Saturday, March 22, 2008

You Are What You Eat

If I'm God, and you want to be God or Godly or have God in you...

Then, as you are what you eat, it follows you would want to eat me. I do not really want cannibals showing up at my door, however, so let me cut out the middleman, and tell you what I eat. Of course, if everyone is God already, including plants and non-human animals, then eat whatever you want. God is pro-life, so eat healthy.

If you are what you eat, you could also say that you eat yourself. That's a little crazy, I admit. You could take a picture of your groceries, and then you, for a new take on the dietary "before and after" pictures.

I am not a vegetarian. I enjoy meat. Perhaps it would be healthier for me to not eat it (or as much), but I eat what my household buys. If I only ate vegetables, would that make me a vegetable? Just kidding. Am I dead meat? Someday I will be. And then I, in turn, will be eaten. The many flies I have killed over my lifetime will get their revenge, and their kind will eat (as maggots) my rotting corpse. That's a pretty common fate, and not such a bad one. Then I'll be able to fly, as I so often dream of doing. I'll become thousands of little angels, lol.

But if you must eat me as a kind of Eucharist, I recommend: something sweet (fruit or candy or honey), if you think I am. If you're gay, eat a fruit. If you think too much, eat a vegetable. If you need love, eat chocolate or peas (I do). I make a mean pizza. Don't make bread me, though. That's been taken, whiz. I actually like ranch dressing on my corndogs.

Just make it good. I don't want to taste like crap. Unless you're a fly.

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