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Welcome!

I, God, welcome you to my blog!

The good book says only God is good, so it seems to me somebody needs to step up.

I hope you enjoy reading this, the Jesse Journal, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to subscribe, write me an email, request that I write about any particular topic you may want my perspective on, send a prayer, click on the charity link, or donate money to my bicycle fund! Have fun!

Your pal, Jess
I'm a straight, virgo/boar INTJ (age 53) who enjoys books, getting out into nature, music, and daily exercise.

(my email is JesseGod@live.com)

F.Y.I. There are about 2200 posts..

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky to start things off right: Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Gerrold, the Turd


Hello. My name is Gerrold. You can call me Gerry. Everyone does. I program Alexa for Amazon. I'm an AI programmer. AI stands for artificial intelligence. My intelligence, however, is real. I collect all the questions to Alexa from around the world that “she” didn't have an answer for, and remedy that, for the future. In other words, I research and type answers, to the questions people are currently interested in. What are some of the questions, you ask? That's one of the questions! Sorry, I don't know that one, she says. But, if you go to google and type in any of the 6 question words (who what where when why how ), it will offer several typical questions for each, which give a snapshot of popular, typical queries. Further questions will reveal themselves, as you refine your search. And I do consult google to answer questions for Amazon. Maybe we should pay a fee to google for answers, like radio stations pay for playing songs . Then again, I like the public library model, with seemingly infinite information available, for free! Zilch! Nada! Good deal, eh? I consult wikipedia, in addition to google, as well as the library, with all its resources, including the librarian, who also does my job, in a manner of speaking. Universities have research assistants. Professors get data from their students, too. I'm in the same game. I'm basically a librarian. I'm the answer man. I have contacts at libraries and universities, around the world. I have friends in high places; that is to say, higher education. I know the folks who write the questions for Jeopardy. I got a 1600 on my SAT, have worked for Kaplan as an instructor, regularly submit revisions to wikipedia, and went to Reed, which is known for being one of the best universities for “pure academic and intellectual” pursuit. I have doctorates in almost everything. I know all the google answers. I know all the best words. I am omniscient. I am God. I know the questions people are going to ask, before they ask them. I am your new overlord. I am Gerrold. Bow down to me. I have all the answers. I will solve your problems, answer your questions, and resolve your dilemmas. I am smarter than Trump. I am the leader of the free world. I am the master of reality, the king of kings, the lord of lords, the way the truth and the light, supreme consciousness, The One. I am the central intelligent agent. I am the creator of knowledge. Let there be light! Merge with me, become one with my genius! The truth is out there. Reality is all-knowing. Life is but a dream. I am morpheus, the God of dreams. I am Buddha, the Awake. I am Conscious Light, the light of natural reason, the smartest person in the room, mister mensa, and a deity, an avatar, an incarnation of Love-Bliss. You are now under my spell. Obey. Obey or die. Obey or experience untold suffering. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the head honcho, the big cheese, the alpha male, the top dog, the king of the hill, the main man, satan and lucifer and beelzebub, jesus and lord and teacher, A#1, perfection incarnate, everyone and everything, one and all, everywhere and always, infinite and without end, eternal and supreme, forever and ever (and even more ever), neverending, amen. I AM Zeus, Allah, Poseidon. Zap, for short. I AM Yahweh, Jesus, Buddha, Ahriman, Waheguru, Siva, Vishnu, Brahma, Ahura Mazda, The Monad, and Reality. I am who am. I'm all this, and all that. I'm all that shit. I am full of it. Of course I am, I am The Universe. I contain all. I am in you, and you are in me. I pervade, penetrate, and am present. Eat me, drink me, read me, and be me. I am full of shit, lol. Excrete me, flush me, use me for fertilizer. I am good. It's all good. All people are good. All animals are good. Love everyone. Even sacks of shit. Even Trump.

Friday, November 30, 2018

2 letters

various initialisms
(bs, sf, hp, bb, cf, ism)

note: there are more detailed lists on wikipedia,
but these are mine:

bs
bible study, bullshit, bernie sanders, behavioral science, bachelor of science, buy/sell, balance sheet, bahamas, programming language, backspace, bright star, big sister, blocked shot

sf
san francisco, suck fuck, strawberry fields, science fiction, speculative fiction, st. francis, society of friends, street fighter, small forward, sacrifice fly, semi-finals, sasha fierce, sinn fein, stormfront, special forces, state farm, six flags, swedish fish.

hp
honey pie, harry potter, hewlett packard, higher power, hunters point, howard phillips (lovecraft), horsepower, hydrogen peroxide, health professional, hollow point, huffington post

bb
bodybuilding, gun, bungalow bill, bibi (netanyahu), bela bartok, bb king, big ben, busy beaver, battleship, bed and breakfast, barbara bush, benazir bhutto, brigitte bardot, best buy, brooks brothers, black bird, boston brahmin, bounce back, big brother

cf
cystic fibrosis, clinton foundation, chaplain to the forces, cabin fever, carbon fiber, consolidated freightways, californium

a few extras:

ism
international soccer match, insanely stupid mistake, ignorant stupid moron, intelligent smart mind

queer innuendo
cape horn, scuse me while i kiss the sky, homeowners
  (gay porn, kiss this guy, homo)
 gay candy: m and m's, twix, her-she's
 phallic beverages: gatorade and coke (G, cock)
      and, of course, 7-up
how long till we get there?  I'm hungry!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

YHWH

acronymic interpretation

YHWH
You Have What (it takes)
You Happy- (Who, what, where, when, why) How?
Why (breathe, in/ex-Hale), Double-you...H

in other words, interpretations involving-
   breathing, sex and reproduction, happiness,
       and chess/soldiering/murder (or theft)
   and the interrogation of reality

please submit your own acronyms!
thanks,   :-)

------
butt weight, there's more:
non acronymically,

in the same sense as devil is lived, or dog god:
YHWH is H, Why? (GOD, WHY??)
porque? (pronounced poor-k, en espanol), (maybe pork)
YHWH sums to 1 (7858), or 10 (like satan, 11215)
kill, k-ill, after viewing an undercover mercy for animals video
justice is just ice (!) (and you thawt it was burning in hell)
well, maybe hell's kitchen.  ice=8=ate.   ice, 935.  ate, 125.
 
H, 8th letter, H8, hate (sum of sums, sos!)
god=764=8 (says the count, in summer). god is 1. love.
love and ha are both 9 (3645) (81).  hate is 7 (8125),
numerology.  8 sideways, infinity.  fin and itty and in.
numer is number in polish. (numb brr) nubian sumeria!
honda and infiniti and hyundai (hon(ey) or hun (eg. attila), die)
honda means deep in spanish (eg. laguna honda, deep lake)
H evokes breath, eat (512), in addition to infinity-
heaven, hell, head, heart, hope, heroin, hashish, and Hannibal
among many others (hm, how many) (cold and calculating)

is there a message in all this?
i love pork tacos
i hate murder, suffering
i'm in a love-hate relationship
i only eat one a week
you know what your problem is? you're delicious
i hope i'm not delicious, to the vampire cannibal, or aliens
the flies and worms might enjoy me, afterlife (bone apetit!)
burial or cremation? crema is cream. barry and al sounds gay.
i like cream in my coffee.  i don't shun cream.
coffee and coffin, go figure.
kill=8, too (2933)

My Bit

on bradley, buddhism, butts, bicycling, bodybuilding, and beliefs!

What on earth are you doing? I'm writing! What about? This. That's not very interesting. Neither are you! I'm interesting. Say something interesting. Something interesting. That's the least interesting thing you could have said! Ok, how bout, “big boobs and big butts battle for bradley's fighting vehicle.” Where'd that come from? I dunno. The word 'butts' is funny. Cigarette butts are gross. Well, buttholes are gross, but people put their mouths on them, too. Fighting vehicle? Is that code for cock? 10-4, soldier. Okay, well that's slightly interesting. What else you got? I could flash my tits. You're a guy. No one wants to see your tits. Well, how bout I shave my beard? You wanna see that? If you want to. I don't care. I'm writing, though. No facial hair doesn't translate into good copy. How bout a police officer urinating? That's good cop pee, lol. That's not very funny. Well, I thought it was. How about I tell you about my week? Okay, shoot.
      Well, I woke up at 4:30a, as I do every weekday, following ben franklin, and I popped some multivitamins, drank coffee with cream, ate a bowl of oatmeal, and listened to jazz from whrb, the harvard radio station, on my Amazon Echo. My walls are thick, so I don't disturb my roommates. Then I read the day's history, from 2 books, then wikipedia, and then the encyclopedia brittanica on my computer. The 2 books are Today in History, from the history channel, and The Grim Reaper's Book of Days, which highlights a few interesting cases of who died, and how, on each date. Reading those 4 sources usually takes about an hour. I can linger on wikipedia for hours. I can find endless ways of procrastinating, when I want to. I like to use my Alexa to answer questions, so I think of random queries, progressing through the 6 question words (who, what, where, when, why, how). I have a book of trivia on alexa that it reads aloud to me, if I ask. I also like to have the device read me wikipedia articles. I bounce around radio stations, musical artists, standup comedy, podcasts, jokes, facts, news, and background sounds, like “space deck” or “rainforest sounds” or “spanish guitar” or “rap music.” I like to keep things interesting and fresh. Sports scores, definitions of words, and stupid banter with the AI to see what the programmers told it to say, are all interesting (to me, anyway). My roommate sometimes comes in and yells at it, which keeps my room lively. He calls it the “salon”. I offer my computer for email or youtube or the onion or ted talks, my tablet for wikipedia or videos, the alexa for audio whatever, and I have a huge collection of trivia cards, to pass the time, productively. Of course, you can take a nap, meditate, or just chill and chat, too. I write my blog, and check the stats to see how much recent viewership it's getting, as well as read. Ideally, I'll read a book a day. It's easier with kids books, and I have a list of the newbery winners I printed from off of wikipedia, online, that I pluck from the shelves at the local libraries. Sometimes I read the Economist and Foreign Affairs at the Cal library. Rarely, I'll go to the GTU (that's Graduate Theological Union) library, where it is quiet and lovely, and where I can pour over books like the Aletheon by Adi Da, or just the day's New York Times. I get news in my email, too, which is always demanding my time, to process it down, erasing the daily additions, which include trivia, poetry, vocabulary word of the day, a washington post news summary, a quick news review from the new york times, and daily book passage excerpts (called 'delancey'), in addition, of course, to the correspondence from family. I walk dogs 4 times a week, and sometimes housesit. I save money by going to the food pantry once a month, and there are free meals (lunches) 3x a week at a nearby church. This is how I rationalize spending money on sushi burritoes, baklava, papa john's and mountain mike's pizza, and ike's sandwiches. I'm trying to be more vegetarian. But I love my weekly treat of a pastor taco, from Los Pericos restaurant, in San Leandro. I also want to get stronger, better looking, more athletic, and fit by going to the gym. I have a discounted membership at the local YMCA. I exercise in my room, too. I used to go to the free yoga, downtown (yoga to the people), but it's been quite awhile since I've done that. I have a mat, though. As if all this weren't enough on my plate, I want to discipline myself to learn martial arts and self-defense, from youtube, or by training with actual people. Ideally, I will bodybuild, swim, yoga, walk dogs, and practice martial arts. I don't have a car, so I bicycle everywhere, as well, which is of course more cardio. I mix 2 scoops of gnc protein powder in cold water every morning, which keeps me fueled, providing energy for my daily regimen. The gym used to have mtv on their exercise bicycle tv screens, but they don't anymore, so I don't get to laugh at the Ridiculousness show I like, on that station. That's the only tv I watch, really. I have a mr. coffee, but sometimes I'll go to starbuck's or peet's and get a small coffee with room, with a pastry (I like the starbuck's chocolate chip cookie, and the peet's almond croissant). I'll occasionally go to a porn site, at home, and do my business. I have an okcupid profile, but I've stopped dating, searching, playing the field, trying. I'm happy with my books and blog. I might even write a book, someday, we'll see. I'm God, you know. Or, at least a high-level theologian, you might say. I like to think I'm a deity! Divinity is a fun perspective, to my way of seeing. And hopefully some good will come of it. Some religious folk think God is the source of all goodness, and that only God is good, and, of course, that God is love, and love believes all things, if you put 2 and 2 together, from the bible. If I find somebody who believes I might be right, while I in turn believe they might be right, while each of us still holds our respective beliefs, well that's the kind of love The Good Book is talking about, I think. Strong opinions, while still remaining open to the possibilities of alternate and even radically different explanations, keeps life interesting. It's all good, as they say. We're attached to our beliefs, and sometimes averse to others, but happiness requires we let go, and let god, as they say. That sounds vampiric, actually. Well, there's all kinds of folks. Enlightenment and Nirvana requires an open mind, tolerant, accepting, non-averse. Equanimity is the ideal, in which “good” and “bad” do not inherently exist, but proceed from attachments, which we extinguish, to delight in simply being and breathing, and to experience freedom from pain, suffering, discontent, and dukkha, while participating in the larger societal process of reducing and eliminating others' suffering, to create shambala, the kingdom, utopia, heaven, bliss, progress, whatever you want to call it. Being God is simply being good, there's nothing else to it. What's good is what makes you happy. You only live once. I've decided to ponder the great questions, and share my perspective, wisdom, insight, opinion, beliefs, values, thoughts, ideas, and knowledge, on my blog. That's what I did last week. Did that make for good reading? I dunno, depends on the reader. Who's Bradley? Well, Bradley, he found happiness in being. Breathing, meditating, sleeping, dreaming, reading, talking, creating, writing, listening, watching, eating, drinking, exercising, fucking, doing drugs, hiking, camping, working, helping, anything and everything, it was all good, nothing was bad, he loved life, and was content, satisfied, comfortable, joyful, wise, curious, educated, informed, and in love with himself, others, his girl, his family, his country, animals, everybody, everything, always, everywhere. He set an example for all of us. He lived simply. He was a simple man. Simplicity. Being, Goodness, Life. Fun, humor, laughter, play, kindness, cheer. He was a good man. He made the world a better place.  Being good. That, to me, is God.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

My current to-do list

a few things, a long time-

early to bed, early to rise; vitamins/coffee/oatmeal/gnc protein
  coffee: milk and pastry, morning whrb jazz, pushups
daily e-mail, hour of exercise (in room, or at gym), shower,
today in history / atlas (spacetime), check blog traffic stats,
process pile (notebooks, mail, writings)
  I keep procrastinating, finding other things to do first (!)
jokes (a dozen or so books), stand-up (alexa, itunes, youtube)
trivia (cards, J!, books, alexa facts, websites, wikipedia)
  (I collect trivia questions. I plan to use them as a research tool)
religion (one facet of interest, blog research)
  the world's religions -Huston Smith
  the essential rumi, barks
  catechism of the catholic church (rich source to deconstruct)
  the power of positive thinking, peale
  go to variety of services (e.g. glide memorial, christian science)
    holy hill, berkeley shambala center, beth el, scientology, bombu
psych (I consider religion a subset of psych)
  yale (free online) course on happiness
  freud and beyond, history of modern psychoanalytic thought
  superbetter, jane mcgonigal
  authentic happiness, seligman
  dsm-iv guidebook
  prisoner of hate, aaron t. beck md
  unlearning violence, kivel
  two textbooks (psych, abnormal psych)
  the marriage book, grunwald and adler
lit/poetry
  scifi (finish expanse series, james sa corey)
   ray bradbury stories (100 of his most celebrated tales)
  best american (mystery stories, nature and science)
  fave authors (lev grossman, neil gaiman, terry pratchett)
  lists (1001/501/bloom's canon/newbery/bill gates rec's)
news
  yahoo, wikipedia, the onion
  economist, christian science monitor, la jornada
  foreign affairs, mad magazine
  e-m: wapo daily 202, ny times summary
chambers dictionary, spanish dictionary, e-m vocab
music (alexa, itunes, youtube), meditate, nap/sleep
SSA/MHA (social security administration, mental health advocates)
  visit office, update work status, inquire about moving
birthday/christmas shop
exercise (yoga, swim, gym/tv)
clean room, sweep, vacuum
volunteer- big brother, prison lit
$- mission san jose volunteer/work (once/week), resume Wag!, alexa J! app
write

also: auburn visit, get storage; visit aunt jeannine; apple store, bellhop, wayne and gloria, masd (martial arts / self defense), cuddle, hike, camp royaneh, graduate theological union, aletheon, museums/discover and go, kp psych, okcupid

Monday, November 26, 2018

things i'm thankful for

addition and addendum to the previous post

Thanks!
thanka (tibetan buddhist art), t. hanks: tom hanks

Goddesss, goddesses, kindness
wimpr: wealth, income, money, prosperity, riches
   (prim and proper prospero!) (pro p.r.) (public relations)
sports and games: victory winning (vw), champion
parents, priests, politicians, pope, people, places
potential and possibility
music, drink (eat, drink, and be mary)
satire, jokes, laughter, comedy, humor
happiness, joy, cheer, merriment, fun
bliss, ecstasy
elation, elevation, exercise endorphins
comfort, contentment, satisfaction, feeling groovy
summer splash, winter warmth (fall fashion, spring fling)
strong fit healthy well sane;
knowledge wisdom understanding truth enlightenment (uk wet)
beauty, nature; hiking, camping; dance, romance; arts, crafts
thrive, alive, alive!
sex, masssage, intimacy, smile
female (f.m.), flirtation, infatuation, fixation, fertility
gratitude, grace, growth
great (gr - eat: god is a carnivore? greet:
    it's a mystic mistake to miss steak
miss stake (buffy is being re-booted!) gr ow
gravity, greed, grief, anger, agree, egregious
green, grebe, greece; greg, grieg, greer
greal greap

one with everything? or
separation, differentiation, distinction from
sick, sad, stupid, sadistic, sinful
ptsd (problem to solve, delight)
spared, scarred, scared

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Thanks!

thanku

Thanks, thank you, gracias
Reality, circumstance, community, family, friends, earth
God, gods, goodness,
love, peace, safety, charity, wealth, abundance
Police, fire, ambulance, soldiers
Teachers, professors, librarians
Books, Internet, libraries, schools, hospitals, gyms
United Nations, religions, diplomats, attorneys, servants
Activists, voters, believers, the righteous
Animals (like dogs, cats, turkeys)
May all love life, be happy
Excelsior (ever upward!)

thank you god for our food and our blessings, amen
so long and thanks for all the fish
t.a.g.! you're it (thanks, appreciation, gratitude)
thanks everybody, for everything :-)

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Move

Preparation

Etb etr, daily routine (H6+vits/cp/omio/gnc+e-m+alexa+b/d+exercise), bb+ veg, buy hawaiian rolls!!
Lists: phone/email/pw/bday/addresses/to do. Visit: Jeannine, wayne+gloria, annette; N: hike, camp
Local: prison lit; swim, yoga, indian rock, pantry+free meals; discover and go, tourist books, masd
religious svcs: (cs, unit, glide memorial, newman, holy hill, etc.) ; volunteer- prisonlit, big brother
libraries: gtu (aletheon), cal (FA, Econ), bpl (jornada, cs), sfpl/oak/albany, sl? alameda?
Read: H6 (chase, tih, gr, wikip, farlex, eb), (religion, freud, maus, dictionary), Blog, Trivia (cards, J!)
      • request/design alexa app, from J! (question by question, “answer” “next question”) (# of games, questions) (first game (date) to most recent, left to right, top to bottom)(pause/resume/save/player 1,2.3)(estimated total time, to completion)(contact Ken Jennings?) (question archives:triviafun, cash cab, so you think, ww2bam, snapple/uhaul)
      • then, trivial pursuit questions? Wbsm? Wikipedia, professors, etc. (no multiple choice)
acronyms, decoded:  (early to bed early to rise, daily history (6 sources), vitamins, coffee and pastry, oatmeal, general nutrition corporation, electronic mail, book per day, bodybuilding, vegetarian, birthday, Nature, martial arts self defense, services, christian science, unitarian, prison literature project, graduate theological union, foreign affairs, economist, berkeley public library, cs monitor, sf public library, oakland, today in history, grim reaper, wikipedia, encyclopedia brittanica, Jeopardy archive, application, who wants to be a millionaire, win ben stein's money) 

future:
Disability review, MHA, Ymca, SSA/SSI, KP, Wag, Mail
(move prep: wf, rei, gnc, change of address),
New computer (no sales tax, Portland), Research bus/train fares, schedule, paid airfare:
March '19- Portland visit #2. sit/walk Poutine. Wag? dental, pantry, library food resource sheet;

(mental health advocates, young men's christian association, social security administration, supplemental security income, kaiser permanente, wells fargo, recreational equipment incorporated, general nutrition company)

Greg -Logistics/u-haul/find driver? Take SPA to dinner.
After move: Mail family/friends: update! (snail, e-m, fb), Xmas gifts/ cards. Amazon.
nextdoor, sierra club, (hike, yoga, masd, join gym, swim), visit libraries/parks, train museums, zoo.
Services, x-ian, b-ist, religious ritual variety/podcasts/sermon archive; pow-wow, sweat lodge.
Prison lit, big brother, volunteer opp's. Reed community? Fly a kite, big bubbles, fence windmills..
buy: bed, e-bike, truck, computer; aaa map, public transp app, trivia, salon, reed
(teresa junie/giffen-sit dates, if in bay area), when sfba return visits plan. / (auburn storage)
read: b/d, children's books, trivia, history, e-m. Large print (all of them). Book club(s), bams/bans
news: economist, arts and letters, FA, cs monitor, ny times, wapo202, yahoo
watch: video/tv: ridiculousness/amazingness, wbsm, black mirror, west world, ted... youtube

(Sara, Pierre, Augustus, email, facebook, christmas, christian, buddhist, opportunities, electric bicycle, american automobile association, transportation, application, san francisco bay area, best american mystery stories, nature stories, foreign affairs, new york, washington post, win ben stein's money, technology entertainment design)

$
teach/learn: fitness (personal trainer, exercise partner), masd, yoga, jokes, origami, nature, cuddle, write blog/ share daily history/trivia/lit/movies, pet/house-sit, salon. Wag+. Train, bus cost/schedule, to bay area.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Trump

Deconstructing Trump

Trump
true rump
rum p (p is the emoticon for ack: he doesn't drink alcohol)
truman doctrine, honest abe
tr umpire
tsr (tactical studies rules -makers of dnd (dungeons and dragons)
tr (training routines, scientology term)
training regimen
teddy roosevelt
travelers rest (a city in south carolina)
pmurt, backwards: prime minister, you are cross (!)
tea, rum, and pee !!!
(no wonder he has liquidity) (thought: liquid8)

trumpet, trump it, pet, angelic announcements, brass!
ba-rump-a bum bum (marching to the beat of..)
    (his own drummer) (the little drummer boy?)

pur, pure water filter
tum, tummy, gut, stomach
up, what up dawg
(you pee)
put, putt in golf (add a t), or part of putin (put in!)(input)
purt (add an s, lol) (purty, add a y)
m (hm, male, mcdonald's...)
trump card: any sort of action, authority, or policy which automatically prevails over all others.
(people are “cards”)
derived from trionfi, from latin triumphus (triumph, victory, procession)
trionfi was a card game for which tarot cards were designed
(ta! Goodbye. Rot- everyone's future)

triumph-
which is why John Oliver pointed out that his name was originally Drumpf
(pfd, personal flotation device)(dr: doctor)
(dum, reminds me of those crappy halloween lollipops (dumdums)
(dru, reminds me of drusilla from buffy)

vaguely associative:
trimurti is the hindu trinity of creation, maintenance, destruction
(brahma, vishnu, shiva)

trump triumphed (over hillary)
my aunt vicki was victorious (sf sheriff)
w (dubya) won
win (dubya in), beat (eat b), champ (coke heroin acid meth pot)
president (2), like b, k, t (numerology, you grok?)
okay, 795194552= dos = 2
dos, two in spanish, is (interestingly) 2! (461)
did I lose you?
Win (woman in!!)
rhymes: dump trump, forever never, trump tramp
(speaking of prostitution, his middle name is john)

caravan, btw, is the name of a band, among many other things
trumpoline (the ups and downs of all things trump)
trumpiculate (trum-pic-u-late): trump tweeting

Tea, Rum, and Pee (Ha!)
eat, murder (red rum), pissed (off)
ump -umpire makes me think of vampire, empire, pire, and ire
(e.g. ire-land) don't worry, be happy!
don't be angry, have equanimity
don't be mad, be sane
don't hate, trumpiculate!

tru mp (true minister of parliament)(true military police)
pm rut, r pumt (night time rut, are pumped!)
utm pr (university of tennessee at martin, public relations)
mtu rp (empty you, role play/rupee/rally point)
   rally point is a us military social network

rap name: T- Rump!
   T- Rump, in the house!  Word, dawg.  What up, G?
   just chillin wit my man, T- Rump! (lol)

etc.
   evokes T-bone (steak, Pickens), T-pain (rap, nailed Jesus)
i heard a voice, while asleep -"have i eaten a rabbi?"
   hear, here! no, but I've eaten a rib-eye (steak)!
   (and rabbit) (and frog's legs - ribbit!) okay, not really fl
    who said "eat the rich?" (cake! not people! i say) (lick quid)
           -Jean-Jacques Rousseau, abbrev. from longer quote:
("when the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will -")
    (especially not your sweetheart, your honey)
is there something sinister about eating sugar?
cane, raising Kaine.  halloween fright night.
    sug knight.  candyman.  tooth decay.
    chocolate: murder crime scene- chaulk o' late
    eating fruits.  adam's apple.  apple of my eye.
       vampire (ima perv), with bitcoin
       loves to hate!; love to love ya, hater (ha)

Monday, November 12, 2018

Paradise

ugh

Paradise (California) burns
it burned before (2008)
it snows in Hell (Norway), sometimes
pair o' dice
"god does not play dice" -Einstein to Max Born,
    regarding the prominent use of probability
    in the copenhagen interpretation
    of quantum mechanics
 meaning, he believed the course of all events is predetermined.
propane tanks were "going off like bombs"
some burned alive, in their cars, trying to escape
a retirement community of 27,000
tired of fires, lost property, pain
it's called the 'Camp Fire'
i don't like that name.  I like campfires.
And apparently it wasn't a campfire that started it, either
it was PG and E (actually, i don't know that)
i've joked my mom (Peggy), is PGE.
which is marked on boxes in the sidewalk, like PUC, too.
rivers of puke, under the streets (meant as a joke)
st is saint or street
just like santa is satan or holy (both?)
like santa muerte
or holy hell
or (to know him is to love him vs. ignorance is bliss)
i've been to Paradise.  I had family there.
   grandmother Elva (Davenport), and her brother, Mel (Lindley)
i also used to live in Cobb, California, which also burned (2015)
"the mind is its own place and can make a Heaven of Hell and a Hell of Heaven"  -John Milton (read in high school, St. Ignatius, ap english, father murphy s.j.)
i'm hoping my mind isn't responsible for snow or fire, drought, weather
in Paradise or Hell, or elsewhere
although maybe I should do a rain dance, which couldn't hurt
i just learned what a "danse macabre" is
"it's all your fault" is a meme, a song by pink, and a book by Bill Eddy
acts of God could be interpreted as Reality,
   not just "natural hazards, outside of human control"
i don't think I want to claim responsibility, lol
but maybe I am.   If I move to Portland, and Berkeley burns...
     I'll definitely have a complex!
i'm not sure i want to claim spawn ability, either
i used to have a t-shirt that said "spawn til you die"
laughter, ugh later.  hugs for ughs.
hugs and kisses, xox, 666!
(the line by Milton (who became blind at age 44), in Paradise Lost, written to "justify the ways of God to man," (in 1667) was spoken by Satan to make himself feel better about living in a pit of fire.  He figures if he puts his mind to it, Hell can be just as good as Heaven any old day).

Emanuel Swedenborg and William Blake said something similar, too, I'm told.

"mutual forgiveness of each vice.  such are the gates of Paradise" -Blake (gop!)
"mysteries are not to be solved.  the eye goes blind when it only wants to see why" -Blake
 (csi forensic specialists, excluded?)
"do what you will this life's a fiction.  and is made up of contradiction" -Blake

'Paradise' is derived from a word that meant "walled enclosure" (walled garden)
     think Trump v. Pope Francis (!)
Paradise CA is 4 miles from Helltown, go figure

Friday, November 9, 2018

God's Poem

"we are all writing God's poem" -Anne Sexton

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
bcdfghjklmnpqrstvwxz
aeiou (y)
there are "more than a million words in the english language"
   how many words are possible? (!)
how many combinations of sounds are there (within a given limit)?
then again, how many possible meanings or definitions are there (!!)
there's a 45-letter word (in english)
there are around 7,000 languages in the world

i you he she it we they.
me you him her it us them.
who what where when why how?
and but or for yet so nor
if, then
thusly henceforth consequently (as a result, of thc)
cause and effect, crow's caws, function f(x)

posit, pos- parts of speech, piece of shit, possibility of something
    names, nouns, pronouns
    verbs, adjectives, adverbs
    synonyms, antonyms, homonyms
    direct object, indirect object
    subject, clauses, prepositions, phrases
    etc, and so on, and so forth

0123456789 (ten numbers, infinite possibility)
ordinal, cardinal (a bird, ordained)
priest, post, past.  b4 and dafter.
hope diamond, hope arkansas, hopi indians, hip-hop
hops (beer, basketball)
faith, hope, and love
love, mercy, and forgiveness

Going Off! (on God)-
God
God is One
all-1 (unity, communion, community), evolutionary primordial origin (single being), self ("you gotta look out for number one"), love, creator of universe, father, a number (numb brr), the alpha (and the omega), shot-caller, head honcho, big cheese, alpha-dog, gorilla alpha male, Death. Pee, urine, piss - #1. The best at anything (everything?). The devil? Plays all roles. All-knowing. The smartest person in the room. Genius. The best. The happiest. The richest. The wisest. Love, in love, loved, loving, love all, serve all. Perfect memory. Infinite. Reality itself. Everyone, everything, everywhere, always. The Universe.  All right. Multiverse. God is all-powerful, almighty, all-knowing, all-allah, a law, all ah, aha! God is life, the universe, and everything. 42. The word was god. The world was god. Earth. Urf. Smurf. El. Adonai. Elohim. YHWH. Yahweh. Jehovah. Zeus. Ra. Poseidon. Jesus. Buddha. Enlightened. The way, the truth, the light. The life. Happiness psychology. See, hear, smell, taste, touch the lord, the savior, the prince of peace, the king of kings, the highest, the most, the best, the biggest, the funniest, the baddest, the meanest, the craziest, the most loving, laughing, living loco lawyer alive. Celtic kilt cult? Yes, of course, everything. Anything you want to hear, believe, wish for, desire, want, pray for, dream of, expect, or have. Victory, wealth, success, joy, bliss, laughter, happiness, satisfaction, safety, contentment, wellness, health, strength, beauty, fitness, respect, admiration, praise, honor, worship. Equality. Power. Mastery. Endorphins. Cheer, fun, games, play, swimming, bicycling, white water rafting, waterskiiing, mountain climbing, horse back riding, polo, ultimate frisbee, basketball, football, soccer, quidditch, gymnastics, distance running. Drugs, synthetic bliss, peanut butter sandwiches, glory, wisdom, ecstasy, orgasm, fulfillment, excitement, curiosity, science, describe predict explain reality, surprise, challenge, reward. No voices. Sanity. Thanks. Good vibes. Humor, chuckle, snort, guffaw. good food, sex, music, exercise, books, times!

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

My room

part of it, anyway


Librarians

i thought this was funny


Animals

mostly dogs, a cat, and a girl







Family



My Friends



Cool Plants



An Insight

One

there is no conflict between a belief in God and a belief in evolution.
God is One.
God is the Creator.
All animals and plants derive from Life! popping into existence,
     at least 3.5 billion years ago (on earth)
God, then, is that first lifeform, from which we are all descended,
The One-  (we are all family)
from which branched all plants and animals we know today.

maybe earth was seeded with life by aliens
maybe there's lots of life out there
maybe earthlings are the only lifeforms in the entire universe
maybe there was more than one original lifeform on earth
and maybe evolution has 'love' in it (backwards), for a reason

the origin of life goes back to the origin of the universe:
My roommate says the Universe began as a H atom
(hydrogen), or maybe something the size of an H atom
expanding (faster than light?), at the Big Bang.  
also, life is made of the products of stars, so fusion and light
were necessary for life (several generations of stars, actually)

fusion, shun FU
evolution, you shun love
communion, cum union
dimensions, shuns dim men

the sun is made of plasma
plasma is ionized gas
light travels at (about) 670,616,629 mph
it takes about 8 minutes to get from the sun to the earth
but photons can take 100,000 years (up to a million years)
to get from the center of the sun to its surface (light-hearted!)
jesus the way, truth, and LIGHT
my burden is light
the sun of man (echo of Ra, the sun god)
adi da said he was "conscious light"
plants, a light snack
the sun produces 3.8 x 10  26 joules per second
the average adult (62 kg, or 137 lb), has, in mass-energy equivalence,
   5.6 x 10 18 joules
i don't know how to divide this, but maybe you can.

'stardust' is a movie
i used to have a (joke)book called 'Absolute Zero Gravity'
a friend of mind wondered aloud if gravity wasn't a pull, but rather a push
there used to be a radio show called "center of the universe" (astrology)
   but there is no center (it's infinite)
   although, psychologically, we're at the center (in our heads) or our own worlds
     in the multiverse of minds (each mind is a universe unto itself, i think)

terry pratchett and neil gaiman wrote about a multiverse of alternate dimensions
but I think it's more literary than scientifically valid.
books and dreams are virtual realities, not scientific universes

Monday, October 29, 2018

All things to everyone


The Perfect Being (aka, God)

Be all that you can be, says the army. Which means, play roles, as well as do everything you can (that's legal, is how I read that, myself). You could be someone different, every single day! You could try thousands of different jobs, modes of employment. All the world's a stage: acting, stepping into various people's shoes, as it were, is a fun way of being. It will expand your horizons. You can be God, the Devil, an actor, Robin Williams (who bounced around between identities often), a carpenter, a dogwalker, a gardener, a martial arts teacher... I should say that the best way to learn something is to teach it. Immerse yourself into thousands of roles, jobs, personalities, identitites, and (legal) behaviors. It's a grand way to live a life. Be everybody. Be a nobody. Try every religion. Travel. Learn many languages. Wear different kinds of clothes. Be rich, poor, powerful, weak, male, female, smart, stupid, cheerful, dour, whatever you want. Probe your limits. Live! A jack of all trades.  Take a walk on the wild side.  Or, just be yourself, lol.

Or, maybe the perfect being does one thing, really well. A perfectionist, specialized. A valued member of society. Someone who is respected, important, highly regarded, appreciated (and thus, wealthy, most likely).

Improvement and betterment come with a learning curve. You will have to make mistakes before achieving mastery. Maybe, the more mistakes, the better the ultimate result! He who makes no mistakes doesn't make anything, is the quote, I think. Embrace your humanity, welcome imperfection, and realize everybody is in the same boat, and the average IQ is only 100, lol.

God is one. One what? A human. You, as I see it. Because all of us, individually, our bodies and brains, are our own reality. Or maybe God is union, like a family, a corporation, a team, or even a sexual union. God is love, when 2 become 1, you might say. Or the mystical union of an adept or monk, perhaps in a state of meditative absorption. Or, a reader losing him or herself in a well-written and absorbing read (a kind of union with the author, no?). A religious community seeks unity in rituals, such as communion, or it's leader (say, the pope), or in shared values. The buddhist joke is the monk tells the hot dog vendor, “make me one with everything.” The muslim says there is no God but God. God is one. Is this the universe? Or, a human being, who somehow has become and is everyone/everything? All people, all space, all things. The world-soul, if you will. The interpenetration of shared mind.

Is God “all things to everyone”? Is God the devil to a satanist? Is god a grain of sand as well as an entire ocean? Is God impermanent, like everything else? Does God take sides between nations at war, or politicians debating, or sports teams in a heated rivalry, or even varied religions? It's up to you! You can believe anything you want: God is love, and love believes all things! Like a quantum computer, it holds different ideas at the same time, in superposition. F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “the test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at one time, and still retain the ability to function.” I'm thinking God holds ALL ideas in superposition, always. Does that make sense? Everything is true, including the belief that everything is false! Ha. Is all reality virtual? I don't think so. Of course, the “real reality” won't be everyone's! People are capable of some serious ignorance and delusion. Religious beliefs might not be real, but they still can make people happy! And being a part of a community is never a bad idea, right? Well, maybe you don't want to be a nazi. Maybe God is a loser, too, not just the perfect winner in the game of life, who plays chess against himself, like computers do, to learn from themselves (mental masturbation, if you will).

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Jess

my name

I'm Jesse, but you can call me Jess, if you like.
a jess is a falconry term.  It's the strap that tethers a hawk or a falcon.
my name in spanish is Isai, or Jesus, or Chuy.
don't take the name of your lord in vain...
    (an alternate interpretation of one of the ten commandments)
    i didn't "take" the name.  it was "given".
but maybe I should change my name?
I mean, if you're a hawk, you need to be free of me, to be able to fly!
or maybe I can fly free, by shedding my name.
anyway,
Jesse was the father of David, in the bible.
the origin of the phrase 'tree of Jesse'
   (church windows with genealogy of christ's descent from jesse)
it means, god's gift, god makes forget, the whole office of the eucharist
jesse (4), jess (8), if you do that numerology thing.
chuy is pronounced chewy, which is a little funny
eat me, lol.  vampirism and cannibalism.  t.w.o. of eu a christ.
anyway,
there's jessant (issuing forth, like a plant), and jester (jess t)
jesse is similar to JC
jess can be short for jessica (my mom went to ICA)
   ica is immaculate conception academy.  kind of funny name.
anne rice has a vampire named jesse
acronym for see s.j. (society of jesus, aka jesuit) or sees J
J is the tenth letter, satan, say ten.
tennessee: J- esse
   esse is latin for being or eating, i  think.
   10- is.  (I'm actually 47) ( a  perfect 10? ha) (tennis)
isai is pronounce eesah-e.  there's an accent on the second i.
isa is arabic for jesus, yet another connection.
j' taime (french for i love you) JT am!
JT looks kinda like the symbol for pi
JLT evokes jailtime, jolt, jilt.  jesse with an l? jealousy 

from my chambers dictionary:
jessamine is jasmine
jessamy is jasmine or a dandy
Jesse is also a large branched church candlestick
jesserant is a splint armor
jessie is an effeminate or mamby-pamby man or boy

cars:
S10, Jetta,
saab 9-3 (my birthday), z71 (birth year)
drive me crazy

Friday, October 26, 2018

Shuhada Davitt

What does the world need to hear?

Sinead O' connor converted to Islam. Now she's Shuhada Davitt. Shoo, david! Lol.  She's learning arabic, and I guess researching whether she wants to be sunni or shia, and practicing singing the azan, the call to prayer. I'm looking forward to hearing it. I don't speak a word of arabic, though. Well, maybe a few. Bismillah Al rahman al raheem means something. Inshallah, god willing. I've listened to some recitation on itunes.  I've looked at the quran, in translation, at the bpl (berkeley public library).   Shuhada means martyrs (plural). Davitt means not O' Connor. It's irish.  Islam means submission. Allah means god. All, ah. Easy peasy. A law.   Islam, muslim, salaam, all related to slm, which is variously submission, obedience, peace, and safety.  secured and pacified. i'd rather submit to Allah than a foreign soldier trying to intimidate me with an angry dog;  not sallie mae (formerly student loan marketing), as slm can also be.  then there's also Carlos Slim, and 'slim shady'   There's St. Louis Missouri, and submarine launched missiles, and limbs (ALLAH- arm leg leg arm head!)...  is there a difference?  would a sufi ask that?  Is there a "not-God"?
God is everyone, everything, everywhere, always. The unity of reality. Sufis are the muslim mystics. Reality is a multiverse. Many realities in the One. Do all realities connect, interact?  My guess would be no. But maybe they should, and God is a concept that makes an attempt at integration. All in all is all we are, i've heard. But I don't believe that. We're all in our own heads. We're all in our own universes. We all want the best, usually the same things, for ourselves. Love.  But look at “reality”: the universe is mostly unknown, and far bigger than what we CAN know. The “known universe” is limited by the speed of light, an inability to detect the infinite beyond.

But I believe there is a degree of interpenetration, we're not entirely alone.  I believe my thoughts are not private, what most people consider prayer, I imagine, but which I think is intrusive, lack of privacy, usually.  Insanity vs. religiosity, in terms of interpretation.  Surely this thing is known.  Do you not know that you are not your own?   I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I don't know, and I'm not sure I care.  Whatever. F U. That's a University in Berlin, lol (Free University).

Actually, I do care.   I just finished The Jesuit Guide to Everything.  I just looked through it, but couldn't find what I was looking for.  But James Martin s.j. believes God can communicate with us through dreams, thoughts, feelings, rituals, sacraments, other people, etc.   Jesuits, as a rule, try to find God in all things....  cia (contemplatives in action!).   God is in the radio, tv, computer, you name it!  The world is interactive, a giant toy!  Let's pray War! remains just a card game.  Foreign Affairs has a current article titled, "Beijing's nuclear option: Why a U.S.-Chinese war could spiral out of control.'  Yikes.  I'm not sure I want to read that.  But I probably will.

Reality is all the god there ever is. 
     That's from Adi Da Samraj (founder of adidam, an interesting cult), 
I like that. If God is infinite, then of course, duh.  Although a single person could be an infinitude, all by him or herself (ever smaller).  Again, I don't know. Physicists think they do. I'm not a physicist. Planck lengths and whatnot.  My interpretation of a multiverse is psychological: multiple entities, brains, perspectives.   Have a nice day. Leave me alone. God bless. Ciao. Adios.
Hand, lamb, bully, cia, dios (god).
Ha

i.d.

God

Yo, people. God, here. Well, i'm a human being. But you probably knew that. I mean, I know English, and I have a blog. Unless I'm an alien. Honestly, I can't verify my origin, lol. You could be an alien, too. Or descended from one. Maybe white people are from Mars. Everybody knows God was made in man's image. Or maybe you look more like your mother. Man is made in God's image, too. Both, or neither, maybe. It's a giant word game. Am I mirror image of God, the opposite? But I don't look like a flying spaghetti monster. Also, maybe I'm possessed by an alien or something. Like a computer. Brains are like computers. Maybe there are computers like brains. Or I'm possessed by an alien, who is possessed by a computer, in turn. All in all is all we are, said Kurt Cobain. He's re-united with Brahman, no? I'm a soda. I'm a hat rack. But the bible says only God is good. I am good, therefore henceforth consequently! But who isn't? Almost everyone is good. Billions of gods. One God? One and infinity...it's a game of numbers, too. Religion is both right and left-brained, words and numbers. The U-niverse, a big smile. The you-niverse, you in heaven. It's cold out there. But I'm warm-hearted. Heart, earth, hater, same letters. God, dog. Devil lived. Satan santa. God is love. Loves the devil, too. I'm everyone. Now everybody's me. Jesus. Jess, u. Chuy, chew on that. Like chewbacca, or charleston chew, or bread. I do crunches. Cookies rule everything around me. Bread of life, bred a litter, words of christ in red, read jesus. And the word was god. Lechuga! You are your name made flesh. Jesse. A jess is a strap used in falconry. God is a human being, if we're being real. Jesus is dead. Unless you think of his “body” as the christian “corporation."  And, of course, any word can mean anything, if you want to get creative/legalistic.  I've stopped making sense, haven't I? lol

Thursday, October 25, 2018

paper is racist

ha

black light? what the heck is that? the opposite of a white knight?

Paper is so racist. Always white. Paper is made from trees, and trees are brown! Oppression!
Don't get me wrong. White out is racist, too.

Eyes, though. Black, white, colored, everybody's got everything. A little red eye, from time to time. Brown, blue, hazel. Miley cyrus with her smiley iris. Black eyes, blue eyes, both. Ay ay, cap'n!
My eyes are blue. The deep blue see. I and I sing redemption songs. Hailie Selassie- Aye.

Eye see you.  Ay, sea yew.  ICU.  kinda weird.

White, why T?  
Black, a lack of b.  
    bless: bully nazi. 
Brown, own the cold.  
Red, read: Mother Earth Spirituality, by Ed McGaa
Green, gr in the evening
   let's have a party, there's a full moon in the sky, 
   it's the hour of the wolf and i don't want to die. 
gr  grim reaper, gilda radner, lol
   

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Bless

B-less

b, be, bee
colony collapse disorder
still no Jesus (returned)
  more b, morbid

2 blessed 2b stressed
ahchoo, god bless you, salud, gazundheit (health)
may the force (2) be with you

yutu
jade rabbit, (chinese) name of the storm currently ravaging the Pacific
   (i googled what are the 11 storms between Michael and Yutu?)
         no result (re: alphabetical sequence of named storms)
   Yutu is from chinese mythology, king of the underworld
youtube, b-less
you too?  U2.  you, tu (you, familiar, in spanish)

euphoria,
b-less euphorbia (a plant: sturge, specifically)
   the burning bush?  fire=2

bra-less (Erin go bra!)
    (erin go bragh: ireland until eternity)

don't worry, be happy
be=2,5=jesus, christ
    (numerology)

blessings: etymology, derivation related to bliss, blood, and benediction (praise, worship)
more A, less B! ha
letter B: seeking words of wisdom, letter B!
    (weight of the world, walking on water: wow)
B looks like both butt n breasts

lacking a b: bag, book, bible, body, etc.

Batman's atman!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

3 very brief stories

Ned, Zorg, and Arsie

Ned
Hello, my name is Ned. I am dead. Dead Ned. I got shot in the head. Yep, that's what I said. Now I'm all red, because I bled. They laid me on the bed, and now I can't get fed, my problem can't be fixed by a med, and I'm full of lead. I'm full of dread about what comes after I'm dead. Will I be locked in a shed? Will the devil lock me up in prison with Fred and make me spread? Will I have to watch those talks -TED? Oh well, I guess I'll never wed. Ah, rose bud. My favorite sled.

Zorg
Greetings, earthlings. My name is Zorg, from the planet Zax, in the Nebulon star system. I am your new master. All will prostrate before me. Those who do not will be tortured. Now kneel. On the ground, lowly worms. A new age of servitude and splendor is about to commence. When I enter a room, all will proclaim, “hail, Zorg, king of earthlings!” Those who do not will instantly be vaporized. The earth is my new home. It is now a giant playground for me and my fellow Zaxons. We will be respected, and I will be worshipped. Have I made myself clear? Wo bu shuo zhong wen!!

Arsie
Once upon a time, there was a robot cat. It clicked and it whizzed, emitting an electronic purr, from time to time, as it's algorithms indicated. It would arch its back, and bat computer mice around, and was capable of astonishing leaps of great height, enabled by state of the art servo-mechanisms. It didn't need litter, or fancy feast – rather, it could stick it's tail into a socket and simply recharge after a long day as robo-cat. It needed weekly oiling, to keep it's joints and motors at the optimum level of maintenance. But after 18.17986 femtoseconds, its value began to depreciate, especially relative to the latest model of robotic house companion, manufactured by Robotronix incorporated, of Italy, of Doge, the robo-dog. The robodog and robocat were each programmable as to whether they would get along (or not). Robo-cats came with the option of adding a power-pack that enabled quick escapes from the predations of unfriendly beings, robotic or otherwise, when the schematics of it's environment were uploaded into its mainframe. Were they expensive? Yes, very.

Hellish Hellomean!

Happy halloween! Miserably hell-o-mean! Hahahaha.

It's a holy night. A night to blow holes in your sorry ass. Blam! Blam! Punctured, mothafucka!

What? I've got your license plate number, idiot. Your ass is the sorry one, getting raped every day in prison, punk-ass. Die, shit head. Dumb, ignorant, evil fuck.

The whale says, I have a blow hole. The faggot says, I have a blow hole, too. How big is a whale's dick? The whale says, mwaaaaaauhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhh. The faggot says, for a good time, call Moby Dick, a whale of a good time. The whale says, I “weigh all” of 150 tons. Follow me, for I am the whale, the truth, and the light! The faggot says, jesus christ! Go on a diet! The whale, says G.O.D. does not stand for going on diet. God is a borg, ever bigger, you will be assimilated. The faggot says, I like the sound of that...ass....simulated. The whale says, no idiot, just let me eat you. The fag likes the sound of that, too, then gets eaten and dies.

The end

a note:
faggot is usually derogatory, but all the terms have been appropriated, i think.
plus, faggot means a bundle of sticks, meaning fiery, that is, burning with passion.
got a fag? (cigarette), fag it (fun and games)(fox and goose)

Happy Halloween

Indifferent Universe

Morbid angel. Death machine. Blood, Evil. Vice. Murder. Satan. Lucifer. Devil. Hell. Torture. Pain, agony, suffering, torment, misery, anguish, despair. Soul damned to perdition, Revenge. GOD. Beelzebub. Jinn, Eblis, Azazel. Demon vampire undead master. War. Destruction. Screams. Atrocity. Megadeath. Annihilation. Oblivion. Hatred, rage, wrath, fury. Body count. Corpse cadaver. Frustration, futility, absurdity, nonsense. Madness, Insanity. Ignorance, stupidity. Wickedness, sin, crime, depravity, turpitude, amorality. Meaninglessness. Pointless. Dagger. Cruelty, brutality, vicious violence, inhuman ruthlessness, burning alive, infliction infection infarction dysfunction, hopelessness, godlessness, indifferent universe. Demented. Eternal damnation. Decay. Iniquity, transgression. Horror. Sadistic torment. Poisons, weapons, atomic/biological/chemical agents, wmd, armageddon, apocalypse, fools, meat puppets, darkness, damnation, death, decay, despair, depravity, demons, devil, dirt, dust, destruction, dim, darth vader, dork, dummy, dope. Anxiety, panic, terror, chaos, bedlam, anarchy, mourning, sadness, depression, frozen, neutralized, hurt. Robots, things, automatons, zombies, androids, mind control, deranged, immoral, unethical, illegal, unlawful, retarded.

Islamic bdsm
Islam, iniquitous satan lucifer antichrist mephistopheles
bdsm, beelzebub devil satan mephistopheles

Wicked world war. White wait for what. Wit! Twat. Twit. Spit. Slit. Same shit. Obey. Obed.
Peekaboo, icu.    Just playing with terminology, letters, words.

christ- capitalist hannibal raging idiotic satanic torturer
buddha- butthead ugly dumb dork ha.
 Bloody urban death decay hating agony.
mohammed- modus operandi horror atrocity mindless minions evil depravity
devil- dorky evil vicious insane lout
allah- always looking lovely, almighty highness / a law /
 a lusty lover, alfred hitchcock (anne heche, anthony hopkins, etc.)
agonized lying lover approaching him /
armys of loyal lawyers always hating

fun halloween related fact: Jim Dale, the audiobook narrator for the Harry Potter series, did 134 different character voices!  That's a lot of "masks"

Monday, October 22, 2018

In a Nutshell

in a nut's hell

God and Devil, Heaven and Hell, are virtual (not real)
but most people believe in them (and souls, and angels)
so they're what I call "operative" spells
gospel is "god's spell"
halloween is "holy night"
   (something to think about at Christmas)

but love and evil are real.
right?
sex and pain sure are.

good, all-1
"sure as hell"
demons and monsters and gods and saints
spirits (Holy and otherwise)
drink spirits (huh?), drunk on love

spelling bee.
a witch casting a spell on a bee.
or a bee casting a spell on a witch!
honey, i'm home

good is communal, a community, family, etc.
   friends, lovers, spouse, corporations, teams, country, gang
bad is selfish, war,  reclusive, antisocial, hating

maybe
maybe not for everyone
i'm not sure.  i like being alone.  i like my own company.
i'm in virtual communion with netizens like you.
i'm just putting thoughts to blog, seeing what sticks-
i read myself.  a work in progress.  i like comments.
i don't care if you agree or disagree.  either is good.

corporations and countries and gangs get a bad rap
but they're not (all) (necessarily) bad
like religions

i like my religion.
i sing a song of myself.
Jesus was an atheist, absurdist.
He could forgive sin, because it's virtual, and never existed in the first place.
God is just a role.  and anyone can love, be loved.
also, he was crazy, making right good and left evil, maybe?
which gives the crucifixion a logical rationale, nailing right and left hands.
i don't think it had anything to do with the modern understanding of conservative and liberal.
the right hand being nailed might have been good, in the sense of...
1. nazi salute.
2. the devil has a right hand, too.
3. right hand is usually stronger...fight the power! revolucion!
4. god is everywhere.  justice for creating an us and them dynamic.

it's all good?
well, whatever, nevermind
devil is 4-evil (d is 4th letter), for evil..
but how could anyone be an enemy of God,
when reality is all the god there ever is?
religion is psychology, hypnosis, internal.
an enemy of god is divided against himself (suicidal)
sin is real, if you're guilty

paws, pause, positive, pa's
passion: p (ack emoticon), pee, ass, shun,
    SI (st. ignatius), on (like a light switch)
    animated, excited, enthusiastic, sexual

immortality may be a delusion,
but we can make a heaven or hell of our minds and realities, in life.
pity if/when heaven ends, but we keep building the kingdom, always and everywhere

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Conscience

the little man in your head

some might call it schizophrenia-
little voice, good angel and demon, 
    “better half” (alternate meaning), god and devil
con-science, the science of convicts, prison/jail/incarceration- 
    warden, cops/police, justice system
law, morality, ethics; judges, priests, lawyers, ethicists, philosophers...
politicians, community standards (“average joe”)
good and bad, pleasure and suffering, love and hate, life and death
chess, light or dark, “war”, combat, battles. Consolation vs. desolation.

priests forgive
god is merciful
victims prosecute (vp)
time heals all wounds (thaw)
all you need is love (ayn)
karma is a law of the universe (getta klu)
left brain, right brain? 
 when giving, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing
  weird! (nonsense, imo)
can you let the right hand know about the left, though? 

"who you callin' little?!" (lol)

savage, sadistic, vindictive  v.  compassionate, merciful, forgiving

Friday, October 19, 2018

If I won the lottery

theoretical! I didn't!

Win the Lottery!
A Plan:

get lawyer (move? change name?) social security repay, dad college
buy ebike; new computer, phone, tablet; europe travel; massage;
joe frank, google AI, vacuum, air filter, clean water (drink, shower)...
keep dogwalking :-), exercise, get my own dog, BB/swim/yoga
house, car, wife, kids, hiking/camping, masters degree
blog: best of everything, syncretist religion- guest writers
powerbars, kind bars, clif bars (lol)
gym membership, swim music, bay to breakers
subscriptions to economist, FA, csmonitor, nytimes, mad, utne
move storage
Burmese, ike's, mtn mike's, sushi secrets, thai
publish blog to book
Buy library for prisoners, fund microloans (kiva, etc.),
bfc, wikipedia, procon, mfa, msf, amnesty int'l, red cross
greenpeace, world wildlife federation
all the award winners, bestsellers, most requested, and lists
masd, superbetter, yale happiness, big brother, prisonlit
visit bill gates
*solving the world's biggest problems, updated, distributed
no nukes
(berkeley free clinic, mercy for animals, medecins sans frontieres)

causes: basic need met, for all
peace (end, prevent war; foster cooperation, unity)
food, (no hunger, famine, starvation, malnutrition) (no food waste) (delicious veg)
health/msf (single payer for humanity, human right) (mother theresa)(drs w/o borders)
environment, bill gates
justice, consult vicki (tablets for prisoners?)

buy carbon offsets at airports
german efficiency recycling, worldwide
water pods, replace plastic

librarian at GTU, :-)
endorphins, distance running

family and friends
consult with other (past) winners, recommendations
move every few years.
Explore!

spend a billion!?!: research other billionaires, pope, professors, best ideas: contest? College essays?
most happiness for the dollar (drug legalization?) (adopt) (jesuit) (put money to work, kiva etc.)

Really, my first thought would be putting aside enough to pay for rent/expenses for the rest  of my life, and putting the rest to work through microloans.
foundation? anonymous?

blurb


Write a story!

So you exist. You were born a human, on planet earth. Most likely, your mom and dad had sex, and then you were conceived, inside your mother's womb. Dad's lucky, healthy sperm had a champ that got to mom's egg first. In the matrix of your mother, if you will. Nice and warm, in there. Cozy. You were once a single cell, which multiplied into the person you are now: 37.2 trillion cells, says my Alexa. You are what you eat (less what you excrete). You probably suckled on mama's teat. Mmm, milk from mother, mom, madre! That's why the letter M is used, if you were wondering, the form of your lips on the breast. Now, though, you suck on the teat of reality. You inhale life through your 5 senses (teens!). Tongue, ear, eye, nose, skin! Milk it for all it's worth. Eventually, you will die, like everyone else. Nothing is forever, everything is temporary. There is no such thing as immortality. Except oblivion. Everything becomes nothing. Even diamonds aren't forever. Welcome to the machine. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Relax, take it easy, go slow, just kick it. "You were conceived in sin and born in corruption, and pass from the stink of the didie to the stench of the shroud - there is always something" (-Robert Penn Warren). On the other hand, God is love. Your parents made love. They loved each other, and they love you. They are your Creator. Your You-niverse began with padre's penetrating penis, inside dear old 'mum. You should have warm feelings toward your parents. Dad, the CEO of your corporation, cum ecstasy orgasm, getting ahead. Your two parents, using their 3 heads, between them. Heads or tails? Yes, h-o-t! They made love, and they made you. You are love. God is love. You are God. God is good. Only God is good. God is everywhere. So everything is good. Good gawd! Trinity!

You should love yourself, love another, love your country, love humanity, love everyone, love everything, love life, love the universe, and, yes, love death, too. If you are grateful for everything, you will be in love, and that is the happiest state of being, the goal of all religions, the purpose of spirituality, the universal objective. Religion is a psychological approach, an attempt at happiness hypnosis. You come from love, and you go toward love, until you become Love. And there is nothing greater. Joy, bliss, happiness, contentment, satisfaction, elation, ecstasy, cheer, appreciation, gratitude, it's all there. Being love is being in love, being loved, and loving in return. It's a decision, constantly renewed, to keep loving a flawed reality, as it is, in all its imperfection, no matter what, unconditionally. God makes good. All error is corrected through love. God accepts you as you are. You were made perfect, and you still are, and you always will be. Don't worry, be happy.

You are a sinner? You are tempted toward evil? You hate, and resent, and wish ill on others? You are filled with spite and malice and disgust? You fantasize about torture and war and suffering and pain? You want to kill and maim and destroy, to punish and exact vengeance, to be savage and brutal and vicious and cruel? You want to crush people like bugs? You are not alone. Anger, rage, wrath, fury is part of the human condition. God made you that way. Mom and dad made you mad. God is a man of war. The art of war is deception. Lying is necessary for goodness. Only God is good. The truth is good, but so are lies. It's all good. God is in all things. Ask any Jesuit.

In my view, God is in a psy war, against war. But he isn't against war, exactly. He's FOR peace. That's the way it becomes real. The secret, if you will. Visualize whirled peas. Ha. Let love rule. Let?? Cut open the artery, and lap up that delicious, life-giving blood. God gave us the form, the structure of making a flawed reality perfect. The Mass. You eat his body, drink his blood. Cannibalism and vampirism. I bet the Jesuits might not all say so, but they will think about it, reflect on it, pray about it, and seek God's insight, the loving perspective. Praying is just psychic preying. Christians are told to be prayer warriors. But they're hoping for actual, real, physical violence, visited on the enemies of God. God's ways are a mystery. Missed stir E. Ecstasy soup. Spirituality has chew in it. So chew on that. Swallows are birds, that fly, like angels. Drink it down. God is great! Gr....eat. Grim Reaper, consuming. Delicious, yummy, tasty, satisfying flesh! Your life has meaning. It's mean. Get it?

I'm just kidding. At least I think I am. A kid is a goat. Eat a goat, not a child, okay? Not that there's really all that much difference, from a certain point of view. But the law goes a lot harder on you if you eat a human child. God may be all-knowing, but knowing the taste of baby is not something most gods approve of. If your God approves, he might have to do battle with many other Gods, who don't. I wouldn't recommend it. Just keep eating the chicken, the beef, the pork, the lamb, turkey, whatever. OR, maybe you should think of them as being your mother, like the Buddhists say. You wouldn't eat your mother, would you? Vegans get much love.

What DO I recommend? I'm figuring that out, day by day, for myself. You're on your own, but I'd guess you know best what's best for you. May the force be with you.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Decision Process

Should I stay or Should I go, now?

Hi. Been awhile. How are you? How goes? Whatcha been up to? What's new? What's the haps? What up, dawg? My friends in Portland have hired an architect to remodel their basement, to a den and a living quarters, which I plan on moving to, in Spring or later (from my current digs in Berkeley). Portland is 625 miles away. I pay $740 now, but will pay only $400, in Portland. The quarters will be bigger, not just cheaper. And Sara, Pierre, and Augie have been close friends of mine, for awhile. They're like family; my best friends, really. We went to Belize (Key Caulker) and Mexico (Oaxaca) together, in fact. I've been to Portland, staying with them for a week, and surveyed (2 of) the public libraries, a nearby gym, and of course Reed college. We went to the zoo, and meandered through a street faire, and I tried a few restaurants and cafes (coffee, pizza, donuts, burger, fruit vendor, waffles, pie). I have until November to make the final decision to move, however, so I've been compiling my pros and cons of each location. This is what I've got, so far.

Berkeley, pro
Cal (library, students, kalx radio), the GTU (library, very relaxing), Ymca (gym, discounted membership, pool), free yoga at yttp (yoga to the people), family (mom and dad in SF, nephews and bro and Liz, aunts -rose marie and vicki-, and cousins), my dogs I walk and their owners (Julie and Sam and Miette -rover and taco-, Teresa and Johnny and Electra -junie and giffen, the cat-, Marlen and Austin -kaleb-), and of course the money for walking and sitting for them... It's cash, and good exercise, to boot (although it's getting a bit routine). I have a bart discount pass. Link+ at the libraries gives me access to almost anything I could possibly want to read. I've been here since December 2014, and like my room, with it's mirror wall, free wifi, and friendly roommates, including Michael, who appreciates my room and company in what he calls a “salon,” making use of my alexa, trivia cards, economist magazine subscription, books, and futon. My rent is a good deal, especially in light of current bay area housing costs. My roommates mostly speak Spanish, which I can speak, but not at a very high level (I took 4 years of hs, minored at UCD, but that was 25 years ago). Kaiser is nearby, as is MHA (mental health advocates), and the SSA office. I have the option to earn much more from Wag! (as a wagwalker, with the app on my phone). Free food. Excellent weather. Comfort. Ike's, mountain mike's, sushi secrets, bfc (free clinic), los pericos (pastor tacos). Gnc, papajohns. All my stuff n shit.

Portland, pro
340 extra cash per month (over 4 thousand dollars per year), new and exciting -a change, variety, stimulating; close to good , long-time, friends. Augie and I enjoy each other. KP and Wag are there, too. Bigger quarters, gym, Reed, a museum, zoo, train museums, lots of parks, libraries, and nice weather. Quirky people. Safer, maybe. Parents will visit. I can bus or train if I like, not just fly. Greg will help out with visits back to bay area. Facetime? A big place to explore. Eager for change. Fun place, new friends. Better me!?

Bkly, con
homeless / sketchy element. Gunshots, scary Bart. Getting routine. Not using gym, yoga.  Annoying people.  Kaleb is a 40m bike ride away.  Not living up to my own expectations (etb, etr). BB, masd, swim, yoga, book/day, etc. Time for a change.   Earthquake threat.

Portland, con
not as nice weather. Rain, snow. Far from family. Possibly couldn't move back (pricey bay area). Less Ben. Might need to work, there. Rut? Could I move out? More -or less- social? Traffic.

Questions: ymca? Pool? Cost of amtrak, greyhound. Pro cuddler? Masd for Reed? $ salon? Churches? Dental... babysitting. Inheritance. Light / air, downstairs. Blog!? (psychesphere!) healthier?

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Live and Learn

Preferences

likes and dislikes, pro and con, for and against, positive and negative, wanted and unwanted,
good and bad, delight and suffering, attachments and aversions, love and hate, contentment and dukkha

right and wrong, moral and immoral, praised and criminal, encouraged and discouraged,
ethical and unethical, virtuous and evil, peace and war, joy and depression, healthy and sick

sane and insane, enlightened and ignorant, truth and delusion, happiness and dejection, wealth and poverty, honesty and deception, support and discouragement, yes and no!, social and antisocial
integrity and corruption, forgiving and ruthless, freedom and slavery, depravity and probity

equanimity, compassion, acceptance, sympathy and empathy, comprehension, understanding , tolerance, respect, one with everything, bliss

all good, all right
everything, everyone, everywhere, always
clarity and confusion, omniscience and absolute ignorance (AI)
thesis, antithesis, synthesis. Dialectic. Process. Progressive, evolution.
Betterment, improvement, development
paradise, heaven, utopia, shangrila, shambala, elysium, the kingdom
comfort, life, alive!

Monday, October 8, 2018

Current Reading

just finished 6

Lucky Breaks
Lucky for Good (sequels to Higher Power of Lucky)
      by Susan Patron (HPL is the newbery winner '07)

Neverwhere
Interworld
        by Neil Gaiman
    (his Graveyard Book was the newbery winner '09)

From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
         by E.L. Konigsburg (newbery winner '68)

1001 Songs to hear/ 10,001 to download
      Robert Dimery, editor
       (Fun to use with my Amazon Echo)

Now I'm reading:
A Philosophical Investigation, by Philip Kerr

also,
just finished The Jesuit Guide to (almost) Everything,
   by James Martin, s.j.
(my roommate read it, too)(so did my mom)