has not yet mastered the art of speed-reading. He is working on a fiction booklist from '1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die.' But he also enjoys reading short stories, true crime, fantasy and horror, as well as geography, history, and encyclopedia content. He loves words and tries to expand his vocabulary daily, and aspires to learn new languages, too. He regrets being mortal, and not being able to actually read, watch, and listen to the entire library (!). He has a love of life, and is never bored. He tries to read the New York Times every day, and he also keeps informed by the Christian Science Monitor, CNN, Huffington Post, The Oakland Tribune, Berkeleyside, Yahoo, and -less frequently- People, the Economist, Foreign Affairs, and (of course) Mad magazine.

Musically, he particularly enjoys college radio (such as weekday morning jazz on whrb), hearts of space (saturday nights), as well as philosophy talk on Sunday mornings. He is also a big fan of Joe Frank. He frequently wins tickets from Cal's student radio station, kalx, and enjoys reggae shows, classical, bluegrass, rock, and just about everything else, including pop, hip-hop, and country.

He would like to get out into nature more often. In his childhood, he was a Boy Scout, and attained the rank of Eagle, like his brother and father. Many of his childhood summers were spent at Camp Royaneh in Cazadero, Ca, in redwood country, near the Russian River, where he was a counselor and worked at the pool, the canoe base, the ropes course, the rifle range, and scoutcraft. He has climbed a few (very tall) redwood trees.

If he won the lottery, he would travel, eat out more, and raise a family.

He walks friends' dogs twice a week, and is newly vegetarian. He has a diagnosis of schizophrenia, and hears a voice (in addition to his own) inside his head, which he considers telepathic communication with an attorney in Sacramento, and takes antipsychotic medication to keep stable (olanzapine and risperidone). He maintains hope that he will be sane one day, and that his 3 symptoms (headshocks, chest pain, and voice) will remit. He also plans to become exceptionally physically fit, with the idea that physical health can lead to mental health. He occasionally also does yoga and meditation, with yttp (yoga to the people) and the bsc (berkeley shambala center), respectively. He attends a weekly Kaiser support group in Oakland on Thursday mornings.

Jesse was born in Vancouver, Canada on 9/3/71(age 43), and was adopted at 4. He is single, male, heterosexual, virgo boar, who grew up in San Francisco, visited the U.S. East coast at 14, and also once took Greyhound to Key West, from Sacramento. He has been abroad only once, to China (Beijing, Xian, and Shanghai). He is a pro-life Democrat. He subscribes to a Consistent Life Ethic.

atheist?

soul-searching while room-searching:

I'm a 43 y.o. man, single, straight, have a steady income, love animals (and am trying not to eat them as much), I walk dogs twice a week (marcel in Oakland, fido & taco in San Leandro), but no pets of my own though, at the moment.  I grew up in SF, and have family in the bay area.   And friends.  We could all use more friends, right? I'll be a friend even if I don't get the room!  Anyway, I'm basically an atheist too.  My mom goes to mass every day, and her sister is a nun (aunty-christ!), so I'm not very militant about it, but I stopped going to church long ago, don't believe in angels or souls or immortality, but still like to occasionally meditate with the buddhists, or get in conversations with JW's or scientologists or mormons or whatever.  Religion can be trippy and kind of fun to muck around with.  I have a blog -I like to write.  I like the quote "reality is all the god there ever is" (by adi da), although I suspect the universe is both infinite and indifferent.  I'm just a puny human speck!  On the other hand, there is love, which is a relation and emotion, not a deity, but godly all the same.  But you don't need to believe in God to know love. The bible says "love believes all things," if you believe the bible, and buy that bull (!)

speaking of which, I think it's interesting that
bible =buy bull
islam= i slam
buddhist= boo'd hissed

I'm currently reading:
-The Age of Atheists, (how we have sought to live since the death of God) by Peter Watson (a new -really good!- library book)

I've also got
-Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett, and
-The Rough Guide to Economics (from first principles to the financial crisis) by A Mell and O Walker

Latest Reads

I just finished 4 books

(4 is the only number with the same number of letters: F-O-U-R)

-Naked Lunch, by William S. Burroughs
-Freakonomics, by Levitt and Dubner
-American Psychosis, by E. Fuller Torrey
-1339 Interesting Facts (to make your jaw drop), by Lloyd, Mitchinson, & Harkin

One of the facts is that
Brazil, Cashew, Coconuts, Peanuts, and Walnuts aren't actually nuts...Nuts!

Goals

Gooooooooool!!

Health, sanity, fitness, strength
Love, friends, family
Money, security, comfort
     (wrap-wealth, riches, affluence, prosperity)
Safety
Peace- world peace, inner peace (calm, tranquil)
      (absence of conflct, presence of harmony)
Joy, laughter, merriment, happiness, fun
Booklists (1001 books you must read before you die)(fiction)
      (bad- book-a-day, speedreading)
Knowledge (life-long learning)
Excitement, variety, travel
Creativity
Help others (service, volunteering, mad- make a difference)
Get out into Nature more often
Heaven (if it exists) (a-afterlife, or b-bliss, or c-cheer)

Being God

Why I think it's a Sane and Rational outlook/philosophy

1)Buddhism teaches Basic Goodness
(that all people are basically good)
The bible (Jesus, specifically) says Only God is good.

I put those two together, and I get Everyone is God.
sounds crazy, but I've gotten used to it.
I do believe some people are more God than others, however
There might be someone who is Most God (most good)
I am not claiming to be that person (egads, imagine the pressure!)
just as there might be someone who is Most Devil (most evil)
Thank God I am certainly not that person, either (so to speak)!

also
2)God is everywhere, I was taught
(though I recently learned the JW's don't believe this)
and Jesuits try and see God in all things
Our bodies are things
So these principles imply we are God, too.

I don't believe in souls.  I guess that makes me a materialist.
But I know physics has virtual particles, and things "popping into existence"
so I have an open mind.
Today, my voice said, "you know nothing."
I'm inclined to disagree, but maybe it's true.
Should I doubt my own existence?
question:
Am I just a computer program in a holographic universe or something?
(it's true, I haven't "known," in the biblical sense, for quite a while, now)

3)Is claiming to be God actually the devil's work?
I admit I am only human, and therefore imperfect.
But I think I am a good person, and that, I think, is enough to be Godly, if not God Himself.
I don't believe in the devil.  d-evil is 4-evil, and I think NO ONE is (really) for hell, suffering, or eternal torment (which would be indisputably evil).  They might invoke a punishing God to scare people straight, or to terrorize evildoers, as a form of justice, but like I said,
NOBODY would choose to experience eternal torment, him or herself.
(If hell existed, then sending someone there would deserve being sent there, yourself! no?)

 some expressions, or "spells," that could be evil:
"all right"
"it's all good"
"take care"

I simply don't think that evil, sin, depravity, wickedness, crime, injustice, cruelty, torture, suffering, and murder are "right" or "good" or that I shouldn't "care" about rectifying these things and making a better world.  But that's just me.  Then again, being against war only creates more war, according to the Secret, so maybe, in the words of Jesus, I "know not what I do."  

Reading to Relax

Therapeutic Reading

"Studies show that reading reduces stress  by 68%.  
More than
-listening to music
-going for a walk, or
-settling down with a cup of tea."

I copied this from a post on facebook.  Sorry, I don't have the source. 

drone strikes quote

by Rosa Brooks,
Georgetown University Law Center professor

"Right now we have the executive branch making a claim that it has the right to kill anyone, anywhere on earth, at any time - for secret reasons, based on secret evidence, in a secret process undertaken by unidentified officials.  That frightens me."

Yup, me too.

I got this quote from a recent John Oliver bit, that was on my facebook page.

Is the $68B/yr spent by U.S. intelligence agencies supposed to make me feel better about this?
Ugh.